Dan and Pauly discuss getting over the WSOP hump, and what kind of pressures build on players, backers, media, and just about anyone else who camps out for the duration — providing a glimpse of what weekend WSOP warriors may be stepping into when they fly in for a $1,500 “Donkament”. (Hi Karridy!)

And a special bonus track this week, with Tao of Pokerati’s favorite Angry Frenchman expounding on the caliber of competition in the 1500s while educating Dan and Pauly on life and language at the non-English-only tables.

Episode 12: Going Halfsies

Episode 12.5: Le Donk (feat. Benjo)

Just a fun little flashback … the “final” episode of Beyond the Table talks a little bit about the WPA, and because Tom and I aren’t too sure how to explain what they’re up to, we bring in Fake Karridy to interview Fake Jesse Jones in hopes of shedding light on the matter (about 21 min in - click here to listen/download). Shortly thereafter we obviously had little choice but to pull the plug on BTT and walk away with our heads hung in glorious shame.

UPDATE: Karridy, SitnGo Steve, Ryan, Tom, and Dan are all in town … Karridy is already trying to see how many mikes he can hook up to his iPhone … Tom busted a couple hours ago out of the $10k World Championship of Omaha Hi-Lo, a bit shy of the money.

I swear this isn’t some sort of tribute to Pauly just because his heart recently skipped a few beats and his head may or may not be more messed than usual … his car accident just reminded me: Oh shit! I forgot to post the next podcast … um, I mean are you OK? Need anything? OK … yes, so WSOP … post podcast.

This time Dr.P and I take a leisurely stroll through the Amazon room while discussing bad t-shirts, sunglass technology, and the relationship between Milwaukee’s Best Light, the WSOP, college kids, and Annette_15.

Episode 11: Floorplay

In this installment:

Dan pursues diplomatic ties with the nation of Hungary, why Pauly is the David Hasselhoff of poker blogging, and how it’s so nice to see the French and Germans working the poker beat in Euroharmony.

Episode 10: Eurotarded

Today’s topic is cliche imagery at the WSOP. Frankly I think Pauly and I hardly scratch the surface this go-round … but we do shed some light on old guys using Doyle Brunsony scooters, broke suckers that just won’t go away (and a new dynamic in rail-sweating as everyone looks for their piece of a shrinking poker pie), and, in ‘08, the relative lack of hussies and swag.

Episode 9: Do You See What I See?

Lance Bradley wrote a prescient article in the current issue of Bluff highlighting five online young-guns to watch out for at the 2008 WSOP, and two weeks into it, all of them had cashed and then some. But at the same time, they’ve hardly dominated or taken the Series by storm. In this episode, Pauly attempts to educate me on who’s who when it comes to crossing over from online studliness to WSOP success. Durrr, Gobboboy, Yellowsub, and Good2cu, previously of the shipithollabolla crew, et al.

Episode 8: Online Sharks::WSOP Salmon

Today the good doctor and yours true venture into the new 65-table Brasilia Room … and contemplate what a $2,500 PL Hold’em/Omaha tourney in this new locale may or may not mean for the WSOP, and what it says about the state of the greater Las Vegas economy. Yo … heavy.

Episode 7: Brasilia Time

Today Pauly and I wax poetic with an Ode to NL 2-7 Lowball Single-draw with Rebuys. In doing so, we touch on small big-money fields and what makes for good poker television.

Episode 6: Lowballin’

Shouts out to our loyal, super-longtime listeners, and welcome any new ones. We’re putting these podcitos together in the secret WSOP basement, and if you need to find your favorites to listen to again and again (without the nuisance of all those words and pictures here and on Pauly’s site) you can now bookmark the Tao of Pokerati WSOP podcast archives.

Dan and Pauly head to the Hooker Bar to talk about finding one’s comfort zone at the WSOP.

Episode 5: Long Road

The ladies event is always, um, special. In this episode Pauly and I scope out potential sugarmamas from the remaining $1,000 no-limit hold’em field as the female players fight to get deeper into the money.

