Lots of Tournaments

Be aware, some big international poker tournaments are on the horizon. In July, the World Poker Tour beings its 11th season in the island nation of Cyprus. I went to Cyprus once. I spend most of my time playing tennis on an army base. It was very hot, so if you’re looking to take part in the $4,000 + $400 main event take some sunscreen with you and maybe a tennis racquet. [Poker News Report]

It will probably be just as hot at the Palm Beach Casino in Cannes, where the Partouche Poker Tour Season 5 finale is scheduled to occur. You can read about all the events in French here. An English version of the schedule doesn’t appear to exist just yet.

The Isle of Man Gets Gaming 

There aren’t any live tournaments taking place on the Isle of Man – a tiny island off the coast of Britain – but there might be soon. A bill which would permit non-casino venues access to temporary gambling licenses is making its way through the island’s legislative bodies. This might not seem like the most newsworthy piece of information, until you accept two facts. Firstly, the Isle of Man is the home of PokerStars, who know a thing or two about running poker tournaments. Secondly, the island is well known for housing exceptionally rich people who would rather not pay as much tax as everyone else. I’ll let you do the math on those two pieces of information. [Card Player]

Betfair in Germany

British bookmakers Betfair have become the first overseas gambling company to acquire a shiny new German gambling license. The German state of Schleswig Holstein dissented from the other 15 principalities by enacting liberalised gaming laws. Licenses may now be granted to any company which is already established within the European Union. Betfair will be required to pay 20% tax to the local government on all profits made in Schleswig Holstein. [Reuters]

Mizzi’s Health Kick

It should hopefully not come as a shock to learn that the sedentary lifestyle of a poker player is not conducive physical fitness. After Black Friday bumped him from his computer, Canadian pro Sorel Mizzi committed himself to a regimen of healthy living. He is now extending the same challenge to every gelatinous lump with a fondness for rivered straights. Players who undergo the most successful fitness regimes will receive in depth personal tutoring from Sorel. Check out his lengthy blog post for the full judging criteria and all sorts of other nonsense. [Sorel Mizzi]

Lock Poker Loves Cake

I like the idea of a cake revolution. It sounds delicious! Sadly, this story is only about the Cake Poker Network relaunching itself as Revolution Gaming. All under the aegis of Lock Poker, who announced this week that they are buying Cake and leaving their former home on the Merge Network. The new Lock-Cake combo is set to launch on June 1st. [Poker News]

All I can think about now are delicious baked goods, so the news will have to end here while go off in search of a revolutionary Battenberg. Keep your eyes peeled for any other dissident bakery produce and I’ll be back next week with another Wider World of Poker.

Party Poker Premier League Crowns Seiver

An elite gaggle of poker’s most elite players gathered to play in the elite Party Poker Premier League V. An elite tournament featuring an elite $1.6 million prize pool and a $500,000 elite first place prize. The winner was avuncular American Scott Seiver, who bested a final table including Tom Dwan, Sam Trickett, and Patrik Antonius.

After busting out in 7th, record breaking endurance crazy-man Phil Laak hot-footed it over to the Big Game – a 48 hour cash table also organized by those rascals at Party Poker. The Unabomber maintained his reputation for extreme stamina by emerging as the game’s biggest winner with a profit of €160,000. [Poker News]

Sam Holden Existentialism

Just like the rest of you, I’ve spent many sleepless nights wondering what it must be like to be Irish November Niner Sam Holden. Well you need wonder no more. A documentary entitled ‘Being Sam Holden’ is due to air May 2nd in the UK and Ireland, with screenings in the rest of the world scheduled for later in the year. It follows Sam’s trials and tribulations at last year’s World Series where he finished 9th for over $700k. [IFTN]

Manila Millions

Right now in the Philippines, a group of players are battling for the Manila Millions title. A HKD$1,000,000 ($129,000) tournament organized by the Asian Poker Tour. Supposedly among the locals are the likes of Phil Ivey, Tom Dwan, Johnny Chan, and Sam Trickett.

If you’re lucky, you could catch a glimpse of these pros on the “live stream” airing right now. The feed currently features a group of asian men sitting around a table, with an asian lady commentating in a language I don’t understand. People who’ve been watching it longer than me insist that it’s repeated itself at least once, calling the whole ‘live’ thing into question. I can tell you that they are definitely playing poker, but that’s about as far as I’m willing to go. [WPT Mag]

Stars Beat Table Ratings in Poker Battle

The war against datamining took a big swing in favour of PokerStars this week as they successfully forced tracking site Poker Table Ratings to remove all information scraped from their poker client. For years, players had used PTR to gain information on potential opponents by accessing graphs formed from thousands upon thousands of hands. However, after receiving a cease and desist letter from Stars, PTR have been forced to eradicate a huge chunk of their service. [Part Time Poker]

EGBA Publish EU Manifesto

The European Union is a confusing beast at the best of times. Sometimes a united whole, but more often a loose alliance of countries with wildly conflicting agendas. The approach taken by various EU states to online gambling is an excellent example of the varying philosophies present across the continent. After months of consultation and debate, the European Commission will release an online gaming ‘communication and action plan’ this summer. A trade group for European operators – the European Gaming and Betting Association – have weighed in with their own manifesto, which they no doubt hope will influence the EC’s final decision. [InterGame Online]

AGCC Full Tilt Hearing Scheduled

The Alderney Gambling Control Commission have announced their plans to hold a public hearing into Full Tilt’s application for a new license. Excuse me if I don’t get overly excited about this one, but the last time I turned up for a public AGCC hearing on an FTP license, I spent a day sitting in a hotel lobby while teams of lawyers debated behind closed doors. Odds are pretty low on Full Tilt’s council once again attempting to argue for a session that takes place ‘in camera’. [Poker News Report]

Jobs Posted at Full Tilt Poker

Brace yourselves, everyone. Full Tilt Poker is poised to re-emerge from the ashes like a suspiciously French-looking phoenix. Parent company Pocket Kings are advertising for a handful of new jobs, suggesting that the tarnished online poker site is preparing for a re-launch. At the very least, they must have acquired the money to pay these new employees. Here’s hoping that their budget stretches to refunding jilted players. [Bill Rini]

