2011 WSOP – Episode 16: Brickless Cash Games Reprise (3:22) – Dan and Pauly recorded a quick follow-up to their previous episode while they hang out on the rail of the high-stakes cash games. They spot Eskimo Clark, “Cowboy”, and other broke dicks lingering around seeking handouts from the high rollers.

For more episodes, visit the Tao of Pokerati archives or subscribe to the Tao of Pokerati feed.

Pauly published yesterday, and even though we’ve got a fancy autofeeder here at Pokerati, I did not … but LOL(ish) … this episode was next in the queue:

2011 WSOP – Episode 8: Eskimo Yes, Jesus No (4:22) – Dan and Pauly try to pinpoint which pros are noticeably absent (Clonie, Jesus, Howard Lederer), while Eskimo Clark sightings have been rampant. They also try to figure out where the old Bat Beat Bar and Lounge went and why its been replaced by a oxygen bar.

For more episodes, visit the Tao of Pokerati archives.

Gold is currently selling for $1,390 an ounce, just short of what Eskimo would need for his next WSOP buy-in.

I’m back in action because I thought I was going to be up this morning spending my Pokerati paycheck on an Eskimo Clark bracelet — there’s one for sale on Ebay right now, in an auction that closes in about an hour. But holy meltdown, they’re up to 15 bids already, from six different bidders, and $4,050! That’s already more than TJ Cloutier got for his pawned-off WSOP hardware nearly a year ago, and puts Eskimo’s jewels way out of my league unless someone wants to give me a raise by infinity. Can you say, “Going once, going twice … going in your pants at the table?”

The auction closes today at 10 am PT.Get in before this “pre-owned” 1999 $1,500 Razz beauty is gone. (Replace the word Razz with “Dodge Neon” and that’s what my last boyfriend used to say to initiate foreplay.)

I knew I had no chance of scoring Peter Eastgate’s bracelet on eBay last week. His newer model fetched a whopping $147,500 after Interpoker got into a bidding war with Tony G, who made a play for the limelight by blog-bragging about plans to buy it for a collar for his dog. Inter stepped in to thwart him from making a “mockery” of the WSOP, but I’m not sure which is worse – seeing a WSOP bracelet on a dog or seeing it on eBay. But with the prize going to anonymous bidder “7***l”, it did raise a lot of money for UNICEF.

And check it out, Eastgate’s not done hawking his WSOP main event booty yet. Little Petey’s now got his “2008 WSOP Final Table Corum timepiece” for sale. The seller is “petereastgate” himself, making his first ever eBay posting. Asking price: $7,000. Money from that auction will go to UNICEF, too, but so far it has 0 bidders and closes on Friday.

Maybe I’ll use what I thought I’d spend on Eskimo to buy a couple Peter Eastgate 8x10s.

Four EPT winners walk into a bar …

Eastgate ups the ante for promising poker quitters like Carter Phillips, who says he’s 95 percent sure he’s done with poker after being robbed of €4,000 at EPT Barcelona. The defending champion claims he was attacked by Zorro … but this machete-wielding lunatic wasn’t like the one at EPT Berlin. Phillips was with three other up-and-coming big-money pros — Kevin Stani (winner EPT-Tallin), Kayvan Payman (final table EPT-London) and William Reynolds (winner PCA High Roller) — when they supposedly got pickpocketed at a “hookah bar” (that sounds Spanish for “hooker bar”) then ambushed by a man with a frying pan?

Phillips was the only one there with a WSOP bracelet (2010 $1,500 NLH 6-max) to pawn off if he’s serious about quitting. We all know he’s bluffing, but when the 21-year-old does decide to man up, drop balls, and get back in the game, it will be a long time before we hear him ask for a chopped pot.

So while I’m still here with nothing to bid on …

Happy-sappy crap

Bryan Micon posted on Facebook over the Thanksgiving holiday: “Let it be known: I have married my beloved Martha.” Inspiring, really. A guy who has made a career out of posting peens on the internet gets married for the SECOND time. Related: In an effort to improve my love life, I am now accepting pics of random wood.

Gavin Smith made himself a baby — with whom, I’ll find out, but right now I know he calls her “Moomy” and she’s not me. After the birth a couple weeks ago, proud poker papa tweeted, “7lbs 2oz, 20 inches long and quite well endowed if I may say so myself.” Let’s hope Micon doesn’t get a picture of that before the kid gets a million twitter followers.