Episode 4: Late-Night Piladies

I didn’t get to the Rio until way late yesterday — like 11:30 pm — so you’re getting yesterday’s episode today … which seems strangely appropriate considering in this episode Dr. Pauly and I are watching Vinny Vinh and his ever-encouraging railbirds at and around the final table in the $1,500 limit event from the Milwaukee’s Best Light No-Limit Lounge.

Episode 3: Milwaukee’s Best Vinny

I know lots of you have heard about the game we like to play here in Vegas called “Hooker or Ho?” Really, in this town it’s not always so easy to tell — and in fact, it’s probably the only place where you won’t get insta-slapped for asking a “normal” girl if she’s a prostitute.

Anyhow, there’s a gender-reversed version the ladies can play called “Gay or French?” Keep that in mind as you listen to Benjo the Angry Frenchman and Pauly question my sexuality and/or my WSOP fashion sense.

Episode 2.5: Poker Couture

UPDATE: Leigh in Vegas sends along a pic that provides proof of my ancestry, which is indeed about 1/8th French. Just please don’t tell anybody, OK?

In today’s episode, Dr. Pauly and I witness a well-known poker author/pro checking out some hot dealer ass, as Dan struggles to come to grips with his inner Sklansky.

Episode 2: Dirty Sklanchez

One can only give up podcasting for so long … there’s something about semi-intelligent banter kinda-sorta about poker set to mono.

So please, enjoy the first episode of Tao of Pokerati … featuring Pauly of WSOP poker blogging fame, and yours truly … sharing the insight, wisdom and general frogginess of a Beyond the Table expat.

Episode 1: Game On!

By the way, so far at the WSOP, three separate people have approached me saying, “Are you Pauly?” Each time I’ve chuckled and laughed, because they weren’t even looking at my bald spot for the mistaken identity. Anyhow, shout out to Jenzilla, who was kind enough to deliver my new radio cohost pens.

photo: Jackie Endsley
Putting your last dollar toward a bad-beat jackpot may not have been the best career strategy for this guy.

Audio

I got a call yesterday at the WSOP from the Butler. I haven’t seen the guy for a couple months — not since me and my jiu-jitsu coach and heavy metal teacher got booted out of our sweet pad (pool table, poker table, dart board, 65-inch HDTV, Strip-view bedroom, fireplace/jacuzzi bathroom, no utilities) on the Eastside. We of course knew all was headed south when the Butler — the guy who set the whole housing arrangement up — walked into our casa unannounced to do a cocaine deal, and shortly thereafter got busted by The Boss (who owned the house, in theory, though not on paper) for stealing rent money.

(I met the Butler last year at the WSOP, as he was trying to sell his private concierge services to poker players and convince me to turn him into a recurring character on Pokerati.)

Anyhow, so I got a call from an unknown 973 number yesterday that I answered in the press box. “Hey, Dan, it’s John. Are you at the Series? How’s it going?”

“Um, uh, pretty good? We’re just getting rolling … so what’s up? Did you make it to Kansas City?”

“Yeah, and it’s not good. I’m calling because I need a stake.”

“Yeow, dude … can’t help you out. Wouldn’t know how to get you money if I could.”

“Western Union.”

“Sorry, man Have you tried Tom? His number is 602-97… .”

More…

Here’s the audio of the hour-long media conference call today.

WSOP Media Call 5/1/2008

I didn’t think about pressing my mute button for much of it, so apologies for the heavy breathing/typing/petting. Audio hindsight says I shoulda been giving running commentary. Fortunately Wicked Chops live-blogged it for a witty-but-real take as the teleconf action went down. And CC has a very thorough recap of everything discussed, point-by-point, voice-by-voice.

Craig runs with an interesting hedline, too — deciding added money to the prize pool was the real big news here. It’s an interesting thought — because while you can break down the numbers however, establishing a process for injecting additional funds into the prize pool has gotta be a good thing to start.

The BTT crew: Poker talk fused with gay jokes and fat commentary was all the rage in 2007.

Some of you have been wondering, why no new episodes of Beyond the Table? Tom, Karridy, and I have been wondering the same thing. It’s been a good run, and with drinks in the air, three guys who clearly love/hate the sounds of their own voices are calling it podcast quits.