Isildur Defeats His Nemesis for $1 million

Ever since Viktor Blom began taking on all comers in his SuperStar Showdowns, no one has put up more stubborn resistance than Isaac Haxton. The American had won both of their previous heads-up encounters, so for their third battle the duo decided to add a little extra spice. Both would buy in for $500,000 and nobody would be allowed to leave until one player held all the money. After three days and over 5,000 hands, it was the maniacal Swede who took home the prize. [Poker News]

Russian Gambler Turns to Politics

This is quite a peculiar one, made all the stranger by the language barrier. Online poker player Max Katz has been elected to a position on the municipal council of his hometown. He reportedly funded his campaign with money made from online poker. Katz has yet to record any major live scores and seems to be known as much for staking as for any online prowess. There’s also the small matter of him allegedly providing “ghosting” services to fellow players that spawned one of the many pocket controversies on 2+2. [Telegraph]

Poker Nordica is No More

Poker sites come and go, but it’s never a happy occurrence. The latest to bow out is Poker Nordica, a solid member of the Merge network. Players began receiving messages on March 30th announcing the imminent closure of the site and, in the wake of Full Tilt, will have be worried about getting their money back. Nordica are paying out only in cheques, which means that withdrawals under $100 cannot be processed. You can, however, move your money to one of the many other Merge Network sites. Any cash left floating around in Nordica’s coffers after May 1st will be lost forever [Poker News Daily]

Successful Start for iSeriesLIVE

After a well-hyped build up, the iSeriesLIVE finally made its debut on Thursday night. For the uninformed, it was a live-streamed single table tournament with visible hole-cards, which allowed players to bet on the action as it played out. I watched the whole show and thought it went down pretty well. It’s impossible to say exactly how profitable it was from a business perspective, but a mix of noisy old-guard and interesting new-players made for an entertaining spectator sport. The eventual victor was James Dempsey, who already has WSOP and WPT titles to his name. [Poker News]

Irish Open Pays Out to Belgium

The iSeries took place in Dublin, which just so happened to be the venue for the 2012 Irish Open. As host to one of the oldest series in the world, Ireland has a good track record of attracting the poker establishment. Also there’s lots of Guinness, which helps. The main event was won by Beligian pro Kevin Vandersmissen, who pulled the old ‘chip and a chair’ routine at the final table. [Poker News Report]

With that, I’m off to drown myself in the huge piles of chocolate which have mysteriously appeared in my apartment. A significantly heavier version of me will be back next week with another Wider World of Poker.

Dragging the Pot

Psychologists at Concordia University, Quebec claim to have discovered a correlation between online poker, alcohol, and marijuana. I can hear your eyebrows raising from here, but maybe it makes sense? I mean, it’s fair to say that online gambling is a common outlet for dangerously addictive personalities, who may also incline towards an excess of drink and drugs. Although it should be noted that this study does not establish any kind of link between an excess of narcotics and online gambling. Plus, of the 8,456 people surveyed, it turns out that only 111 gambled online in any capacity. I’d keep that eyebrow elevated, if I were you [Psych Central]

Macau Misery for Hansen

Things have been quiet on the Macau front lately, but the new Big Game has been rolling steadily on. Gus Hansen continues to be the most vocal regular, even when he lands on the wrong end of the action. The Great Dane was on hand recently to tell told press about a HK $1.7 million river bluff being picked off by that pesky Tom Dwan. British-born Sam Trickett has also established himself as a fixture in Macau, taking to Twitter to report the capture of his “biggest pot ever.” [Poker Nyhederne]

Premiere League Primed

Every week, while sifting through the internet for stories, I see a report about some pro or other joining the PartyPoker Premiere League. And every week, without fail, I discard it in favour of something more interesting, with the promise that I’ll cover it when the line-up is fully confirmed. Well cometh the hour, cometh the journalist.

The roster is complete, all $125,000 buy-ins have been collected, and the competitors are split into two groups. This weekend, players will duke it out to post the best overall results in a series of single table Sit-and-Gos, aiming to reach a lucrative grand final. Among those taking to the felt are Phil Laak, Erik Seidel, Tom Dwan, Sam Trickett, ElkY, Patrick Antonius, and Vanessa Selbst. [Party Poker]

Teenager Takes France

Over here in Europe, we’re a little more liberal with our youth. At the age of 16 children are released into the wild, free to impregnate each other and make bad reality TV shows. One Czech whippersnapper decided to dedicate herself to poker instead and at the tender age of 18 has won €70,000 ($93,387) as the champion of the France Poker Series. Veronika Pavlikova may yet prove to be a flash in the pan, but blowing past ElkY and Eugene Katchalov at the final table will do her reputation no harm at all. [OnlinePoker.net]

The Brick Report

There’s nothing more exciting than a report, which is why there are two of them in this week’s column. This first of which has been unveiled as part of a joint project between the Universities of Nevada and Hamburg. It challenges the oft observed principle that online gaming robs custom from bricks-and-mortar casinos. Instead, the existence of online sites increases the overall volume of gamblers in the world and pumps more customers towards the land-based market. [Poker Strategy]

The Alderney Report

Finally, a British report, the best kind of report there is. No there’s no time to qualify that statement, I have news to deal with. Peter Dean, former Chairman of the British Gambling Control Commission, was asked to complete a report on Alderney’s handling of the Full Tilt debacle. His verdict was pretty positive, agreeing with the Commission that subterfuge on the part of FTP left them unable to act efficiently. [Card Player]

I’m off to wander the streets in a drug-addled stupor, cradling a bottle of gin beneath my ragged coat. Assuming I haven’t collapsed into a pool of my own decadence, I’ll see you next week.

Aussie ‘Supergrass’ To Testify

The catalyst for Black Friday, Daniel Tzvetkoff, is to testify on April 9th at the trials of Chad Elie and John Campos. The Australian millionaire made his fortune as the head of Instabill, a payment processor frequently used by online poker players. After being arrested in April 2010 he become an informant, providing U.S. federal authorities with the evidence they needed to bring down PokerStars and Full Tilt. [The Australian]

UK Market No Longer Tax Free 

On Wednesday, a pasty-faced man with a red briefcase came before the people of Britain with a special list of things for the nation to complain about. The Budget, as it is more commonly known, contained information about big changes to the UK gaming sector. From now on operators will be required to pay tax on all profits generated by British players. [Poker Fuse]

Ups and Downs for Bwin

Bwin, the Austrian half of bwin.party, have had a mixed week. On the positive side, they released a new app for real-money poker on the iPad. Their network is now smushed together with Party Poker, so there should be plenty of action to keep you busy on the train or the toilet. Or the toilet on the train.