Mike Matusow has a new girlfriend. Annie LePage, some Las Vegas PETA chick that Dan can’t shut up about. Let’s face it – Mike Matusow isn’t the sexiest player alive, but I’d take my chances with someone nicknamed “The Mouth”, too. It became official with giddy girltalk about meeting his parents and then a change in Facebook status that I know crushed our Pokerati in Chief. Hey, cheer up, toots. I’m sure Matusow will fuck this up before long. And you can do better with ME and my… um… yeah, nevermind.

No FAIR! I’ve got three!

And finally, once again proving that he’s constantly got male genitals on his mind, Daniel Negreanu paid some dude to get a ‘Loves Cock’ tattoo. Yup, $1,000 was the price happily paid by Kid Poker to see Dominic Mattucci declare his fondness for eating meat. Jeez… wish I’d have known about this before I got mine.

(And even if it’s totally made up, I’m sure there’s a funny joke in here somewhere … and Sam and Eskimo can consider it a public service graciously provided by Pokerati to let them know what kinda trash people may or may not be saying.)

So supposedly, just a few days ago, Sam Grizzle and Eskimo Clark were in the indoor bathroom outside the Amazon Room taking a leak during a break. Eskimo apparently asked Sam how he was doing, and vice versa … both grunted.

Then Eskimo asked, “You wanna trade 10 percent in this event?” (I believe it was a $1,500 NL) and Sam apparently agreed, saying, “Sure, why not?”

Sam then washed his hands and left, at which point another player said to Eskimo, “Hey Paul, did you just swap with Sam on the $1,500? He just busted out 10 minutes ago!”

At which point Eskimo responded, “That’s OK. I never even registered.”

[Rimshot!]

You know me, I want to lambast and ridicule any Tom Schneider endeavor — because that’s how we show our friends we care — but gotta say, this is pretty damn good. Very different:

According to Eric Ulis, the host of this in-development show, the current poker-on-TV offerings are a bit “stuffy” … and that’s where they supposedly come in — to talk about the poker news of the day in a different way. It’s all part of a derivative of Ulis’ Continental Poker Championship, and the plan is to film it regularly with this crew of Arizona high stakes pros — Tom Schneider, Hooman Nikzad, and Jesse McGinty — at the Gila River Casino Wild Horse Pass, just outside of Phoenix.

Considering that Texas poker players helped build the third-largest friggin’ casino in the world (literally under a tent in Thackerville, OK) we can take some pleasure in knowing a bunch of Texans kicked butt in The River tourney this weekend and will be sending back home some riches made in El Norte.

WinStar reportedly threw in a $580,000 overlay to make their $3 million guarantee. Not sure about the buy-in details — I think they upped it to $2k? — nor overall results. The best “coverage” has come via 2+2 here, mixed in with some Facebook, Twitter, and direct txt msg buzz. (Thanks KevMath and Harris, as always, for the info!)

1,210 players overall.

The winner: Bobby Hempkins, aka “Shooter” in the Dallas poker boom days. (And now your source for residential real estate in the North Texas area.) $710k win. Nice!

5th place finisher Brian @ZBTHorton provided regular updates from the final table, such as:

8 left, these people suck (4pm)

Apparently tax issues may or may not have complicated chop discussions — though sounds to me that the Chickasaw nation is under similar corporate-legal restrictions as the WSOP.

7th place reportedly went to a guy named Lance. Paid $95k. Sounds like a nice prize distribution (at the final table, at least). Not too flat, not too steep.

Blind structure was supposedly relatively fast, however.

Pros who made the trek for this event included: Clonie Gowen, TJ Cloutier, Michael Mizrachi, Eric Mizrachi, Kido Pham, Terrence Chan, Michael Binger, Men the Master, Allen Kessler, and Dmitri Nobles. The real @EskimoClark was also supposedly milling around.

pic: @EWeE420

Mike Matusow getting ready to lose it (via Annie Duke):

And of course we know how our buddy Tom is doing (0-for-14) … so he decided to booze it up for the $2,500 Razz. “It can’t really make me do worse,” he said, before giving most of his stack to Eskimo Clark en route to going bust:

Yeah. Uh-huh. That’s gotta be what it is … it’s clearly not possible that the deadest money on the table is someone who thinks they’re playing their A-game but isn’t compared to everyone else. In an effort to get a semi-retired Pokerati blogger and my best pro pal to consider shifting gears, I sent him the net-results rankings for everyone who has played in the 2009 WSOP under the Team Pokerati banner:

1. Gregg Merkow
2. Cliff Fisher
3. Robert Goldfarb
4. John Harris
5. Julie Schneider
6. Pat Poels
7. Shoegal
8. Tom Schneider

I then reminded him that the guy who picked him to be on his ESPN Fantasy Team (Gary Wise) is in dead last place. (Ha ha.)