Back when we started, our show about poker but not really about poker stood out as revolutionary in a sea of lame poker interviewcasts with questionable audio quality. Soon after iPod sales were booming as more and more of the world got hooked on downloading poker audio with funny intros and Angry Julie cameos. But Tom couldn’t handle the celebrity and Karridy developed a crack addiction lives got busy and producers for Beyond the Table fared about as well as drummers for Spinal Tap. The show hired Shamus at a fraction of a Cambodian farmer’s wage to pump up our numbers — did he ever get his T-shirt? — but with a new generation of poker podcasts getting better and stronger (Lou Kreiger, Gary Wise, 2+2, Pocket Fives, Ante Up, Poker Road, et al) old-school payola wasn’t enough to save us from going out on the podcast bubble.

Listen below to a heretofore unpublished episode (recorded on 2-27, my dream flop) as your favorite semi-amateur yammerers phone it in for the last and final-ish time:

Beyond the Table: Fin

Thanks for listening via RSS, iTunes, play-in-popup, and direct download … we already miss ourselves.

You can still prank call Karridy on the Beyond the Table listener line at 888-820-8091.

The band is called Atmosphere. Underground hip-hop from Minneapolis. The album is Strictly Leakage. No joke. And the very pokery mixed-race rap song is “What They Sitting For” (not to be confused with Ice Cube’s “What They Hittin’ Foe”):

Whoa, dude, it speaks to me, man … I never realized AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted was about holding trip-kings.

The poker recessions/squeeze continues to show its reality face … podcast junkies have probably already noticed that Hold’em Radio is down. But is it done? We’ll see. I saw Wade, the HER chief, at Binion’s just yesterday … he was chit-chatting with some people during one of the daily tournaments there … but there was no broadcasting going on, and no signage left up on their studio/booth in the Binion’s poker room.

For all its problems with audio quality, Hold’em Radio was first when it came to giving poker ramblers a home for their voices. Beyond the Table got its start there, as did Lou Krieger’s Keep Flopping Aces. While the BTT crew has been independent for about a year and will presumably stay that way, other passionate podcasters may likely follow in Lou’s footsteps and defect to Rounders Radio. I’ll be personally curious to hear the difference. Because while we’ve enjoyed doing BTT on our own, can’t say that we have fully mastered the audio process yet. Just last week we recorded probably the funniest “Angry Julie” segment in audio history … only we didn’t. I mean the new software said it was recording, but …

Internet radio is hard!

We know that some head-honchos at Absolute Poker cheated at their own game, thereby stealing money from their players. Upon being unequivocally exposed, they have tried to apologize and make right … as if a carjacker who gets caught could also get off the hook by simply saying, “Oops, sorry about that … my bad,” and returning the stolen property.

Yet for some reason, thousands of real-money-players are still in action at Absolute. Hey, I know you! You’re that guy who stole my car! Thanks so much for giving it back. So wow … you’re a valet parker now. OK, here are my keys. But whatever … maybe the numbers have something to do with all the ad dollars being happily accepted by the poker news sites and print publications that supposedly insist on limiting their coverage to “what’s good for poker.”

Sorry, am getting off track. Personal rant against the machine. So yes, Absolute Poker scandal … California Jen has been covering it for Poker Player Newspaper, and she appeared on Lou Krieger’s Keep Flopping Aces last night to discuss developments. I’m listening to it now … and it’s a pretty good show — especially when they get an unexpected call from Chuck Barnett, who you may remember is on the Board of Supervisors for Mohawk Internet Technologies / Kahnawake Territory. He engages Jen and Lou with all sorts of good information on the make-up of the ongoing investigation, a little bit of what they are uncovering, and some insight into who are the true owners of Absolute Poker.

Click here to listen to the show.

“Is it Joe Norton?” Kreiger asks directly at one point. And indeed it is. Apparently Norton is the sole owner of Tokwiro Enterprises, which owns Absolute … and perhaps like Dick Cheney is to Halliburton, Norton is also a former Grand Chief of the Kahnawake Mohawk Territory. To be honest, I’m not sure what all these connections mean … but I’m pretty sure they are not “good for poker.”