More negatively, Spanish lawmakers have decreed that football teams may not carry sponsorship logos belonging to companies not locally domiciled. Bwin operate from a zeppelin above the mountains of Mars Gibraltar and are therefore required to end their lucrative deal with league-topping Real Madrid. [Gaming Intelligence] & [The Olive Press]

All Alderney All the Time

The Alderney Gambling Control Commission added their 100th licensee this week in the form of the Relax Gaming network. Head of e-Commerce at Alderney, Robin LePrevost, was bullish about the island’s reputation after Black Friday, claiming that they have seen no slowdown in applications. Their questionable regulation of Full Tilt may not have stemmed the flow, but the addition of nearby Jersey to the license-providing market may have a more profound impact. [Card Player]

iSeriesLIVE to Debut in Ireland

The iSeriesLIVE is a brand new venture which allows viewers to wager on poker as it plays out live. The inaugural event takes place in Dublin on April 5th and features the likes of Daniel Negreanu, Phil Hellmuth, and Faraz Jaka. As it unfolds, PaddyPower will be taking bets on the next elimination, how red or black the next flop will turn out, and all manner of ridiculous wagers. It’s all the fun of poker degeneracy without the inconvenience of actually having to actually play poker. [iSeriesLIVE]

I shall bid you adieu in the form of a congratulation. Noted wit-merchant David Mitchell is to tie the knot with poker player and journalist Victoria Coren. I’m happy for the couple, of course, but I’d mainly like to congratulate the universe for being a place in which two such interesting people can come together in the pursuit companionship and mysterious bedroom activities. A quick word to David, you might want to read up a little before the wedding night.

In fact, the trip has been so void of substance that the BBC ran a report detailing how the U.S. press have had nothing to report. I expect the New York Times to respond with an even more self-reflexive story about the BBC and so on, until every media outlet only runs articles that detail what other outlets are not saying about what isn’t going on. Don’t fret, however. This faithful journalist will stick purely to the finest cuts of poker news, as this opening paragraph surely indicates.

Full Tilt and Tapie To Tie Up Tryst?

The rumour mill informs us that Full Tilt and Group Bernard Tapie have nearly finished thrashing out a deal to relaunch the tarnished site. We’ve experienced plenty of false dawns before, so don’t get out your party hats just yet. That said, Gaming Intelligence are reporting a deadline of today (March 16th) is in place, so we should know pretty soon whether or not to start laying out the celebratory buffet. [Part Time Poker]

Haxton Wins Again

The much anticipated rematch between Isaac Haxton and Viktor “Isildur1” Blom stumbled its way to completion earlier this week. As part of the PokerStars SuperStar Showdown the famously volatile Swede has been taking on, and beating, all comers. Haxton was one of the few to have bested him and proved the victor once again as they reunited. After 2500 hands, Isaac’s margin of victory was a slender $5,093. [Card Player]

Partouche Invasion

Typical! The Prime Minister leaves the country and the next thing you know, the French are invading our sovereign internet. Partouche – one of the big players in France’s insular gaming market – have got themselves a license from Malta and are planning to launch themselves on a handful of foreign countries, including the UK. Online sportsbook France-Pari are also getting in on the act. [Gambling Kingz]

Bulgaria & Online Gambling’s Love/Hate Relationship

Regulated online gambling is on its way to Bulgaria, with the local government hammering out the details of the country’s first Gambling Bill. Great news for Martenitsa-wearing poker players everywhere. However, the Bulgarian government clearly believe in maintaining a cosmic equilibrium, having first introduced legislation requiring ISPs to block all unlicensed sites. Given that it is not yet possible to acquire licenses, that black list would include just about everyone. [Novinite]

Spain Deny Early Licences

While we’re talking about licenses that don’t exist, let’s hop over to the other side of Europe for some tapas. With regulated online gambling almost upon the Spanish, there are rumours that some companies have had their license applications secretly pre-approved. Gaming regulator Enrique Alejo denies it. “Good progress had been made,” he told a journalist, before adding “oh look, a Spanish Imperial Eagle,” while stuffing large quantities of paper into a briefcase*. [Poker Fuse]

Italy a Hotbed of Euro-Poker 

If you’re looking for lots of online poker games in Europe, your best bet is to seek out the country shaped most like a piece of footwear. No other nation on the continent draws in as much cash from online poker, although the practice still pails in comparison to the buzzing, flashing gaming machines that pepper non-digital Italy. [Market Watch]

*Some of that last sentence may not be 100% factually accurate.

Worldwide Gambling Bonanza

Every click, stick, twist, and spin from last year has been totalled up and the results are in. The planet Earth generated $419 billion in gambling revenue, according to Global Betting and Gaming Consultants. Poker, in particular the online variety, makes up a very small component of that figure, but I don’t think it would be going out on a limb to suggest that the U.S. getting their regulatory act together might nudge it further up the list. [OnlinePoker.net]

UK Investors in for Full Tilt

After riding into the breach on a white stallion, Groupe Bernard Tapie appear to have stopped for a picnic. In case they decide to stay where they are and play Frisbee for a while, a UK private equity firm is poised to purchase Full Tilt’s old poker software. Please note, that means only the software and nothing else. They have no interest in reopening Full Tilt and are very unlikely to cover the site’s debts. That said, you would hope that the $35 million estimated price for the client would filter back into the pockets of jilted Full Tilt customers. I’m sure we can totally trust them, right? [Gaming Awards]

WSOPE 2012 Unveils Itself

I am still seething from when Caesars’ cruelly ripped the World Series of Poker Europe from my beloved London and gave it to the French, of all people. As difficult as it is to believe, the Gauls apparently did a good job last year. At any rate, the event is heading back to Cannes from September 21 to October 4 at the Casino Barrière de Cannes Croisette and the Hôtel Majestic Barrière. There will be seven bracelet events in total, including the €10,450 Main Event. [ESPN]