You get the gist. The numbers don’t lie repeatedly. So while “playing some of the best poker of my life!” … not only is the DonkeyBomber something like 0-for-13 in cashing in tournaments, but also he hasn’t even made a Day 2. So before he finds himself trying to trade jewelry with Eskimo Clark for a satellite buy-in, he has decided to change his game says he will no longer be twittering until he bags chips for the first time in the 2009 WSOP. Good gameplan.

Click here to see the beginnings of a first-half WSOP fail regaled in increments of 140 characters or less. We’ll see if Tom returns with a vengeance or if his twitter account, along with his poker career, fades into oblivion.

We found little … other than that he is still alive and kickin’ hustlin’ for backers in Reno.

Anyhow, a couple days ago, your ToP hosts camped out in the hallway between the Amazon Room, the Satellite Room, and the Payout Cage to discuss some hallway wheelin’ and dealin’, and end up in our own negotiation over a sliver of the action in $50k HORSE; the fine line between Layne Flack’s life coach and Eskimo Clark’s backer, too. Yep, Tao of Pokerati serves up lots for you to chew on in three minutes … but hopefully is giving you a good taste of the real WSOP.

Episode 14: Stakehouse

They are so near the bubble in the $2k NL event — 102 players left. Tulsa is sitting comfortably below average with about 32k in chips (avg. is 50something). He’s playing so tight it’s sick. Little veins quietly pulsating on his bald dome.

I just got chased out of the playing area for the first time — something about that 13-table rule. Though I question its validity, I chose not to make a stink of it at this time and retreated. Will leave the shooting-your-face-to-spite-your-nose to Gonz.

Meanwhile Troy (Darling) is playing $10/$25 PLO at the Rio with Eskimo Clark. Batface is currently up more than $10k. Latest text: “quads again.”

UPDATE: The bubble has burst, and Eric Celeste (Tulsa) has survived. So has Brasilian media sweetheart Miradu … who was down to 1.5 big blinds.

UPDATE: They’re on break. Tulsa’s got 33k in chips … makes him pretty close to a short stack, but not terribly desperately so. We’ll try to keep you posted via Citizen Stack Reporter (beta), but are running into some Blackberry proper

Meanwhile, Darling has very few chips left on the 10/25 PLO cash table … not because he is losing, but because he has pretty much only stacks of 100s in front of him. 30ish k, it seems.

UPDATE: Tulsa has pooed and feels much better. He’s guaranteed a net +$3,381. Final table would be about $45k, and the winner will bank half a mil.

The two final tables yesterday have been covered enough here so on to the day 2 action. The $5,000 NL Holdem final table is now set for this afternoon under the ESPN360 cameras shortly after 2pm.

Seat 1: Anders Henriksson 311,000
Seat 2: Jacobo Fernandez 848,000
Seat 3: Rajesh Vohra 1,040,000
Seat 4: Ben Sprengers 441,000
Seat 5: Adam Geyer 645,000
Seat 6: Scott Freeman 423,000
Seat 7: Scott Seiver 2,512,000
Seat 8: Chuck Sklar 439,000
Seat 9: Dave Seidman 653,000

More after the jump:

At 3pm, play resumes for the final 16 of the $3,000 HORSE event (Tom Schneider finished in 20th). Plenty of familiar faces remain at these two tables. They’re set up like this:

Table 40

Seat 1: Mickey Appleman 57,500
Seat 2: Hoyt Corkins 220,000
Seat 3: Eric Froehlich 118,000
Seat 4: Paul Zimbler 79,000
Seat 5: Jared Davis 322,500
Seat 6: Jennifer Harman 249,500
Seat 7: Mallory Smith 49,500
Seat 8: JJ Hazen 43,500

Table 41:

Seat 1: Steve Zolotow 144,500
Seat 2: Doug Ganger 245,500
Seat 3: Marcel Luske 350,000
Seat 4: David Levi 36,000
Seat 5: Blair Rodman 161,500
Seat 6: Todd Brunson 124,000
Seat 7: Rostislav Tsodikov 99,000
Seat 8: Jens Voertmann 184,500

The $2,000 NL Holdem event finished the day with 136 moving on to day 2. Dustin Dirksen is the day 1 chip leader. Other chip counts can be found over at The Hendon Mob, home of the best tournament database around.

The $2,500 Pot Limit Holdem/Pot Limit Omaha tournament (and the Brasilia room) made their debuts yesterday with a starting field of 457 down to 85. Stephen McKinney was the Day 1 chip leader, others can be found here.