Strange. Just listened to the latest episode of Beyond the Table, the first of the new year. If you haven’t queued up “ . . . Who Needs Enemies?” yet, let me forewarn you. The guys talk about poker. That’s right. Poker. I mean like all the way through.

What the hell?

After a brief rundown of the several January tourneys presently ongoing, Tom offers some winning wisdom regarding tourney selection. Then, prompted by a question from Karridy, there follows a smart, insightful discussion about differences between cash game players and tourney players. Yeah, I know. “Smart” and “insightful” usually ain’t what us BTT fans are looking for. But there it is.

Next the trio turn their attention to Dan’s first poker session after moving to Vegas, as well as the rambling, gambling fortunes of Dan’s friend, Bob. The show concludes with a stunner of sorts regarding CardPlayer’s recent 12-page, comprehensive overview of “Poker’s 2007 Odyssey: A Review of the Year’s Historic Events.” (Hint: The article ain’t as comprehensive as one might have hoped.)

Oh, there were opportunities for the hosts to get away from the pokery content. Other topics arise, such as Dan’s sex life, Barack Obama, and froteurism. (Not at the same time. Ahem.) But somehow none of these offered enough turbulence to divert Beyond the Table from its poker-specific flightpath.

Do let the BTT hosts know how you feel about this strange new development by calling the listener line at (888) 820-8091 or emailing theshow(at)beyondthetable(dot)com.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines “diagnosis” as the “determination of the nature of a diseased condition; identification of a disease by careful investigation of its symptoms and history; also, the opinion (formally stated) resulting from such investigation.” Such is the theme of “Card Sick,” this week’s year-ending installment of Beyond the Table.

Co-hosts Karridy, Dan, and Tom collectively look ahead to 2008 by diagnosing one another’s poker games (and/or lives). In so doing, the trio take turns enacting each of the roles typically occurring in yr basic health care scenario — patient, physician, and insurance provider.

For example: Dan spends most of the episode as patient, sharing relevant details about his history and identifying his goals moving forward. Tom acts as Dan’s physician, offering tips for how Dan can improve the health of his bankroll in the coming year. Meanwhile, Karridy explains to Dan the limits of his coverage. Thus when Dan says he’d like to make a final table of a “major event,” Tom assesses the likelihood of such an occurrence (given the patient’s current vital signs), while Karridy reminds Dan he can’t afford to enter that many “major events.” And so forth.

A quiet time of year poker-wise, so not a lot of hard-hitting news in this week’s episode. There is some discussion of the 2008 WSOP schedule, details of which were largely gleaned from Craig Cunningham’s blog. Head over to C.C.’s site for more such info. And perhaps a Christmas carol, too.

And remember you can always send your own diagnoses of BTT (including how new producer Ryan is doing) to
theshow(at)beyondthetable(dot)com and/or call ’em in to (888) 820-8091.

Following a pattern established by arena faves Frampton, Kiss, and Cheap Trick, this episode of Beyond the Table captures the group in a rare live performance. With no edits, overdubs, or other studio gimmickry, “Live and Otherwise” finds BTT returning to its off-the-cuff, improvisational roots.

The set gets going with a raucous medley of blues-based numbers, including soon-to-be-classics “Queens Done Done Me In (Again)” — featuring a solo from Little Tommy Schneider — and the Askenasy-penned “I Think My Hair Has a Mind of Its Own.” The group then transitions into a surprisingly peppy version of “House Hoppin’ Blues” chronicling Dan’s recent move Vegas-ward.

From there the boys turn topical, with rockers “Flight of the Dragon” (noting David Pham’s having locked up Player of the Year), “Enjoying the Game” (an homage to Chip Reese), and “Guilt Trip” (regarding the Vaughn-Mizzi account-purchasing affair). As an encore, the group surprises the audience with a new title, “Fortune’s Steward,” a brief romp recognizing Falstaff, author of PokerStage and tireless organizer of the recent WPBT Winter Gathering.