Haxton vs. Isildur

I think these SuperStar Showdown things are really good fun. For the most part, internet sensation Viktor “Isildur1” Blom has outmatched the gamut of famous grinders laid before him, but this weekend’s re-match features one of his few failures. Isaac Haxton, him of the stylish glasses and funny voice, will be sitting down to play four tables of $50/$100 NLHE this Sunday. [Card Player]

Shuffle Master Buys OnGame

Failed Transformer ShuffleMaster has decided to dip his toe into the world of online gambling by purchasing the vacant OnGame network. What? Oh, apparently Shuffle Master make card shuffling machines. Anyway, since forming their unholy union last year, bwin.party have been trying hard to offload their spare network. They’ve finally managed to shift it in a deal worth €19.5 million, plus an extra €10 million if online gambling is legalized in the U.S. within 5 years. [Poker News]

Keeping it Illegal in Asia

China is well on its way to becoming the world’s largest economy and even if gambling isn’t an explicit part of their financial system, it has built itself a huge underground following. Global Betting and Gaming Consultants estimate that illegal gambling in the country is worth $15bn to $18bn. [Intergame Online]

Meanwhile in Indonesia, gambling online means risking a lot more than your bankroll. Under the infamously harsh Sharia law, those caught wagering can be whipped up to 100 times. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Mafia bosses, accustomed to taking a big cut of all illicit gambling in the country, are putting pressure on online sites to shut down their operations. [Gaming Zion]

Phew, that was a big one. I’m going to lie down until next week.

Sexy 888

If there’s one thing that inspires people to get into poker, it’s all the hot babes that you immediately attract, right? That’s what the UK Advertising Standards Agency seem to think anyway, having recently banned a commercial for 888’s new Webcam Poker because the ad suggests a link between gambling and seduction. To be fair to the ASA they are just enforcing the rules, but even the supposedly sexual aspects of this commercial are questionable. Check it out for yourself and see if you think the bikini clad lady qualifies as ‘seductive’. [Card Player]

It’s Chili In Vegas

One-armed bandit creators, Bally Technologies, have announced the acquisition of Chiligaming. Yet another established American gaming company shacking up with a proven off-shore site. Bally claim they are not looking to launch their own client, but will funnel bricks-and-mortar customers onto Chilli once online gambling goes live in Nevada. [Casino City Times]

Around the same time, Chiligaming announced that they were merging their online poker platform with Poker770. [iGaming Business]

African Jewellery 

It makes me a little teary-eyed to think of a WSOP event taking place in Africa. It may well be a hangover from the 2010 World Cup, during which it seemed like the entire continent was immeasurably joyous at the idea of hosting the biggest sporting tournament in the world. For poker fans, the WSOP is equally important and it’s great to see them spreading the love to a part of the world that, it’s fair to say, hasn’t always been sunshine and roses. [WPT Mag]

Ryan Positive On U.S. Poker

Listening to Jim Ryan, CEO of Euro-giants bwin.party, is enough to make a man upbeat. When asked by PokerNews for his thoughts on legal online poker in the States, he said that, “we think it’s a question of when.” This far reaching interview covers a lot of ground, but it’s no surprise to see the piece lead with Ryan’s thoughts on his deal with MGM and Boyd Gaming. So far as bwin.party and U.S. online poker goes, Ryan thinks that launching in 2013 is a “realistic perspective.” [Poker News]

Nonagenarian Grinders

Police in the balmy island of Cyprus take overage gambling very seriously. In 2009, cops busted a dangerous ring of grannies playing small-ball cash games in a lair that also contained “sandwiches” and “pastries”. The gang of illicit ladies, including a 98-year-old, have been requested to appear before a court to hear the charges against them. Here’s hoping the Cypriot legal system can put away these dangerous criminals before they fail to cause any more damage. [AP]

Tune in next week for my new editorial on ‘why all of poker is bad and should never be written about’. Either that or I’ll just do another one of these columns. Haven’t decided yet. Toodle pip!

Here comes the second half of the analogy. Imagine that two gentlemen meet over a game of poker. During the course of the game, they get into a disagreement that results in one player wounding his opponent by means of gunfire. Exciting right? Violence, crime, projectiles! I’m sure you’d be interested in that sort of thing. Hey, and it involves poker too, so that means that we can report it in the poker media. Win win!

But really, does a reader’s desire to learn about this violent crime have anything to do with the fact that it occurred next to an upturned circle of felt? Once again, your interest in the story qua poker is minimal. It’s unlikely that you’ll be asking what the stack sizes were when the shooting took place or whether the man with a bullet in his leg has ever won a WSOP Circuit ring.

At this point it’s fair to ask, ‘so what?’ If a story provides titillation, who cares that it only has a tangential relation to poker? If the audience enjoys it, print it.

There is a problem however and to expose it we can ask for a helping hand from one of the great thinkers of the Enlightenment. Scottish philosopher David Hume argued that we could never truly know when one thing caused another. Instead we could only establish that two events were regularly correlated. We can lay aside his intellectual musings for the moment, but his insight into the human condition is extremely relevant. Hume’s discovery was that when two events happen frequently one after the other it is a natural human tendency to assume that the former plays a part in causing the latter, even if their connection is just coincidence.

In many ways, the press have the power to curate your world view. So far as the poker media are concerned, what we choose to report makes a big difference to what information you absorb. Twitter and Facebook have broken down those barriers to some degree, but a written report from a major poker news outlet still highlights an event in a way that the burbling of social media cannot match. In other words, we can make certain correlations more distinct.

To quote another equally important thinker, “with great power comes great responsibility.” If we choose to regularly report on poker shootings, both ‘poker’ and ‘shooting’ become more commonly correlated in the minds of our readers. The knowledgeable sorts who bookmark Pokerati can see through such illusory causation, but not every site is blessed with such learned readers. The openness of the internet also means that anyone could pick up on a story at any moment, immediately highlighting it in even bolder lettering; adding to the weight of correlation. Not to mention poker’s many enemies, who will leap at the chance to trumpet any bad press they can find.