The two tournaments should each have their own levels of frustration. At noon, the $10,000 NL Holdem Headsup World Championship starts, with a field of 256 expected. Last year, there was controversy as a field of 392 put up $5,000 to participate which would create several people receiving a bye to the second round. This year, they’ve planned to cap the field at 256, we’ll see how that works for the tournament staff.

The 5pm tournament is the $1,500 Razz Event begins, and those who’ve played that game for any period of time knows how it can put just about anyone on tilt. Last year Katja Thater won at a final table that featured Eskimo Clark stroking out in an attempt to get out of getting out of whatever financial hole he was in. Hopefully no one will be that desperate this time around.

Tom is was the chip leader in the $2k Omaha Hi-Lo. That’s pretty cool.

UPDATE: Tom is out. Not cool.

And that limit event he busted out of yesterday … Erick Lindgren just missed the final table, which is now set with some interesting players, including Teddy Munroe, Ali Eslami, and Vinny Vinh. (Teddy and I go way back — last year I’d be typing outside and “The Iceman” would fill me in on the $100-$200 cash action while taking a piss on the tournament tent air conditioners. “Makin’ money, baby!” he’d say before shaking himself dry and heading back to the table.)

Even the $10k 7-Stud World Championship is getting interesting … with Doyle still alive and both Bob and Maureen Feduniak with the potential to become the first ever husband-wife presumably non-collusive team at the final table. Never mind. Since typing this, all the above-mentioned have been eliminated.

I learned about this 7-Stud shape-up from the a WSOP-TV vid. And though I tend to detest any lack of imbeddability, I gotta say I like a lot of what this ESPN/WSOP/Bluff (?) crew has got going here. For example, Harmonie Krieger does a basic feature video interview set on the different jobs people come to the WSOP from. Nice enough, right? — but very real when one of the guys she talks with is Jay Columbo, who ran the legendary Mayfair and Playstation poker clubs in New York City, legally questionable status notwithstanding.

And then, perhaps most shocking to me, I enjoyed Jean-Robert Bellande’s “Surviving the WSOP” — where the young, aspiring Eskimo Clark chronicles his ups and downs at the World Series while his video-podcast editors comment Pop-up Video-style — follow along as he hustles high-rollers for buy-ins.

Even learned something from Phil Ivey’s less exciting V-log … and that is that he’s playing so many big-field, low-buy-in donkfests because he has a lot of side action pending on whether or not he’ll win a bracelet this year. We’ll see if we can’t find out more about this.

Speaking of donkfests, the Ladies Event has already lost 2/3 of its starting field, and of those still remaining, at least three of them are Pokerati MySpace friends: Lacey Jones, Kathy Liebert, and Mandy Baker are looking strong and pretty much representing the spectrum of all that is good about women. Go girls! I mean chicks … er babes .. uh bitches?

UPDATE: Lacey is nursing a short stack. Poker Roadie Amanda Leatherman has come on strong, however, and picked up the aggressive pace. Michele Lewis, Tiffany Michele, and PokerNews editrix Haley Hintze are all out.

In the meantime, primarily because it is awesomely embeddable, check out the debut episode of The Degenerate Report, from Neverwin Poker:

Eskimo Freezes
Paul “Eskimo” Clark was feeling pretty good about his hand on an Omaha board reading {K-?} {5-?} {6-?} {Q-?} — he was holding {A-?} {2-?} {7-?} {8-?} for the nut low draw and an up-and-down straight draw. But a cruel deuce on the river counterfeited his low, made him absolutely no straights, and his opponent scooped the pot. Horrified, Eskimo stared down at his cards for a while, unable to speak or move. This can be a harsh game sometimes.

Remind anyone of the mini-strokes he had last year? The time he collapsed at the table? The time paramedics had to come to the floor of the Amazon Room to check on Eskimo, but he refused to be taken out of the tournament?

When someone reports that the guy is unable to move or speak, ya gotta wonder if this is a bad sign. I’m sure Harrah’s has the paramedics on speed dial about now.

Take a little gander at Pauly’s Day 6 post called 2008 WSOP Day 6: Melting Eskimo’s Igloo and Erick Lindgren Wins First Bracelet. (The part about Lindgren’s bracelet is cool, but the Eskimo part is pertinent to this post. Focus, people.)

The Amazon Room was empty except for the ESPN crew setting up the stage, Harrah’s employees finalizing the set-up of the room, and a few cash game players wandering in. The Rio seemed to be trying to get the cash game players to the Amazon Room before they close the casino poker room for the WSOP.

