Jeesh, everything’s so serious these days … or stupid. Either way, it’s been too long since we forgot to tell you about the latest from The Micros. It really was a funny episode a month ago. But like always, lol because it’s true!

And we have a bonus late episode — the Micros’ pitch for people to vote for them in the 2011 Bluff Readers Choice Awards, where Rose, Chase, and Tommy somehow got lumped in with all the podcast/video/live radio newsy shows (in the category The Poker Beat always dominated) and cleaned up.

Enjoy, if you haven’t already.

I had plans for my first post of 2012 to write about my new year’s resolution, which was to find more purpose in what I’m doing for a living … quite the challenge when your work day consists of picking out tourists to relieve of their vacation cash so you can pay your bills for another month.

Crushed, beaten, annihilated, squelched, wrecked … you feel helpless and empty and start questioning what you’re doing with your life and why you’re wasting so much money.

A new year is supposed to be a time when everyone is feeling the most hopeful and positive and have the brightest outlook on what the next 12 months may hold. I try to put a positive spin on everything and especially the things I write on twitter and in this blog with an audience in mind. I’m sure there are some people who take joy in other people’s down times because it makes them feel better about their own situation. But I just think it’s a better EV play to try and inspire people rather than give them something to wallow in.

I wish I could follow my own advice, but today I don’t see how.

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I’m sure Jamie Gold and Las Vegas will eventually become friends. I for one have a whole new respect for the WSOP-champ in Residence @TropLVPoker after hearing his interview on Donkdown; and philosophically, he’s trying to bring some of the same things to the Tropicana that the Pokerati Game tries to bring to the Palms. But still …

source: @RobertGoldfarb

Really … $1k an hour? I mean that’s not quite Carrot Top money, and supposedly Gold’s already had five students pony up … but jeesh … you’d think at that rate they could at least afford a nicer sign!

Additional Resources

• [video] Eliot Spitzer hooker money
• [video] Wall Street Journal on $1,000/hr attorneys
• Richest comedians/Carrot Top net worth

La Sengphet took down another one on the WSOP-circuit — winning a $345 NLH at the Bicycle Casino in Bell Gardens, Calif. for her fourth WSOP-C victory (third in a ring-bearing event) and a $25k payday. Her other half, David Clark, made a final table the day before, and won his second ring just a couple stops earlier at WSOP-Tahoe. Their story is becoming sickeningly charming … perhaps even inspirational … showing that true love and poker success can go hand-in-hand for a couple of old-fashioned rounders making their way across an ever-unpredictable poker landscape.

(That, or … Go Team Pokerati!)

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Say what you will about Full Tilt Poker, but you can’t deny that they played a key role in forever changing the nature of poker entertainment. Even post-Black Friday they continue to do so … only instead of bankrolling the creative efforts, now they merely inspire them (whether all lines are deserved or not):

Song: Full Tilt Poker Blues
Artist: The Donks
Genre: Blues
Release: Sep 2011

Check it out … poker movies seem to be proliferating ever since revelations of crime and darkness made the game semi-dramatic once again. This one, Ace High — not to be confused with the 1968 western of the same name nor the PBR bull that remains unridden after 90+ attempts — seems to be about a privileged extra-smart kid whose online poker success brings in backers … but not before he gets in too deep (presumably with people shadier than he realized) … where he’s sure to lose his hot college romance if he doesn’t win the big one (not to be confused with The Big One for One Drop, which screams for straight-to-DVD release).

No spoiler intended … Just guessing at the plot-line from the Ace High trailer, which is fairly good-lookin’ for an indie movie still seeking funding to complete. Wonder how PokerStars got the product placement … and which online pros may or may not make any on-screen appearances … and whether or not players would have legal rights use of the likeness of their online poker avatars or even screen names:

It’s been a few weeks since my last post but the grinding hasn’t stopped. Well, actually I didn’t play much at all over the Thanksgiving weekend as I spent the holiday in Palm Springs with some family. Here are some photos!

