It’s true. And she’s been palling around with druggies and convicts just so she can “write about it” and (don’t tell anyone I said this) I’m even hearing unconfirmed, squalidly detailed rumors from an imaginary source that she’s got a thing for Somali pirates! I’ll pull short of calling her The Ann Coulter of Poker … but she certainly touched a nerve by questioning the “good fight” behind our beloved little Texas HB 222.

Player safety, protection from shady games, capitalist personal freedom not real enough issues to vote on?

I might be extra-sensitive because, frankly, the bill seems to be stalling in Calendars Committee. Why that is, I’m not sure … they’ve heard our message, they know it has passable support … throw an amendment on if you need to, but c’mon … put us on the agenda already! I’m a little removed from what’s going on in Austin during this hectic part of the Session, but I’m pretty sure if we don’t move the bill forward in like the next -2 days, we might be in trouble … Just sitting there for like two weeks seems odd, assuming it’s ready for a simple yay or nay. I suppose it’s possible we’re getting Fristed somewhere in the process. Or, perhaps they’re just having a sincere intellectual dilemma, inspired by Amy Calistri’s question:

Why Do I Want to Pay a Rake?

Why is the PPA wasting time feigning a “grass roots” issue over a Texas bill whose only beneficiary is commercial poker – in a state where poker is unquestionably legal? … It doesn’t exactly meet my definition of fighting the good fight. I mean, even the banking lobby doesn’t ask me to petition my legislators for higher ATM fees. And they can be shameless.

[OK, deep breath, find peace ... no tilt]

More…

The Minnesota Star Tribune has an article on a Republican’s legislation Monday to bar the state’s Department of Public Safety from attempting to block access to 200 online gambling sites without legislative approval.

Rep. Pat Garofolo from Farmington offered the following:

More…

Funny … I just went to GSN’s YouTube page to watch the last couple episodes of High Stakes Poker. Usually I’ve been watching them this season when Mathers posts them here on Pokerati … but hey, I understand he’s a busy guy! And this is the page he’s been getting them from anyway.

So anyhow, I was hoping to find Season 5, Episodes 8 and 9 of HSP … because I’ve been missing the show during its regular air time on GSN, opting instead to watch Celebrity Apprentice. However, not only are these episodes not up yet, but here’s the video that greeted me when I went to GSN’s YouTube page (previously dedicated to HSP) hoping to catch up on what I’ve been missing while following Annie Duke on NBC:

LOL.

UPDATE: Found High Stakes Poker, Season 5 Episode 8 here.

From Monday’s show:

House of Cards Radio with Ashley Adams, airs at 7pm ET tonight on Boston’s 1510 the Zone, listen online here, Dan’s interview should start around 7:05pm.

The WSOP website has put out their Staff Resource Guide, containing over 230 pages of various information about this year’s World Series of Poker. There you can find floor plans for the three poker rooms that will be in use this year (no tournament tables at the Poker Room or Buzio’s, their seafood restaurant). You’ll also find the structures for every tournament one can take part in the Rio. You’ll also find a copy of the tournament rules and procedures, a dealer’s reference guide, how the tournament and floor staff will be compensated, and a copy of the daily calendar. The calendar also includes their projections on how many entrants will be in each bracelet event (and a comparison from last year when available), which is as follows:

More…

Four masked men robbed a poker game last month — probably a $5/$10 NL game, but not certain — pistol-whipping one of the victims and making off with $78,000. Police arrested two men, ages 18 and 23, a few days ago in connection with the crime:

Here’s what happened, according to Solon police:

Sheffield police arrested the men after seeing them near a parked car off the side of a road. Officers believed they looked suspicious.

As officers approached, they saw the men throw items under the car. The items included credit cards, a drivers license and a concealed weapons permit.

Sheffield police contacted the owner of these items. He told them he was a victim in the poker game robbery.

The suspects had also thrown a wristwatch under the car. The watch belonged to a second victim in the robbery.

Also, police determined that the car the men were driving, a mid-1990s Buick, was purchased with cash the day after the robbery.

One particularly strange thing in this case: all the money from the game was apparently labeled with “WWBD”. What Would Brunson Do?

Congratulations to Annie Duke (and Joan Rivers) for making the final 2 of Celebrity Apprentice. I never woulda guessed in 2008 that these two ladies would be such a significant part of my 2009. I’m personally thrilled Annie has gotten this far, because now maybe we can force Huff to give the topic even more airtime on The Poker Beat. I’m hearing two lines of commentary amongst poker players — either shameless rooting for “one of our own” or tales from the bitter about her oppressive bitchiness on the felt, in the hallways, and just about anywhere else she’s done business.

Serious question though:

Is there anywhere you can bet on Celebrity Apprentice?

I mean I’m sure you can’t now, because you know, a few people already know the results. But could you have, at the beginning of the season, or before? I’m pretty sure Vegas casinos don’t offer non-sports entertainment betting lines … but online?

