Carter Gill readies himself for Oklahoma jail
Carter Gill, 24, a top-ranked online poker pro, may be offline for a while, as he says heâ€™ll be reluctantly turning himself in to authorities in Jefferson County, Oklahoma, to begin serving a 14-day jail sentence. The charges stem NOT from his arrest in September for public drunkenness at WinStar Casino, where he had to leave his chipstack behind in The River main event after being hauled away in a police cruiser (but still took 90th place in absentia, winning $4,540). Instead, heâ€™s answering to the courts for various other unrelated crimes, including a DUI.
Gill is known for his unashamed belligerence, politically incorrect rants, and a â€œFUCKITALLâ€ attitude. I totally dig this guy, partly because heâ€™s virtually a male copy of myself (so I â€œget himâ€) and partly because I respect his game. But a recent Facebook status update shed some new light on his true
vagina character: â€œI really donâ€™t want to go to jailâ€¦ 14 days is going to be brutal,â€ he whimpered.
Shortly after publishing that comment, Gillâ€™s ballsack threatened to tear itself off and run away in shame. I was really disappointed to see the him panicking over two short weeks behind bars. Letâ€™s put this in perspectiveâ€¦getting fisted by Edward Scissorhands is brutal. Â A coathanger abortion is brutal. Two weeks in a hillbilly jailhouse isnâ€™t so much brutal as it is inconvenient
Keep your chin up, Carter; Iâ€™m sure the two weeks behind bars will come and go as fast as your bankroll does.