I went into a bit of a breakeven stretch over the following four sessions. I have only myself to blame for this because I failed to use any sort of anti-jinx methodology. For example, say you send a tweet talking about how hard you’re crushing a game or how amazing you’ve been running at the tables. I usually don’t like to write such tweets because over 50 percent of the time they carry the jinx-virus, which will abruptly halt any and all rungood and stop it dead in its tracks. That being said, it is possible to tweet such thoughts to the twittersphere, but it would be foolish to do so without using anti-jinx protection. You’re simply putting yourself and your bankroll at risk without strapping on a hashtag along the lines of #plsdontjinxitkthx at the end of your happy tweets.

I don’t know why we call the poker gods, Gods, but we do. They seem more like a bunch of high school dropout, weird uncle, goofball idiots to me. When they abandon you, it is the filthiest, loneliest feeling you can imagine. But when they reflect their light on you for any kind of extended stretch, you feel, well, enlightened. Chosen. So in tune with everything you can hear the hum of the earth.

I somehow managed to sneak a $117 victory past the jinx-bouncers playing $1/$3NL at the Rio on the 1st of the month. But the next day when I ventured into the Palace of Caesar, his games of $1 and $3 were not so kind. I left @CLVPoker $400 lighter in the pocket, and followed that with a small $85 loss on the 3rd. My spirits were quickly risen on the very next day, which was a Thursday. Thursday evenings, as you should know by now, means Pokerati game night. The PLO/NL mixed game has treated me really well since its incarnation @PalmsPokerRm (#nojinxnojinxnojinx) and this particular Thursday brought happiness in the form of a $520 win, erasing losses from the previous two sessions. Unfortunately the breakeven stretch continued another day; on Friday I played a long, 10-hour session at the Rio dropping about $700 in frustrating fashion. Actually there was a pretty interesting hand from said session…

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It was the other Black Friday … I mean Cyber-Monday … er, Merry Christmas / Happy Hannukah! Whatever the day, here’s Pokerati’s guide to some rather unique poker player shopping specials that we are pretty sure are still valid … though the last readily available but still legally questionable space chips will probably be in the hands of an Asian whale before the end of the day.

CHIP UP: Plaque Attack

American players don’t only miss out on online play, but they seldom get to use the larger, squared “plaques” used for extra-high-denomination chips. But now they can play like a Euro-shark in their home games while taking their chip-shuffling skills to a new level.

Use promo code “pokeratigo” at Outplay Poker for a discount on your purchase.

RUN-GOOD: The Micros, Clothiers

It’s becoming common knowledge that players showing up to tournaments big and small have been going deep while dressed as their favorite online poker cartoon character. Just recently poker media yeoman Jay Newnum took down a double-stack turbo tournament at the Commerce Hold’em Series, and then followed that up by winning a table share of the progressive bad beat jackpot Live at The Bike (seat 6) … while wearing his now-lucky shirt. New Micros designs are a sure-hit with the kids, too!

Get yours from The Micros Online Store.

WTF? Burmese Wooly Space Chips

Made from slices of solid meteorite that fell to Earth some 800,000 WSOP’s ago, these poker chips are so hot they’re illegal in the US, and expected to fetch HK$1 million at auction later today. (No prob with the gold, diamonds, or emeralds that encircle each chip, but because the rubies come from Burma, importing the set would be a crime.) The case is hand-stitched Swedish calf skin with reindeer suede lining and 18K white gold hinges and locks. But even more outrageous, included is a set of ivory dice made from … we shit you not … wooly mammoth tusks. Apparently a species can’t be endangered when it’s already extinct — but auctioneers do warn that some customs agents in some countries might not have Googled around enough to realize that prehistoric pachyderm is real, and all the rage.

More details at JamesList about the auction at Christie’s later today.