Be sure to catch this important live document of the power trio’s development, circa late-2007. And be sure to email your feedback to theshow(at)beyondthetable(dot)com and/or call the listener line @ (888) 820-8091.

I recall a short while back reading Tom Schneider opine at length here on Pokerati about tourney blind structures. In a memorable post, Tom suggested an innovative arrangement wherein the blinds would go up in proportion to the number of players remaining (or average chip stack — same diff.), as opposed to having timed levels. For those who missed it, here’s the post, modestly titled “The Blind Structure Solution.”

Whether you think Tom is full of applesauce or not, his idea clearly demonstrates how the hosts of Beyond the Table are willing — indeed, eager — to think outside the box, to push the envelope, to destroy old paradigms . . . .

You know. Screw with us.

Which is why we get not one but two new shows almost simultaneously. Though one isn’t a “real” show. That’s right. The one on which Tom, Karridy, and Dan all appear — titled “BTS: The Cheating Beating” — should not be mistaken for a regular installment. (BTS = “Beyond the Show.”) Listen to hear the trio’s sober debate on ethics and online poker. (Full summary here.)

Meanwhile, we are to understand the one featuring Dan and guest co-host Robert Goldfarb — “Booty Call” — to be a “real” episode. What makes one “real” and one not? Hard to say, although it appears we’ve got ourselves an indisputably authentic BTT show whenever Dan gets drinky and starts talking about strippers, Scotty Nguyen bobblehead dolls, yard sales, religion, Tom’s POY chances, and/or hits his mute button.

Don’t trust me, though. Go listen to both and decide for yourself. And tell ’em what you think — about blind structures, strippers, “reality,” etc. — by emailing theshow(at)beyondthetable(dot)com and/or calling the listener line — (888) 820-8091.

Interesting news on Bluff Magazine deciding to remove “BluffMagCV” from its masthead. Tom, Karridy, and I had a vigorous discussion on such matters just yesterday, after recording an episode of Beyond the Table.

Click below to hear some stuff from the cutting room floor: Tom Schneider declares the Chris Vaughn-Imper1um offenses minor, Dan calls for Ethics, Rules, and Regulation (ERR?), Karridy admits to past indiscretions not having seen Caddyshack (!) … and all of us beat a dead horse intelligently debate the severity of online cheating in the contemporary poker era.

In the course of it all — about 36 minutes in — we also specifically happen to address what probably should happen to the Bluff Managing Editor … as well as the guys from Absolute Poker — but how? A little more wonky than usual Beyond the Table fare … but theoretically worth the listen:

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recorded: 12/9/07

ALT HED: Karridy & Colmes

Via our friend, Short-Stacked Shamus:…

In “Family Pot,” our intrepid trio (sans SitNGo Steve, who for this episode stood up and went) carefully interweave a number of anecdotes and observations thematically linked by the subject of family. Recorded Thanksgiving eve, discussion begins with a detailed cataloguing of various family traditions, most of which seem to involve tableware. While the phrase “somebody gets stabbed and there is rolling on the floor” is uttered, the overall tone here is in fact light-hearted. Jovial, even.

The conversational tête-à-tête-à-tête then turns to consider non-traditional “families.” Such as the one comprised of all of those poker bloggers presently assembling in Vegas for the big WPBT Winter Gathering. Concerning which, do head over to Tao of Poker and check out Dr. Pauly’s instructional post “Bloggers Invading Vegas Tips 5.0” (from 11/19/07). Add to list “never call a ‘post’ a ‘blog’ when speaking to Dan.” Not that any self-respecting poker blogger would. The tone during this middle section? Vaguely combative.

Finally, looking ahead to Christmas and the new year, the group collectively resolves to make some resolutions. And perhaps write them down somewhere. Here the tone becomes sentimental — even maudlin — as Tom, Dan, and Karridy demonstrate they, too, form a kind of “family.”

Maybe they should consider sending out cards this year.