More…

Ooh, I almost forgot to post these clips … we know Joan Rivers is willing to do what it takes to make something look better than it really is, and perhaps in an attempt to unoffend poker players and recharge her fan base, she and her daughter appeared on Ellen. The show started with a poker skit:

OK, hmm, interesting. At least this tells all those YouTube commenters that Melissa wasn’t acting in the original outburst.

Here’s their appearance/interview with Ellen (love the Lady Gaga intro — woot!), where Joan doesn’t exactly rescind her disgust for all things poker, but she does downgrade and de-Semitize her Annie hatred by calling her not Hitler, but The Bernie Madoff of Poker. She apparently doesn’t realize that title is already taken by Russ Hamilton — or maybe she does! — but whatever:

An LOL from @TexDolly:

Joan Rivers is so dumb she named her Zebra Spot

I think the finale is tonight The semi-finals are tonight … I can tell people are starting to watch it on the east coast. Doyle Brunson’s watching it, too, apparently, but I guess he’s got some special cable/satellite hook-up that doesn’t make him wait for the same time-zone delay that has me waiting.

(And yes, I’m waiting. Apparently Pokeratizens got it wrong when, pre-episode 1, we thought the only show it would beat ratings-wise was World Poker Tour reruns. Turns out to be one of the hot shows of the year worldwide, even among non-poker people — much because of the Annie Duke/Joan Rivers disrepute.)

Interesting article circulating among soldiers of fortune and military experts looking for new ways to win end the war in Afghanistan by applying game theory to situations on the ground. Not to give away the ending, but in assessing whether a village is more likely to support the Taliban or the Coalition, the Small Wars Journal says:

Can a round of poker solve Afghanistan’s problems? Not exactly, but understanding the basics of game theory can offer military planners an alternative way to design solutions to the wicked problems they may face.

Full article (pdf) here. Via @HowardHLederer via Bill Rini.

ALT HED: Poker = Whirled Peas

The EPT Grand Final final table (in Monte Carlo) is under way. The contenders, their age, their countries, and their chip counts:

Dag Martin Mikkelsen (age 22, Norway) – 7,360,000
Matthew Woodward (age 26, United States) – 4,920,000
Peter Traply (age 21, Hungary) – 4,250,000
Mikhail Tulchinsky (age 43, Russia) – 3,605,000
Daniel Zink (age 24, Germany) – 2,570,000
Eric Qu (age 47, France) – 2,550,000
Alem Shah (age 51, Germany) – 1,520,000
Pieter de Korver (age 26, Netherlands) – 1,390,000

The 5-day, €10,000 main event drew 935 players (compared to 842 last year) and is paying €2.3 million to the winner. Click here to follow the action.

UPDATE: You can also watch live coverage at EPTLive.com, which I’m listening to in French to hear Benjo do the broadcast, who I gotta say is as funny in French (which I don’t speak) as he is in English.

Meanwhile, they’re concurrently playing the final table of the €25,000 “high rollers” event (a 3-day affair) — where the winner gets €720,000 … €434,000 to 2nd place. It’s apparently been quite the action game. They lost four players in the first level. Those remaining:

Randy Dorfman (age ??, United States) – 1,200,000 2,000,000
Tony G (age 35, Lithuania) – 900,000
Vanessa Rousso (age 26, United States) – 810,000 790,000 880,000
x- 4th place – Florian Langmann (age 26, Germany) – 1,180,000 220,000

Rousso actually started the day as the chip leader. I’m following her on Twitter, actually, where she has quite the hardbody avatar with a fake shark. Semi-interesting that both Americans remaining are both from Florida.

BTW, the current exchange rate:
€1 = $1.33
$1 = €.75

So that means the main event win pays: $3.05 million
The high rollers win pays: $956,000

Man, I tell ya … ads these days … it’s like sometimes they know exactly who’s reading ‘em and what they’re looking for:

A good reminder for people who spend a lot of time staring at the river: dontbebroke.com.

Cool event went down this week in Washington DC — a fundraiser for Put a Bad Beat on Cancer, where a bunch of politicos got together with Team Full Tilt Howard Lederer, Phil Gordon, and Rafe Furst to experience the joys of getting beginner poker lessons and playing in a terrible an exciting, luck-friendly blind-structure tournament (with rebuys!) … all for a good cause.

Check out the video coverage from Politico.com:

My observations:

• Had Rep. James McGovern (D-MA) read Joe Navarro, he’d know that we know he’s probably not being truthful when he says he’s happy to be there … unless, of course, that’s just his baseline response.
• Multiple politicians admit to experimenting with poker “when I was in college.”
• Barney Frank (D-MA) says he doesn’t play poker because he doesn’t enjoy it … but that doesn’t stop him from wanting to “repeal the foolish law that makes it illegal for people who want to gamble to gamble over the internet.” (So we can say “illegal” now?)
• Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) gets credited with having the best poker face … and I hope state legislators back home take note that even some gray-haired, vote-conscious conservatives are totally cool with poker.
• Nice closing line by Lederer about politics being just another form of poker.