Let’s leave crime reporting to the crime blogs, except in cases where poker plays a tangible role. Focussing on stories of shootings at poker games adds nothing of interest to the general tapestry of the game and only serves to further denigrate the image of a pastime that is fighting for legal and moral recognition.

I give up. Trying to be cool is hard work. I really did attend the London Fashion Week, but didn’t emerge any better dressed. My main concern was what face you are supposed to pull while watching models strut. I was very much the interloper, so you’ll appreciate that I’m very happy to be back in the warm embrace of poker news. Here, I’ll lay out my news-blanket.

Some People Win Some Tournaments

The UKIPT completed the first event of its third season in Gallway, Ireland. A local lad by the name of Emmett Mullin picked up the €100,000 first place prize. Meanwhile across the sea in Sao Paulo, the LAPT was reaching a conclusion. All eyes were on Daniel Negreanu, as the Canadian rant-monger made his assault on the final table. The bat and ball enthusiast eventually fell in sixth place, allowing German person, Daniele Nestola, to pick up the title. [Poker News Report]

Six Times More Stars

Can you really believe it’s been six years since the first Sunday Million? The weekly mega-tournament seems as ancient as bad beats. Or something even older, like Doyle Brunson. Pokerstars plan to pony up a $6 million guarantee as a birthday present to us all. [Poker News]

Danes Play Fair

One of PokerStars’ old flames, Peter Eastgate, has signed up as a sponsored pro with Betfair. Eastgate famously “retired” from poker in 2010, only to return to the game a year later. He now becomes one of the few WSOP champs with a sponsorship deal that wasn’t penned by PokerStars. Betfair have also bagged fellow Dane, Stefan Raffay, who is most famous for having joined Betfair alongside Peter Eastgate. [Card Player]

Ladies Love to Gamble

Research by clever people in the U.K. has revealed that half the nation’s gamblers are female. On reflection, it doesn’t seem like a very surprising figure. In the pre-digital era, dingy casinos, pub fruit machines, and bookies were the main sources of gambling entertainment in Britain. In such a world, a male bias seems natural, but nowadays ladies can log on from home without having to worry about that creepy guy dribbling onto his betting slip. [Online Casinos]

It would be interesting to see if the number of female poker players has increased in line with overall gambling figures. I’m inclined to think that the game remains predominantly a man’s world, but perhaps that preconception is a little outdated? I’ll cogitate on that and get back to you with some more news next week.

That’s the kind of introduction I’d love to have written, but in reality it’s been a humble week for poker news. To jazz things up, pretend that Daniel Negreanu is preparing a vblog tirade in response to each story.

PokerStars Launch UK App

First up we have PokerStars revealing their evil scheme to greatly increase neck damage among their customers by forcing them to stare down at their newly released mobile app. The software, which supports real money multi-tabling, allows the hordes of pasty-faced grinders to get some sunshine without having to abandon the felt. They could market it as a Vitamin D supplement. [Poker News Report]

Spanish Bullfight

It’s Spain vs. Spain vs. Everyone on the Iberian Peninsula. The Spanish government are so excited about getting their regulated online gambling market up and running they have moved the deadline for license applications forward to March 31st. Not everyone is totally thrilled about the idea, however. Most of the big names have been operating offshore in Spain for years and local operators Codere are very grumpy about it. They’ve started firing out injunctions towards all the sites that were trading in Spain before the new legislation passed. So far they’ve forced Sportingbet to pay €2 million and have been rebuffed in their attempts to stifle PokerStars. [CardPlayer] & [Casino Advisor]

Serbia Plays Hardball

Meanwhile, in Serbia, similar legislative tussles are taking place, but the government have decided to handle all the tussling themselves. The Balkan state passed new online gambling legislation in November requiring licenses, taxes, regulations, and all that good stuff. With a number of big gaming companies yet to sign up to the new system, the government have issued an ultimatum to those who remain off-shore. Names on the list include 888, bwin.party, and Ladbrokes. The choice is simple: sign up for a license in the next six months or get your ISP banned. [Balkans.com]

PokerStars Love EU

Start as you mean to finish. That’s terrible advice, but whatever, it’s back to PokerStars to conclude this week’s roundup. The poker giants did a good job buttering up the Europeans this week with the release of PokerStars.eu. This new front-end for what is essentially the same old service does have a few implications for tax laws in certain countries. Right now, poker players in Sweden and Finland have to pay 50% tax on their winnings from offshore operators. PokerStars.eu is licensed in Malta – a member of the EU which does not charge any taxes on gambling – saving Nordic degenerates a whole heap of cash. Hyvää onnea! [Poker News]

If that snapshot of worldwide poker news wasn’t enough for you, why don’t you stop complaining and do something about it? Go and win a tournament or moon Gus Hansen or something. Off with you.

Poker Loses Again

With Thor Hansen’s cancer diagnosis still ringing in our ears, the poker fraternity has been dealt another crushing blow with the news of Nikolay Evdakov’s untimely demise. The Russian pro is most famous for his endeavours at the 2008 World Series, where he set the record for most cashes in a single WSOP by notching up 10 money finishes. It’s a record that stands as a testimony to his legacy. He is survived by his wife and children. [Gipsy Team]

888 Hit the Jackpot 

Time to draw ourselves out of this funk and poker players only know of one way to salve an aching heart: Cash! Online gambling providers 888 have plenty to go around, having announced a 28% uptick in revenue for Q4 2011. The future looks rosy for 888, thanks to their deal with Caesar’s Entertainment. Through subsidiary Dragonfish, they furnish Caesar’s with the official WSOP online poker site. When Nevada finally gives the go ahead to intrastate online poker, chances are 888’s star will continue to rise. [Guardian]

Missives From a Ringer 

Get on a plane to Macau, find the poker table with the most money on it, squint a bit, and you can pretend that it’s 2006 all over again. Poker’s most famous grinders have been gorging themselves on the action in China’s special administrative region for the past few months. Familiar names like Phil Ivey, Tom Dwan, and Patrik Antonius have all been playing, but have otherwise kept schtum about the game’s details. Not so Gus Hansen, who has been providing daily blog updates on the highs and lows of his multi-million dollar sessions. Yesterday’s entry indicates that – shock! – Hansen has been playing a few too many loose hands, so you might want to get reading before The Great Dane goes busto. [Gus Hansen]

Popstar Becomes a Poker Star 

Hey Americans. Are you aware of laddish popstar Robbie Williams? Back in 2000-ty something he set off for the colonies, hoping to make his fortune, but after becoming addicted to various naughty substances, arrived back on the mainland to rejoin with former cohorts Take That. Now, for the glorious next stage of his career, Robbie has decided to open an online poker site. I expect it to quickly fade into insignificance, but given that it annoyed someone in our nation’s flagship bigotry newspaper, the venture has definitely proven its worth. [Bluff Europe]

I must now return to my eternal vigil. I’ll be back next week, summoning up more poker news than you can possibly handle. Bring a friend.