Check out this week’s show. And ride the BTT hosts’ coattails along with me by emailing them at theshow(at)beyondthetable(dot)com and/or calling the listener line: (888) 820-8091.

You can read Shamus’ real poker musings over at Hard-Boiled Poker. Thanks, Shammy-Poo.

Via our friend, Short-Stacked Shamus:…

Have had a significant increase in email messages turning up in the ol’ inbox here lately. To what should I attribute my sudden surge in popularity? I think the answer is obvious. My occasional postings over here at Beyond the Table have no doubt spread my fame to places I had never even imagined possible.

I mean I am getting email messages from people I don’t even know, if you can believe that. Just this week I’ve gotten several offers to “find ways to save on [my] meds,” to “eat want [I] want and still lose those terrible pounds,” to “cure premature ejaculation (not just stop it!),” to “give [my] partner the loving she deserves,” to “experience for [my]self the excitement of winning real money online,” and to “become completely happy with the way [my] breasts look.”

Somewhere in there I also received a note from Karridy saying something about a new show, titled “The Fall of Danang.” No special offers, though. Which is fine, as I have plenty of those to deal with at the moment . . . .

Check out this week’s show. And ride the BTT hosts’ coattails along with me by emailing them at theshow(at)beyondthetable(dot)com and/or calling the listener line: (888) 820-8091.

There’s even more wit where that came from, over at Hard-Boiled Poker. Thanks, Shama-lama-ding-dong.

Sorry about the lack of fresh content — poker hasn’t stopped happening or anything, I’m just busy on other stuff. In the meantime, to hold you over, you can enjoy a “new” episode of Beyond the Table — one we found on our desk under a whole bunch of papers.

FYI, another episode is up … for those of you who haven’t yet subscribed or synced your iPods. In this episode, our favorite non-bracelet-wearing cruiser-stakes pro sits in for Tom.

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• Robert G drinks the BTT Kool-Aid.
• WSOP scheduling, the Houston poker bust and felony charges, an Illinois amateur poker crackdown, Charles Nesson as the Timothy O’Leary of Poker.
• Gratuitous pimping: Up for Poker and the PokerStars Blogger Championship.
• Action junkies and Karridy’s online sit-n-go multitabling master plan — big screens and upside-down calculator words.
• Tom goes to Spain in search of plaques and CardPlayer points.
• Karridy hits the Stockyards in search of family values and professional online poker dreams.
• The Fort Worth police vs. Beyond the Table.
• Dan tries to take credit for bringing the Mob into Texas poker.

This post is not for 99.997 percent of the readers out there.

But for the guys in the Batface home game … they might find it hardly surprising to know that on Sept. 12 — or right around that day — “sangy farha” started playing (for play money) on Full Tilt. That was the same day of the tournament on Absolute Poker that has since thrown the online poker world into a tizzy. The hand being played that sparked it all: Yep, you guessed it … 9-2 offsuit, aka The Sang, which we all know is kinda like the hammer, only a little bit more powerful.

Because of his connection to the scandal, Drinky Sang may or may not be making future appearances on Beyond the Table as our strategy and psychology correspondent. Click below to listen to Sang’s screen test, recorded on a drive home from The Lodge in a pouring rainstorm.

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You’ll hear him talk a little final table strategy, discount his monster play-money bankroll online, threaten to kill people, lose his online chat priveliges, question the presence of Tom Schneider’s genitalia, threaten to kill the guys at Ante Up, and fall in love with a wet puppy.

So be sure to tune in to current and future episodes.

Check it out … Beyond the Table has a new distribution partner in CardPlayer, where we’re putting up some special episodes for the US Poker Bowl. And, of course, you can always hear the latest semi-regular, never relevant jimjabber from Tom, Dan, and Karridy (and SnG Steve!) — aka the 2nd Greatest Podcast in the History of the Internet — here.

LAS VEGAS–You can’t seem to go anywhere pokery in this town these days without people talking about Absolute. It’s not the only thing on their minds, of course, but everyone seems to have a take on the online cheating scandal — and often an additional story about less-than-ethical operations at AP.

