Eskimo Bracelet Buy-It-Now, More Eastgate Swag for Sale, Phillips’ Quitter Quotient + Happy and Gay in Poker
The Railbird Report
Iâ€™m back in action because I thought I was going to be up this morning spending my Pokerati paycheck on an Eskimo Clark bracelet — thereâ€™s one for sale on Ebay right now, in an auction that closes in about an hour. But holy meltdown, theyâ€™re up to 15 bids already, from six different bidders, and $4,050! Thatâ€™s already more than TJ Cloutier got for his pawned-off WSOP hardware nearly a year ago, and puts Eskimo’s jewels way out of my league unless someone wants to give me a raise by infinity. Can you say, â€œGoing once, going twice â€¦ going in your pants at the table?â€
The auction closes today at 10 am PT.Get in before this â€œpre-ownedâ€ 1999 $1,500 Razz beauty is gone. (Replace the word Razz with “Dodge Neon” and that’s what my last boyfriend used to say to initiate foreplay.)
I knew I had no chance of scoring Peter Eastgateâ€™s bracelet on eBay last week. His newer model fetched a whopping $147,500 after Interpoker got into a bidding war with Tony G, who made a play for the limelight by blog-bragging about plans to buy it for a collar for his dog. Inter stepped in to thwart him from making a â€œmockeryâ€ of the WSOP, but Iâ€™m not sure which is worse – seeing a WSOP bracelet on a dog or seeing it on eBay. But with the prize going to anonymous bidder “7***l”, it did raise a lot of money for UNICEF.
And check it out, Eastgate’s not done hawking his WSOP main event booty yet. Little Peteyâ€™s now got his â€œ2008 WSOP Final Table Corum timepieceâ€ for sale. The seller is â€œpetereastgateâ€ himself, making his first ever eBay posting. Asking price: $7,000. Money from that auction will go to UNICEF, too, but so far it has 0 bidders and closes on Friday.
Maybe Iâ€™ll use what I thought I’d spend on Eskimo to buy a couple Peter Eastgate 8x10s.
Four EPT winners walk into a bar …
Eastgate ups the ante for promising poker quitters like Carter Phillips, who says heâ€™s 95 percent sure heâ€™s done with poker after being robbed of â‚¬4,000 at EPT Barcelona. The defending champion claims he was attacked by Zorro … but this machete-wielding lunatic wasnâ€™t like the one at EPT Berlin. Phillips was with three other up-and-coming big-money pros — Kevin Stani (winner EPT-Tallin), Kayvan Payman (final table EPT-London) and William Reynolds (winner PCA High Roller) — when they supposedly got pickpocketed at a “hookah bar” (that sounds Spanish for “hooker bar”) then ambushed by a man with a frying pan?
Phillips was the only one there with a WSOP bracelet (2010 $1,500 NLH 6-max) to pawn off if he’s serious about quitting. We all know he’s bluffing, but when the 21-year-old does decide to man up, drop balls, and get back in the game, it will be a long time before we hear him ask for a chopped pot.
So while Iâ€™m still here with nothing to bid on â€¦
Bryan Micon posted on Facebook over the Thanksgiving holiday: â€œLet it be known: I have married my beloved Martha.â€ Inspiring, really. A guy who has made a career out of posting peens on the internet gets married for the SECOND time. Related: In an effort to improve my love life, I am now accepting pics of random wood.
Gavin Smith made himself a baby — with whom, Iâ€™ll find out, but right now I know he calls her â€œMoomyâ€ and she’s not me. After the birth a couple weeks ago, proud poker papa tweeted, â€œ7lbs 2oz, 20 inches long and quite well endowed if I may say so myself.â€ Letâ€™s hope Micon doesnâ€™t get a picture of that before the kid gets a million twitter followers.
Mike Matusow has a new girlfriend. Annie LePage, some Las Vegas PETA chick that Dan can’t shut up about. Letâ€™s face it – Mike Matusow isnâ€™t the sexiest player alive, but Iâ€™d take my chances with someone nicknamed â€œThe Mouthâ€, too. It became official with giddy girltalk about meeting his parents and then a change in Facebook status that I know crushed our Pokerati in Chief. Hey, cheer up, toots. Iâ€™m sure Matusow will fuck this up before long. And you can do better with ME and my… um… yeah, nevermind.
No FAIR! Iâ€™ve got three!
And finally, once again proving that heâ€™s constantly got male genitals on his mind, Daniel Negreanu paid some dude to get a â€˜Loves Cockâ€™ tattoo. Yup, $1,000 was the price happily paid by Kid Poker to see Dominic Mattucci declare his fondness for eating meat. Jeez… wish Iâ€™d have known about this before I got mine.
Kim Shannon can be found sexting on Twitter @KimShannon and blogging at Glaring Madness. She keeps sending naked pictures to Donkdown hoping for her big breakthrough, but so far most have been returned to sender.