http://www.parentalalienationsupport.com
See Heading “Public Distortion”
See Article titled “Parental Alienation & A Feminist Perspective: Denial, Distortion, and Diversion” Dated 10/6/2010
See Comments #9 and #10

This remains very sad for me. I don’t know why Brandi took her life.

Johnny Hughes

“what impact would a friend joking about how you should off yourself have on your psyche and related plans?”

Dan, you know I’m a sick puppy in many ways… I would have thought this was funny. Although I still would have opted for the pills.

“am wondering what responsibility someone with said conditions has in avoiding dangerous life tilt. Because if it’s a biological/physiological/neurological matter that is completely beyond the control of the afflicted, then suicide would be an unstoppable inevitability for Brandi and anyone like her, no?”

As I said earlier, it sounds to me like Brandi has Borderline Personality Disorder and one of the challenging things is that the person afflicted with it thinks that their actions are perfectly normal. They will do just about anything for attention in fact usually attempting suicide over and over… partly for attention and partly b/c they really want to die. Suicide is often the outcome for people with this disorder b/c it’s very difficult to treat with meds. These people’s coping mechanisms are all wrong, they are very volatile and many times only have their lives validated by how other people treat them. Generally, it does take an active ‘intervention’ of sorts with hospitalization and extended therapy to relearn coping skills and interpersonal interaction.

“Some suicides come as total shockers, and others hardly as a surprise”

I agree… this one could be seen coming down Main St… unfortunately no one close to her either identified that she was in need of serious help or that they weren’t able to convince her to get the help she needed.

And Ed… dear sweet Ed… all I have to say about your comments is that I envy you. You’ve obviously not had an up close and personal experience with severe mental illness so you are able to have a very uninformed view of the whole thing. I wish we all could be that naive.

Go Stars!

I guess if that is how they think then there is not much we can do to help them. Drugs? How is being drugged all the time to keep them from choosing suicide considered living? If death is the only way someone in that state of mind thinks things can get better then how is any drug suppose to help them? How am I suppose to keep them from choosing suicide if just being there for them as a friend/loved one is not enough? I guess I could have them locked up in a padded room. It all sounds like a lost cause if they already feel death is the only way out.

Ed, if you think that suicide is the easy way out, you’ve missed the entire point. Suicide is never an easy choice; sometimes, it merely seems like the only viable one.

I never meant for this post to instigate a heated argument. I actually didn’t expect any comments at all… Only hoped to explain a little for those who have no knowledge of mental illnesses and disorders.

Jason, this is not a news article, thus the title that indicated “personal thoughts.” I chose this forum to express those thoughts because many in the poker community are simply stunned by the news of Brandi’s death and don’t understand it. I only hoped to shed some light. Brandi made “news” in the poker world for quite some time, and her death is noteworthy, to say the least.

Dan, I don’t believe it’s unstoppable because mental health professionals can sometimes prescribe the correct medication and therapy to combat the problem. The problem is that not everyone has access to those professionals, whether it be because of location, access to health insurance, or merely the knowledge that help is available.

Ed, I thought you were putting up your most intelligent comment ever until this last phrase. I’m pretty sure pulling the plug is definitely not EASY. it’s much easier to self-obsessively sulk to your so-called friends.

Makes sense to me. With some people you see it coming a mile down the road. She was one of those people that just from reading about her “exploits” and drama she was living it was just a matter of time. Oh and reading some of her posts she made kind of helped in making that decision. For me at least. And it does not have to be self inflicted gunshots or razors in a warm bath either. When you read/watch about some of the celebs that are having “issues” you expect to read about them in the near future having ODed on some drug. Chris Farley comes to mind.

“God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes ‘Cause then you really might know what it’s like to have to choose.”

The good thing about this statement is that I will NEVER get myself into the types of situations she got herself into. Prob helps that I am not a hot young woman and will never be going through the drama she did with the pros she hooked up with early in her poker career.

In my opinion, everyone has two paths they can take when things get rough. Life or death. Guessing it was pretty bad since she chose death.

I just can’t feel sorry for someone who wants to take the easy way out.

Dude, how can you say that when I used so many big words?!?

***“Some suicides come as total shockers, and others hardly as a surprise”? How ridiculous is this statement?***

I dunno, you tell me. I’ve known two people who have committed suicide in the past few months. One of them came as a total shocker (the person whom I personally knew better) and the other was hardly a surprise to anyone who had limited interaction with her/2+2.

“Some suicides come as total shockers, and others hardly as a surprise”? How ridiculous is this statement?

“Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

Life is a set of paths and her views of those paths were distorted simple as that. Unfortunately she took the one path that ended her life because of it. It does not follow that all distorted views ultimately will come out with the same results. Each path is different and each view of each path is different.

Maybe you might understand it with this line, “God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes ‘Cause then you really might know what it’s like to have to choose.”

But some suicides come as total shockers, and others hardly as a surprise. When I think about Brandi’s situation, I can’t help but think about different things that might have prodded her off the plank … and yet those seem counterbalanced by things she did — decisions she made — that put her in the difficult spots that brought her seemingly inescapable pain.

Sorry, not trying to dismiss the mental illness aspect at all, but am wondering what responsibility someone with said conditions has in avoiding dangerous life tilt. Because if it’s a biological/physiological/neurological matter that is completely beyond the control of the afflicted, then suicide would be an unstoppable inevitability for Brandi and anyone like her, no?

So on a serious side, girls, I am curious, when in a pre-suicidal state, what impact would a friend joking about how you should off yourself have on your psyche and related plans?

Once again, very well said. It’s obvious that you have an intimate knowledge of how tricky and challenging mental illness generally, and depression more specifically can be. I don’t know what kind of personality disorder Brandi had, but based off your description and the description of some of her actions, it sounds like it might be Borderline Personality Disorder or Histrionic Personality Disorder. Both are very resistant to medication and can be especially difficult to “right” so to speak after one has gone past a certain point especially in a depression. Bipolar looks like a cake walk compared to these.

I’d like to address the comments that say it is “selfish”. I at one time said those same things when a close friend committed suicide leaving us behind to help his wife and children pick up the pieces. That WAS my opinion, until i began my own battle with severe depression. When I was at my lowest point and had made an unsuccessful attempt to end my life, a friend of mine told me how selfish it was. My response, from what I remember, was something like this, “Do you not understand how much pain I am in every day? The thought of living in this pain for the next 50+ years is unbearable. I don’t know how to get out of the pain any other way. You and all those that want me to live are the selfish ones for wanting me to live with this pain and for what? so that i can tell you jokes or loan you money or pick you up at the airport? you’ll find someone else to do those things. Just let me go.”

The reason I’m writing about such personal things is to try to put a living face of the battle with depression. I’m not sure that I’ll “convert” anyone to our way of thinking, Jen. But I figured it might help to have a first hand account as opposed to explaining what the person ‘might’ have been feeling. So those that want to debate this… bring it on.