SELL-OFF: Full Tilt Swag

If diamond-crusted Kryptonite tournament chips are a bit out of your range, head over to eBay for what may or may not become collectible memorabilia from a defunct poker site. For sale are plenty of poker chips, a steel watch ($1.01 minimum bid, $3.99 to buy-it-now), a black velour bathrobe (new, never worn), travel mugs, keychain bottle openers and more. Whether it’s general distaste for FTP or out-of-work red pros trying to scratch up some cash, a lot of great junk promotional gear branded with the ubiquitous red triangle of Full Tilt Poker is on eBay these days at bargain-basement prices.

Get the most Full Tilt stock you can at eBay.

Annie Duke is offering her fans a taste of high-stakes professional poker with a fantasy camp connected to the upcoming Epic Poker event at the Palms Casino Resort on December 10. More than just the usual boot camp, this package includes hands-on training and entry into an Epic Super Satellite. Attendees also get a signed copy of her book, Decide to Play Great Poker, two nights at the Palms (with buffet) and sundry Epic Poker gear, including a hoodie and hat, none of which, by the way, is up for sale yet on Ebay.

Escape for a poker weekend with Annie Duke; better than half price with Living Social.

If you just saw it on the street, you might not know it had anything to do with poker. But indeed, according to 2+2 NVG, this fine Nevada license plate is attached to nearly $100k worth of Beamer, a 650i, that Ben Lamb recently purchased:

Would be much cooler if the “1″ represented a bracelet, and he got a new car for every one he won. But oh well, sometimes third place and $4 million will have to do.

ALT HED: Germans Win Again

Oh, and almost forgot to post … here’s Pauly and I on scene doing some Tao of Pokerati during the moment from the final 3 with him that we’ll all remember:

Tao of Pokerati: First Hand Fireworks FTW? by Pokerati

Every “professional” poker player has some sort of a story as to how they found themselves with that job title. A lot of kids on the scene nowadays spent the majority of their free time in college grinding online and getting really good… so good that they didn’t see much point in getting a job working for somebody else, and naturally continued to grind after they left school. You hear about other people who had jobs they lost, and then turned to poker, a field that is always accepting new applicants without any need to update your resume or buy a tie for interviews. And there are those who had jobs, some good, but always unfulfilling compared to the allure of being your own boss and the thrill of using your wits to earn a cash payment every day on your own terms.

Life as a professional poker player has been a massive learning experience, of which the strategy and theory is only a small part of the process. You have to learn how to LIVE as a poker player …

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pics: WSOP.com

This heads-up battle stands to be one of the great ones. But it’s more than just a few million bucks difference and a bracelet on the line. The whole future of poker style could hang in the balance of a single river card. Will Martin Staszko, the workman-styled Czech-raiser, beat Pius Heinz and end the hoodie trend among online poker Deutschebags?

Nov. Nine – Heads-up Outfits (Ep 9) by taopokerati

It’s been heads-up for almost three hours between Martin Staszko and Pius Heinz. Dan and Pauly discuss their outfits and lack of patches. They also decide to pick sides. Pauly is backing Heinz, while Dan is sticking with Staszko.

Oh, and Dan is perplexed when he realizes that he is dressed identically to Pauly.

Swear we’re not gonna make this whole thing about poker in Belize or even Belizean poker in Las Vegas … hopefully we’ll be done with this post before the November Nine gets down to the final 3.

But it just turns out that 6th place finisher, Badih BouNahra, aka “Bob”, brought a rather unique element not just to the 2011 WSOP main event final table, but to poker. Beyond being the oldest guy to go single-digit-finish/seven-figure-payout deep, and more than just bringing a rowdy uniformed crowd that kinda makes him the Dennis Phillips of Belize … still gotta factcheck, but pretty sure he is the first and only November Niner to receive support from a national government.

Here’s a quick “interview” I did with Jose Manuel Heredia, Jr., Belize’s Minister of Tourism, Civil Aviation, and Culture, on what one poker player’s WSOP success means for his country.