There we go. Not one paragraph in and I’m already enjoying a new vitality. The chocolate macguffin remains wrapped in its brown paper bag and yet I’ve remembered what it is I love about writing. Sometimes we just need a little encouragement. Well, now that I’ve dealt with that personal crisis, pull yourselves together and lets get on with the news.

The Aussie and the Ivey

Yes, that’s a Christmas pun. So what? I’m recycling. Besides, I’m sure plenty of us media types put a resurgent Phil Ivey in our letters to Santa. After finally emerging from a cash game in Macau hiding, Ivey arrived at the Aussie Millions to play in one of his first major events since Black Friday. As if to make everyone else look like rank amateurs, Ivey waltzed into his most profitable month of tournament poker. After tumbling out of the $100k event, Ivey won his buy-in back by finishing 12th in the Main Event and then grabbed another $2,000,000 for winning the 16-player $250k tournament. Some guy called Oliver Speidel won $1.6m in the Main Event, but his name does not rhyme with ‘cor blimey’ so nobody cared. [Wicked Chops]

The French Channel

The Frenchy bit of Canada and the part of the British Isles closest to France have enshrined a new era of cooperation. The duo have agreed to routinely share information and expertise relating to online gambling regulation. Ontarians don’t have anything to actually regulate yet, but plans are afoot for a province-wide service later this year.

A little to the Southwest of Alderney sits another British Crown Dependency. Back in 2008, Jersey announced that it was providing egaming licenses, just like its little brother Alderney. Their overtures had not attracted any big names until Playtech took the plunge earlier this week. It’s not exactly clear what Playtech will do with their new license, but my guess is that it has something to do with wagering money over the internet. [Gambling Kingz] & [iGaming Business]

Gaming Gongs

“Oh my god! Are you the Galaxy Macau Integrated Resort?! Winner of the 2012 International Gaming Award for Casino/Integrated Resort of the Year? Can I get your autograph?”

That’s the sort of attention the Galaxy Casino is going to have to put up with from now on. Crazy people asking buildings for autographs. Signature hunters will have better luck with Sam Trickett, who was announced as Player of the Year at the European Poker Awards. Other prizes went to Ilari Sahamies, Natalia Nikitina, and Bertrand Grospellier. [European Poker Awards] & [International Gaming Awards]

Poker’s Impending Loss

Finally, something very very sad. Thor Hansen, the doyen of Norwegian poker, has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. A veteran of Vegas casinos, the 64-year-old has two WSOP bracelets to his name and more than a few friends in the poker community. Hansen will long be remembered as pivotal figure in the growth of the European game and an inspiration to the Norway’s new poker generation. [Card Player]

Nothing funny to say after that. See you next week.

Millions of Aussies

Stereotyping Alert! I’m sorry about this. As an Englishman, I am legally required to bring up barbies, funny accents, and convicts any time anything Australian comes with 4 feet of me. It’s a bother, but what can you do. Those British pros down at the Aussie Millions must be having a torrid time, the place is crawling with them. Even the Canadian Daniel Negreanu is obsessed with their the eccentricities.

Thankfully the Aussie Millions Main Event is currently providing an excellent distraction. For example, despite the fact than an antipodean gentleman currently sits atop the Day 2 standings, the world’s loudest nation has been characteristically hogging the limelight. First up, American Dan Smith won the 22-man $100k High Roller event for $1,000,000. Then Phil Ivey, who can make headlines by just turning up, went and put himself second in the chip count at the end of Day 2. [Poker News Report]

Bwin Bust-Up in Porto

Enough of that Southern Hemisphere nonsense, time to head back to Europe. More specifically to Portugal, the land of cocks. Their government has bowed to pressure from local casino operators and decreed that Bwin’s sponsorship of Portuguese football is illegal. The ruling stems from the fact that, as an external operator, bwin.party are subject to no regulations and pay no taxes in Portugal.

Bwin claim that the ruling contravenes EU free-trade laws, but have agreed to acquiesce to the command for now. As lucrative as Portuguese sports sponsorship is, panic may break out if the same idea occurs across the border in Spain. Bwin are the shirt-sponsors of Real Madrid, arguably the most popular soccer team in the world. [Card Player]

Bet Fairly at London 2012

If I leave my flat, wander out on to the street, and look to the North East, I can see the Olympic Stadium glowering above the rooftops. I’ve spent the last two years watching it progress through various stages of construction and with the big event just a few months away, other spheres of Olympic influence are making their final preparations. In the online gambling world, Betfair have teamed up with the International Olympic Committee to monitor suspicious betting activity which might indicate a rigged event. [USA Today]

South Korean Supercasino

The unfurling success story that is Macau is bound to inspire many imitators. First in line are South Korea, who plan to build a $3 billion dollar casino resort right next to their busiest airport. The Incheon International Airport Corp. hopes to shamelessly pray upon frazzled businessmen staggering out of long haul flights, by ushering them into land of flashing lights, comfy beds, and empty wallets. Hey, if it worked for China, it can work for you! [Yahoo]

Team Poker at the Pleasure Beach

And finally, a British city most famous for its tower is hosting a cool team poker event. With backing from lovely poker gent Neil Channing, the Team Poker Tour UK allows Brits to compete in small teams, with the top 3 aggregate squads taking the biggest chunk of the prize pool. It’s worth noting that Dan emailed me to specifically to flag this up and I really can’t figure out why he’s so interested. [Team Poker Tour UK]

I’m going to do my best to stay put from now on, so look forward to your regular dose of Wider World next week. Until then, do whatever the nurse tells you to and everything will be just fine.

