Brash Online Pro Headed to the Slammer

Carter Gill readies himself for Oklahoma jail

by , Feb 20, 2011 | 6:04 am

carter gill online poker pro jail oklahoma mugshotCarter Gill, 24, a top-ranked online poker pro, may be offline for a while, as he says he’ll be reluctantly turning himself in to authorities in Jefferson County, Oklahoma, to begin serving a 14-day jail sentence. The charges stem NOT from his arrest in September for public drunkenness at WinStar Casino, where he had to leave his chipstack behind in The River main event after being hauled away in a police cruiser (but still took 90th place in absentia, winning $4,540). Instead, he’s answering to the courts for various other unrelated crimes, including a DUI.

Gill is known for his unashamed belligerence, politically incorrect rants, and a “FUCKITALL” attitude. I totally dig this guy, partly because he’s virtually a male copy of myself (so I “get him”) and partly because I respect his game. But a recent Facebook status update shed some new light on his true vagina character: “I really don’t want to go to jail… 14 days is going to be brutal,” he whimpered.

Shortly after publishing that comment, Gill’s ballsack threatened to tear itself off and run away in shame. I was really disappointed to see the him panicking over two short weeks behind bars. Let’s put this in perspective…getting fisted by Edward Scissorhands is brutal.  A coathanger abortion is brutal. Two weeks in a hillbilly jailhouse isn’t so much brutal as it is inconvenient

Keep your chin up, Carter; I’m sure the two weeks behind bars will come and go as fast as your bankroll does.


18 Comments to “Brash Online Pro Headed to the Slammer”


  1. GaryW
    says:

    Pretty sure getting fisted by Edward Scissorhands would be a lot worse when it lasts for two weeks. Are you serious? Have you never seen a prison flick?


  2. Concerned Grinder
    says:

    http://img267.imageshack.us/i/devinr12.jpg/

    Devinr12 is his online handle and you can see he has issues and is a danger to society and most likely himself.


  3. Poker Shrink
    says:

    Throw Kim in the slammer for a fortnight then let’s have another know-it-all post.

    Dan – where do you get some of these amateur writers?


  4. gobbomom
    says:

    yeah, I’m not crazy about Carter Gill, but this is a bad article.


  5. McGoo
    says:

    First Saab. Now Gill. Look out Eddie Sabat!


  6. Dan Michalski
    says:

    GMom and Shrink, why the hate? I know Kim can be a little naughty at times and not for everyone … but if you wanna start calling out poker people for being “amateur” … well I know I wouldn’t have the time to cover any news, as it would take a full staff to point out the mistakes of those who actually get paid to write about poker.


  7. Kim Shannon
    says:

    All the venom thrown at me about this article?? Wayyyy more brutal than a measly 14 days in jail. Hah!


  8. gobbomom
    says:

    Dan, I have to stick up for the small percentage of parents who enthusiastically support our kids’ careers and Carter Gill’s Dad does. It’s really tough to read some of the crap written about our [mostly] sons, from people who are just trying to get attention by writing cruel things about them (even if they might be true). I think this is just over-the-top brutal.


  9. Kim Shannon
    says:

    @gobbomom – Although I COMPLETELY disagree with your opinion (obviously), I will defend ’til my death your right to voice it. THAT BEING SAID, you should know that I forwarded a copy of this blurb to Carter Gill himself right before it was published, and he thought it was hilarious & actually ENCOURAGED me to submit it. Perhaps before you throw around the word “cruel”, you should look up the phrase “sense of humor”. Just sayin’. ;)


  10. Kim Shannon
    says:

    Oh and just one more thing… If I were looking for attention, I’d just show my boobs like any other self-respecting attention whore. It’s easier, less work, doesn’t require proper punctuation and grammar and I’d get way less negative feedback. HAH!


  11. Dan Michalski
    says:

    indeed, fair enough, Gmom … but I was gonna say I don’t think you realize that Kim probably knows Carter better than all of us. And though I want to have an editor-writer talk with her about how and why that may not have come across, you gotta understand when working with a bipolar girl like Kim, I gotta proceed with caution, as you never know what might send her off the deep end.

    ;)

    And Kim, you play nice, too … I know you know our standard of no personal attacks except against daniel negreanu and phil hellmuth (and this was definitely not one of them in my book. But Poker Shrink and Gobbomom are important readers, so don’t go picking fights expecting me to kick dirt and spit while you all tangle.

    And and … note to self: explain to crew why in most cases showing a story to someone before it goes to print can be a fireable offense!


  12. Kim Shannon
    says:

    But Dan, if you fire me, I’ll never be able to afford the swanky lifestyle you’ve provided me with. Or my crazy pills… but then again, I could just borrow some of yours.


  13. Dan Michalski
    says:

    Yeah, but Shrink’s the dude who writes the scrips!


  14. carter gill
    says:

    Well, the jail isn’t finalized. And I saw the article before she posted it, and told her to go ahead and post it, since I thought it was funny. Personally, I know I have made mistakes, and I know I have a temper. But hey miturtle, at least i dont scam charities. And if I didn’t have a temper after how you had run versus me, then something would be wrong. And I lol’d at the first Saab, then Carter, watch out eddie comment. That was pretty funny. Oh and it’s Jefferson County Oregon. Heh.

    And wtf about leaving out the “But in all seriousness, speaking of “slammers”… The last time I spoke with Carter, I asked him what he’d like the general public to know about himself. He answered me with two simple words… “Nine Inches.” I told him that as a journalist, I deal in fact, not hearsay… and he quickly forwarded proof to my inbox. HUGE proof.”


  15. Kim Shannon
    says:

    Sorry ’bout that Carter – as you can see, my stuff gets edited A LOT!

    >.<

    But yes, folks… he speaks the truth. (Almost virtually took an eye out!) LOL


  16. Aunt Libby
    says:

    Carter Carter Carter, at least the online articles and videos about Chase, Kelsey and Turner don’t have to be edited for content. Dont forget, family members have access to these articles about you too.


  17. not a carter fan
    says:

    Hope you’re not claiming to be the female carter now Kim. Not sure how proud of scamming backers, dumping to get dropped by them, and playing switcheroo with rape buddies you be. But i guess people idolize all types. 


  18. not a carter fan
    says:

    Hope you’re not claiming to be the female carter now Kim. Not sure how proud of scamming backers, dumping to get dropped by them, and playing switcheroo with rape buddies you be. But i guess people idolize all types. 

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