The satellites were getting going around noon in their separate room (where the poker kitchen and media room were in 2007), and a handful of players were sauntering in. Greg Raymer was roaming around the hallways, already being stopped by the few tourists who walked down to see if the WSOP had begun.

While the poker kitchen itself wasn’t open for business, I could see that it is in a building where the poker tent was in 2007. It seems like a much sturdier structure than that tent – more like a shed, a really large shed. Don’t know what’s on the menu, though, since it was closed. BUT, there are numerous other food options set up at different points in the hallways. Besides the full bar (yum!), there was a Pizza Hut stand that offered its signature pizzas, along with salads, sandwiches, and fruit bowls. Directly across was a Java Coast coffee stand with a Krispy Kreme donut oven ($2 per donut!).

Best of all, there was a huge sign for a sushi and noodle kitchen! Set-up is not complete, but the thought of having some great sushi available makes this Cali girl quite happy.

It seems that the Harrah’s/WSOP folks have listened to space and food complaints and made some very positive steps in the right direction. Good times and food ahead!

(On the way to the car, Eskimo Clark was on his way in – alive and kickin’ and presumably lookin’ for backers! Some things never change…)

So here’s an interesting question: Of the tens of millions of poker players worldwide, how many do you think have netted $100k+ at the tables for three years in a row?

Phil Hellmuth has made another final table. Albeit, it’s a ten-handed final table rather than the normal nine-handed. How will this work Lance?
Thor Hansen ,who has been cashing like a mofo, introduced me to Norway Poker Pro Tore Lagerborgo in the hallway moments ago.

The World Championship $5,000 Heads-Up NL Hold’em event finally has cards in the air. Pros playing are David Williams, JC Tran, Jen Harman playing Ted Forrest, Freddie Deeb against Daniel Negreanu and a match between Clonie and Amir (like Madonna vs. Bono, no last names needed).

From Bodog Beat:

Paul “Eskimo” Clark collapsed at an earlier event while in the heat out in the “poker sauna”. The incident was attributed mostly to poor health triggered by the conditions in the tent. However, today in the air-conditioned Amazon Room during the $1,500 Razz event, the same convulsions put him on the floor again. Twice.

After both episodes (one of which involved Clark County Fire and Rescue), Eskimo was helped back into his chair to keep playing pursuant to his request to do so (he actually was gripping the bumper of the table, not wanting to leave). At the time, poker players around him were visibly upset at the decision to let him continue, but at time of publish he seems cognizant and well – although no one is sure for how long he will remain so. Whatever the issues are, he is also playing a mean game of Razz. He is currently second in chips with only 12 players remaining. Hopefully, he will remain well enough to play in the final table tomorrow.

When I walked up on it all, paramedics were making their way through the Amazon Room to tend to Eskimo, who had just suffered his second collapse of the day (third of the Series). With play temporarily suspended, players and fans were texting fiercely and making calls, presumably about more than just chip counts. “I don’t know why,” said one rubbernecker on the rail. “He just started twitching and shaking.”

Meanwhile, floor supervisors were keeping an eye on the tournament area as people got moved back. They were discussing rules and plans as it pertained to handling his chips. “That’s what we’ve gotta do. But still call Jack, he needs to know.”

It wasn’t mayhem per se. But there clearly was a frantic buzz inside the ropes. Rio security and Clark County medical were all professional and methodical as they moved (through) the masses. So were the dealers and tourney staff charged with protecting both players and chips. It’s times like these — with both money and actual lives on the line — that certain people’s jobs really matter, no?

At least a few folks in the media believe that, I know. And not to make it about media coverage — because really, it’s not, or at least it shouldn’t be. But there were those who were clearly aware that something newsworthy was happening and kicking into gear while others, just like old times, were physically trying to stand in our way. I suppose the difference is between those who see the WSOP as a public sporting event, and those who see it as a casino marketing event. If I coulda taken any picture, it would’ve been of a wife taking a souvenir photo of her smiling husband posing with a gracious Jennifer Harman, as Paul “Eskimo” Clark lay on the ground semi-conscious (but in the money!) about 12 feet away.

For different unofficial perspectives, check out Wicked Chops and The Poker Biz.

So not to be crass — because of course we hope he is recovering, as surely plenty of players who have fronted him do, too — but what happens to a player’s chips in this situation? Clark had about 4,275 when the apparent stroke happened. So when it was clear he would not be back anytime soon, floor staff removed his original 4,000 chips from play, and then anted off the remaining 275, so the table would not be at a disadvantage. Word is that the WSOP also refunded his buy-in.