France Announces Online Poker Crackdown

It’s a good time to be in European online poker, so long as you’re on the list. France have been running a strictly regulated market since May 2010, but have this month enacted laws which require ISPs to proactively prevent French players from accessing unlicensed sites. This follows similar action taken by the Belgian government. Meanwhile, Spain – one of the big EU countries without a regulated market – has elected to delay its online gambling plans until June 30th. [Poker News]

Duthie Says Cheerio

John Duthie has left PokerStars. You might be thinking, “Who cares about John Duthie! So long as they still have Liv Boeree, it’s all good. She’s so hot, ship it holla check-raise.” Oh you and your staggering ignorance. The wiser heads in the audience will know that Duthie is lauded among the poker community thanks to his founding of the European Poker Tour. John spearheaded the tour to great success, but as part of his resignation, has also decided to step down as EPT CEO. Although he may not be as high profile as some of his former team mates, John is a highly respected member of the industry and you can be sure that the game’s movers and shakers have taken note of his departure. [Poker News Report]

Regal Reward for Betting Queen

The founder of Bet365, Denise Coates, has been named a Commander of the Order of the British Empire in the UK’s New Year’s Honours list. Now that our empire has shrunk to size of a tiny thimble, this title has become a purely symbolic ‘well done’ from the monarchy. For your reference, a CBE is one rank below Knight and Dame-hood in Britain’s chivalric hierarchy. As part of the ceremony, Denise gets to meet the Queen and listen to her say things like, “What do you do?” “Oh that’s nice,” and “I have this special badge for you.” [BBC]

WSOP Bracelet Theives are All In Jail

In Canada, which is mostly empty, four men and one woman will have to locate the Longueuil courthouse. They are summoned to hear charges that include aggravated assault and armed robbery, all accrued while breaking into the home of former World Champion, Jonathan Duhamel. Although their cases are yet to be heard, it seems that the nexus of the robbery may have been Duhamel’s former girlfriend, Bianca Rojas-Latraverse. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. [CTV]

Cheer up mate! Things are looking good for poker after all. I mean, barring some sort of Even Blacker Friday, 2012 has got to be an improvement over last year. If that much-analysed DoJ opinion bears the fruit we’re all desperately hoping it does, perhaps this will prove to be one of the industry’s finest hours. Hope springs eternal.

Peter Eastgate Jumps in a River

We begin in Denmark, with a former WSOP champion once again demonstrating the sort of unhinged character required to succeed at poker’s most toppest level. Despite already earning enough money to cover Phil Ivey’s divorce settlement, Eastgate couldn’t resist putting his health on the line for an extra $6k. His fellow Danish degenerates bet he couldn’t jump into a freezing river, leap out, and then run to the home of fellow pro Kasper Cordes. Once again, however, Eastgate bested all comers (and hypothermia) to complete the challenge in a mere 20 minutes. [Poker Nyhederne]

Joe Hachem Bids Stars Adieu

Just like every WSOP champion since the poker boom erupted, Eastgate is a member of the PokerStars stable of sponsored players. An illustrious club that included Joe Hachem, until he announced his resignation this week. The second post-Moneymaker World Series winner, Hachem is still Australia’s most recognisable player, even if he hasn’t made any major waves since winning a WPT title in 2005. Hachem claims he is leaving in order to, “pursue other career opportunities,” but the spectre of Black Friday is likely to have factored into his decision. [Card Player]

PokerStars Turbo Explosion

If you find long sessions of poker excessively dull, you’re probably already an ardent proponent of turbo tables. With levels that last less time than it’s taken me to type this sentence, players can be in and out of a tournament in minutes. This week, PokerStars announced plans to string a whole bunch of them together into what will undoubtedly be the fastest online poker series in history. The TCOOP is scheduled to run from Jan. 19th – 29th and will feature tournaments with buy-ins and prizes and things. [Poker News]

Legal Danish Gambling in Effect

Having given Peter Eastgate some time to dry off, we’re back to Denmark for our final story of the week. Following in the footsteps of France and Italy, the Danish have activated their new online gaming legislation, which seeks to operate the kind of regulated market that will have U.S. grinders staring lustily across the ocean. After jiggling all their knobs into place, the government have just handed out their first batch of gambling licenses to companies including PokerStars, PKR, and bwin.party. [Gambling Kingz]

Time for me to curl up into a Christmas coma and absorb rich food, presents, and relentless good cheer. I hope you all have a similarly indulgent Christmas and a New Year’s Eve so excellent you are unable to remember all but the barest details. If not, at least have some good luck. Ho, ho, ho!

British people are required to carry similar images on their person at all times. It’s why we’re such a cynical and self-deprecative nation. That concludes today’s sociology lecture, now it’s time for a barrel-full of news you might have missed.

Irish Up The Rake

Our friends on the Emerald Isle have been having a spot of bother with their economy recently. Something to do with a global recession. Regardless, the trickle down effect is increased taxes levied against online gambling. Inbound legislation will raise the money owed on each bet placed. Woe betide any external operators looking to take Irish currency. The duty on each offshore bets is increasing from 0 to 15% in a move that will earn the government €20 million a year. [Gambling Kingz]

Jacko’s Ball

There’s a new leader in the race for Most Ludicrous Idea Ever, thanks to gaming portal OnlineGamblingPal, who recently unveiled plans to turn some of the late Michael Jackson’s hair into a tasteful roulette ball. It’s what the king of pop would have wanted. Honestly, that’s what they think. A public statement claimed that creating a piece of casino paraphernalia, “seems like a fitting use for [the hair].” Right then. [Rolling Stone]

Randy’s Record

Online grinder nanonoko is already a legend among his peers, but the youthful poker whiz has announced plans to take his stardom to new heights by earning an entry in the Guinness Book of World Records. Randy hasn’t decided exactly which feat of endurance he’d like to attempt and is currently taking suggestions from the denizens of 2+2. The best idea will be carried out at the PokerStars Caribbean Adventure in January. [Poker News Daily]

A French Suit

One big downside to a tightly regulated gambling market is that when things go wrong, it’s the government that takes the hit. And there’s nothing people like more than blaming their government for stuff. Take one unnamed French gambling, addict for example. He contacted the Interior Ministry to have himself added to a list of people excluded from online gambling sites, but thanks to a bureaucratic mix-up, the degenerate in question found himself mysteriously unblocked. He is now suing his government for €100,000 ($133,000). [AFP]

What does a gambling addict buy with that kind of money? Maybe a roulette ball made from the fibres of a dead megastar? Perhaps he could build a whole museum of morbid casino equipment. Hey, that gives me an idea. I must dash, I’ve got a plan to make my millions crafting dealer buttons from Charlie Sheen’s discarded toenail clippings. Au revoir!

