Just kidding — I wouldn’t really kill myself.

But I would have *faked* my death, changed my name again, and moved to an even smaller country to live out my life as a fisherman.

“During my mission, I hadn’t seen any type of crime or scam, except the shell game, which I think most people are wise to.”

I think they need to change that sentence a bit:

“During my mission, I hadn’t seen any type of crime or scam, except the shell game, which I think everyone (BUT Tom Schneider) is wise to.

It was a truly amazing scene. On one side you have the cool calculating professional gambler/astute man of finance. On the other, a band of illiterate Russian Gypsies who’ve been using this same trick since their thieving Cro-Magnon relatives first pulled it off.

So, were watching the show from afar. Me thinking not to even insult Tom’s well honed, acute gaming skills by mentioning that this is a scam……then suddenly our hero goes all in. We need to add that Tom was looking slightly American with his shorts, white tennis shoes, golf cap, and buffet gut. But when he pulls out the club sandwich sized wallet, it was all over, baby. The pagan thieves must have realized right then that yes, there really is a God. And He will be good to them today. The gypsy jackals are yelling, and jostling and circling around the bloated tourist carcass ready for the big feed. No way was he getting out of there without a play. In my defense, I’m at the back of the pile pushing to move in and yelling for Tom not to do it, but this smelly thug has the job of physically restraining me, and I’m afraid he’s going to stab me with a dirty fork or something. Then suddenly the yelling stops, the circle opens, the gypsies release their prey.

I will add that Barcelona is a fantastic place to visit, and this kind of thing never happens, …except maybe to the occasional American looking tourist with hug wads. I’m really sorry for Tom, but would like to thank him for giving me a story I’ll be telling my grand kids.

There are two people in this world that I think would be the last to fall for this shit. One would be a CPA. Or… if you want to go for overkill, let’s make him a Corporate Controller. oooh, even better, let’s say he’s a CFO. That guy wouldn’t go for this scam.

What about a gamblin’ man. But not just any donkey. Let’s take somebody who can actually make a great living at it. I’m not talking about house games either. I mean a guy whose entire livelihood revolves around getting the best of people who are constantly trying to get the best of him. If that weren’t enough. Let’s just say he’s ranked among the best in the world. That guy wouldn’t go for this scam.

Now… Let’s imagine that these two accomplished gentlemen “got together” and through their combined intellect were able to devise a way to asexually reproduce in the form of a financially discerning and decisive, odds calculating, people reading, bracelet brandishing, bastard child. What are the odds that that guy would fall for such a rank scam?

The only thing that could make this scenario any more ridiculous is if you add yet another veteran gambler and a street-wise local to the list of associated victims.

Player down

I bet Hevad Khan would never fall for that shit. The things you do to give us material for Beyond the Table … oh well, at least that makes your loss tax-deductible.