(Belize just turned 30 years old … something that seven of the November Niners can’t yet say.)

WSOP according to Belizean Minister of Tourism by Pokerati

And here’s a YouTube video BouNahra did for his government and the website he’s promoting on ESPN, www.travelbelize.org.

And, here’s a Tao of Pokerati on the impact of Belizeans, as felt by WSOP sports bettors in Nevada:

Dan and Pauly chat about the first three eliminations at the final table, including Belize Bob. His 200 supporters kept the atmosphere festive. They also bet heavily on Bob at the Rio’s sports book, which drove down his odds from 12/1 to 6/1.

Nov. Nine – Betting on Belize (Ep 3) by taopokerati

Sometime during this year I decided I wanted to add more tournaments to my poker diet.  I’ve been a cash game grinder for my entire poker-playing career and don’t really have anything to speak of in regards to big tourney scores.  My “official” tourney resume is pretty weak.  That being said, I think every high-volume tournament pro wishes they crushed at cash games, and I think that every cash game grinder wants that feeling that only a tournament victory can bring: the combination of the big pay day combined with being the last man or woman standing at the end of the day (or day 2, 3, 4, what have you).  It very well could be my ego projecting my perceived thoughts onto the rest of the poker-playing community, but why would you not want to be well rounded in your profession and have multiple skill sets?

I’ve torched a lot of money being irresponsible … Vegas definitely has a way of seeping into any crack in your guard wall and blowing it wide open.

If you think that low stakes live poker games tend to be pretty soft, you should check out some of the tournament series that are running this month and next around Vegas.  You’ll see things that will make your head shake and leave you feeling good about the future of poker and its draw to the casual players.  However, these are tournaments we’re talking about, which means you’re a bit handcuffed in regards to how much manipulation of tourists you’ll be able to partake in compared to the cash games.  The structures for a lot of the events are pretty good, but variance is still a bitch.  I won’t go into detail about some of the ridiculous beats I’ve taken over the past week to send me on a walk of shame toward valet.  I’m gonna keep plugging away though with a healthy mix of the series, and cash games when there isn’t an event to my liking.

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The Duke of Fremont, that colorful, uniquely Vegassy character who likes to buy in to 1/2 games with no max and sit behind stacks of $100k in bills (which he carries around downtown in a violin case) returns to the felt for a tourney at the Golden Nugget this Friday — raising money for the Clark County Museum Guild, a non-profit philanthropic group dedicated to preserving Las Vegas culture.

The event comes with the Duke fully recovered from multiple broken bones and flesh wounds suffered in a violent robbery in August 2010. The trial against his accused assailants was supposed to start this week — just down the street from the Nugget — but was delayed on Monday.

Who: The Duke of Fremont presents “Pinstripes & Polka Dots”
What: $100 NLH (w $20 rebuys)
When: Friday, Oct 28, 6pm (red carpet cocktails begin at 5pm)
Where: Golden Nugget, Downtown Las Vegas
Why: Fundraiser for Clark County Museum Guild

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Full Tilt laid off some 200 people on the Pocket Kings staff in Dublin last week — leaving pretty much just the head honchos, who apparently believe that ole Chris Ferguson bit about “a chip and a chair” too much and somehow still think they can salvage the company something.

Sucks for the Dubliners, but for the rest of us, that means 200 or more employees with insight into FTP operations over in Ireland, no real reason to necessarily protect certain information anymore, and access to 2+2.

Sure enough, at least two former employees from two different departments are posting away and answering questions. Check it out … worth the skim.

Nothing earth-shattering (yet … gotta figure anyone with the uber-goody dirt probably would go to the DOJ requesting immunity before turning informant) but the virtual deposition one former employee goes through provides plenty of color to paint a decent picture of what life was like in the middle of a corporate collapse … not to mention how the nouvea-poker-riche behave without the cash (and TV shows) that previously formed the foundation of their power.

For example, I learned:

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