Brits Can’t Stop Gambling

For now let’s start with some good cheer. UK gambling revenue increased to $4.2 billion during 2010, with bricks-and-mortar accounting for almost two thirds of that figure. Gambling is traditionally a recession resistant industry and in a country with an open – but properly regulated – market that adage appears to ring true. Noted number crunchers PriceWaterhouseCoopers predict that this UK uptick is part of global trend that will see gambling revenues increase 10% per year until 2015. [Independent]

Bodog Anonymous

Last week, Bodog unveiled poker tables which hide your ID from other users. The intention was to protect bumbling recreational gamblers from being stalked by evil grinders and their advanced HUD software. It didn’t work. Hackery hacking guys hacked into the client with their hack machines and hacked the whole thing to pieces. At least that’s what this article from data-miners HH Smith sounds like to me. At the very least, it says makes some important points about the responsibilities companies have to protect the privacy of their customer’s information. [HH Smithy]

Everleaf isn’t for Everyone

Over at the Everleaf Network, they’ve taken a similar dislike to winning players. If you generate too much income one week, expect to be barred from certain tables the next. Users are assigned a rating that accords with how much profit or loss they have recently made. Pass a certain ratings threshold and you’ll be penned into a small area with all the other successful players. And just in case you harboured any hopes of a clueless fish wandering into your sharks-only game, any player attempting to join a high rating table is presented with a pop-up encouraging them to find a seat elsewhere. [Poker Fuse]

Time for Contemplation at the AGCC

Amid the fallout from the collapse of Full Tilt, the Alderney Gambling Control Commission took a lot of heat from irate onlookers. In response to that criticism, Excecutive Director Andre Wilsenach has announced an independent review of the process that lead to revocation of Full Tilt’s operating license. The inquiry will be conducted by Peter Dean, the former chair of the British Gambling Commission and will be all important and official and stuff. [Poker Strategy]

The writing of this roundup has been punctuated by occasional bouts of rage as my football team of choice concede goals against inferior opposition. Quite literally as this sentence is being typed, we’ve pulled a goal back with 3 minutes remaining. Check the tone of next week’s column to discover if we’ve won or lost.

Megabucks in Macau

All eyes turned to the East last week, as the global poker media witnessed the long awaited return of Phil Ivey. Turns out, he’d been there all along, sat in a $1,300/$2,300 cash game chocked full of rich Chinese businessmen. Apparently ‘The Big Game’ has permanently moved continents and if the high rollers are still in town come 2013, they’ll be first in line for a 500 player tournament organized by Macau big wigs. The event, which has the support of local businesses, is mooted to feature an incredible $100 million prize pool. [Poker News]

PokerStars Join Soccer Brawl in Germany

PokerStars has recently joined soccer on the list of things the rest of the world enjoys more than Americans. To commemorate this fact, the world’s largest online poker site have recently announced a sponsorship deal with the German football team, VfB Lübeck. However, this not only a straightforward business arrangement. PokerStars have been vocal supporters of planned gambling legislation introduced by the state of Schleswig-Holstein, in which Lübeck is located. Rules which would fly in the face of those proposed by the German government. [CardPlayer]

Gambling on Facebook coming to the UK

Our final news nugget for today is undoubtedly the shiniest. Social networking megaliths Facebook have made detailed plans to provide real money online gambling in the UK. Soon, the denizens of this sceptred isle will be able to ‘like’ an inane photo of their gurning acquaintances and then stack off their entire bankroll all on the same platform. The likes of 888 are reportedly in talks to acquire a Facebook license, with FB credits being used in place of the pretend dollars we’ve been playing with up until now. [Tech Crunch]

At the end of this column I often say something like, ‘if I’m still here next week’ preceded by a flippant comment about one thing or another, but this time, I’m genuinely concerned for my well being. My fiancée has passed into another hemisphere for two months and there’s a very real chance that in seven days time I will be buried under my own ineptitude. So, if I’m still here next week…

Ivey is Back

Glad to see you’re still with us. We start with the sneakiest news of the week. After seven months spent hiding under a craps table, Phil Ivey quietly arrived in Macau for the Asia Pacific Poker Tour. An event conveniently located 8,000 miles from Ivey’s Room. At time of going to press, Phil held a middling chip stack and had not been attacked by any angry Full Tilt customers. [PokerNews]

IFP Showcase National Talent

Most sensible people will tell you that poker is a game of skill and there are plenty of groups dedicated to propagating that opinion, but they don’t usually organize major poker tournaments. That’s the stratagem of the International Federation of Poker, who this past week curated both the Nations Cup and IFP World Championships. Germany took the plaudits in the team competition, while Spain’s Raul Mestre defeated the enchanting Victoria Coren for the overall title. [IFP]

Online Grinders Fight for Glory

And finally, the bit with the face-kicking in it. Dutchman Lex Veldhuis and French personage Bertrand ‘ElkY’ Grospellier got together over the weekend for some friendly violence. It’s been two years since the duo challenged each other to a kickboxing contest and despite 24 months of build up, the brawl lasted only two rounds. A couple of kicks to ElkY’s bleached hair had him seeing pokerstars. [Wicked Chops]

I don’t know if you caught my hilarious joke in that last sentence. If you didn’t, why not reread the entire article? I recommend taking notes. While you study, I’ll be out hunting news, trying to avoid any stray kicks to the face. If I still have a face this time next week, I’ll see you then.