Perhaps the most damning I’ve heard comes from a reliable source with insider connections to the disgraced online poker site: Remember the popcorn for sale at the WSOP? Absolute Poker had pretty girls peddling bags for $1, with all money supposedly going to “Children’s Hospital.” That promotion reportedly raised $10,000 … but the donations never made it to the charity. Yeow. If that’s true — and it’s certainly checkable — well, let’s just say if a company is willing to steal/neglect such a relatively small amount, then what else is possible?

I caught up with Mark Seif yesterday at the Poker Bowl, being held at the Palms, where the the Absolute minority owner and spokes-pro was wearing a navy blue shirt commemorating a charity tournament that helped fallen officers. Giving his first voice-to-voice interview since the scandal broke, Seif tells Pokerati where things stand in his mind. He also answers a question about how believable AP’s current explanation about a rogue employee is, denies his own involvement in any form of cheating whatsoever, and talks a little bit about what this all means for the future of online poker and his future with Absolute. Oh, and most shocking to me — wish I had followed up on this — he also says that despite the hubbub, AP currently has more players playing online than usual.

Not sure how that can happen, but click below to hear Mark Seif on whether or not his company is destined to become the Enron of Poker:

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The listeners have spoken, and it’s official:

16 percent of all poker podcast fans prefer Beyond the Table!*

Woot!

Click for the latest episode of the second-best poker podcast ever!

Or download via Door #2 here.

Extra-fun times this week:

• A show about nothing and where Tom puts his fingers.
• Sal the old man loads up his iPod.
• Dan on “What’s Goin’ On?” in the poker world — EPT London, Jose Canseco, and Absolute super-users.
• The BTT gang ventures back to the online felt.
• Monkey noises with Fake Hevad Khan; Fake Humberto Brenes loves Beyond the Table; and Tom goes hip-hop — calls for death in the name of etiquette.
• Karridy calls for more dead presidents on TV, fewer Full Tilt pros.
• No seat for Karridy in a big-little $5/$10 game.
• Bonus monkey noises from Tom.

* Poker podcast poll results

A new-special episode of Beyond the Table is up. Click here to listen in a pop-up. And here to download in a less fancy but fast-forward-friendly way.

On this episode, Tom, Karridy, and I break our “we don’t do no non-fake interviews” premise to talk with John Nightingale and Layne Flack about the forthcoming U.S. Poker Bowl. (Yikes, it’s right around the corner.)

Lots of tough North Texas players (Gregg Merkow and Tex Barch, for example) will be competing in this controversial televised team poker collusion fest, along with some big-name pros … including Phil Hellmuth, Todd Brunson, Vanessa Rousso, Scott Fischman, ZeeJustin Bonomo, Mike Matusow, Victor Ramdin, Clonie Gowen, Chris Ferguson, and many others. Doyle Brunson, Daniel Negreanu, and some (influential) old-dog purists, however, aren’t too happy about the whole team concept, contending it promotes cheating.

Oh, and don’t laugh … but while Karridy will be managing at least one team, Tom Schneider and I will be the TV commentators for this inaugural event meaning I’ve got about a week-and-a-half to figure out how to do TV what I’m going to wear. Fortunately Lacey Jones will be there to make up for Tom’s lack of professionalism/qualifications. Sit’n'Go Steve may or may not be there to serve as fluffer.

The latest episode of Beyond the Table is up. Click to listen. In this week’s festive podcast, you’ll hear:

• Dan misses a meeting … too many responsibilities.
• Karridy on the Mathematics of PokerBowl.
• Update on the Karridy vs. Big Robert music video challenge.
• Tom heads out to the California State Poker Championship.
• The resurgent popularity of douchebags?
• Dan runnin’ bad and old men rollin’ bad in Oklahoma.
• BTT improvements.
• Who is Annette_15 and why wasn’t the WSOP Player of the Year at WSOP-Europe?

And if you missed it last week, click here for the Tom Schneider episode of Ante Up! Lots of real content on this show — too much to list, but you will delight in a German guy’s inquiring about Tom’s fondness for the Hammer and the most fascinating recount of a 7-stud Hi-Lo hand I’ve ever heard.

Poker and Pete Sessions now go hand-in-hand as the six-term Republican signs on to champion poker-player interests.

Congress is bucking up for a new legislative season — in a presidential election year, no less — and our representatives have to make calculated principled educated decisions about which bills to stand behind. On Monday, Rep. Pete Sessions (R-TX) signed on to cosponsor HR 2610, aka the Wexler bill or Skill Game Protection Act, which would effectively remove poker (along with bridge, chess, backgammon, and mah jongg) from the aegis of the UIGEA.

Sessions is the second Republican to align himself with this bill, and he promises to lend more than just his signature to the poker cause. “If we decide to get in this thing, it’s not because we’re [just] gonna use my name,” Sessions explained, “we’re doin’ it to get it done. Otherwise it’s like a warm bucket of spit — it’s no good.”

Congressman Pete Sessions (far left, pictorially, not politically) listens to PPA executive director John Pappas, addiction specialist Dr. John Talmadge, DC lobbyist Chris Giblin, and poker pro Clonie Gowen as they try to explain the bipartisan concept of fish.

This was a real opportunity to inform an influential congressman in greater detail about the horrors impact of the UIGEA and plea for emergency humanitarian aid a federal bailout sensible government intervention. It also provided a privileged glimpse into how our system really works and a chance to see the new leadership of the PPA in action … But yeesh, 9 am is a little early, no?!?

More…

I swear Tom and I have not been cheating on each other or Karridy. We just have a sort-of open relationship … the kind where we want to share our aural pleasures with whoever-da-fug will listen all the world. So this week, as in tomorrow, Tom will be appearing on Ante Up! … the other high-quality poker podcast out there. I’m serious — these guys totally don’t suck and are a delight to subscribe to via iTunes.

Meanwhile, I have branched out into the non-poker world — a place where “holding the nuts” has a whole different meaning. Some of you may not know that before converting to poker, I used to advise the readers of Cosmo on what guys are thinking. Funny, I know … and my apologies to all the messed up chicks out there as a result. But regardless, like Frank Constanza going back into the kitchen, I have dusted off those old skills to speak to the ladies of D/FW on Girl Talk. If only Leah’s listeners understood the concept of positive EV!

Just a little something to hold you over until the next episode(s) of Beyond the Table.

New episode of Beyond the Table is up.

Click here to listen.

On this week’s episode:

• The Arizona State Poker Championship
• Fake Karridy interviewing Fake Doyle Brunson
• Tom goes to Wyoming to golf with drunken naked old men
• Other poker pros opt for Doyle Brunson & Dewey Tomko High Stakes Golf
• Dan comes to Phoenix for intense poker training
• Dan loses his bankroll
• The grow-your-money:lose-your-money time ratio in poker
• Going almost-broke with Brad Booth, Brian Townsend, et al.
• Bankroll management: How to avoid losing $3 million
• Fake Karridy interviewing Fake Brian Townsend
• The Education of a Poker Player: Plunge the Toilet
• Public pooping etiquette and mad plunging skills
• The problem with satisfying your sexual desires at the poker table

Again, obviously, if you haven’t already … click here to audio it up. Or here to get your podcast on and keep it that way.

And as always, feel free to call 888-820-8091 — or email — to let us know what you think of the show, the people on it, and our topics for expostulation. There’s even talk of an “Oops I Won too Much Money” hat for someone.

For now, here’s a picture of Tom in a bathrobe:

More…

The latest and greatest episode of Beyond the Table is up. Learn how Tom acquired his new nickname (will it stick?), listen to Dan’s excellent “Man on the Street” interviews - Does anyone know who the WSOP POY Tom Schneider is? How happy was the Main Event Bubble Boy about being prodded interviewed by Dan? Is Dan Coming back to Dallas ever again - and do we care? All that and much, much more… Listen Now!

New episode of Beyond the Table is up. Best poker podcast ever recorded on Day 2 of the 2007 WSOP main event — especially when Tom’s wife (shout out Julie!) gets on the air and screams at all things poker media. Click, and enjoy.