Now the makers of “The First Argyle Pants for Men in the World!” are expanding into poker, looking to brighten a game where a typical player’s fashion proclivities lean toward drab hoodies, dark ball caps, and Vitamin D deficiencies. Representing the new Loudmouth Poker … none other than Team Pokerati captain Tom Schneider, who will be wearing his new 97 percent cotton, 3 percent spandex duds during the WSOP.

The occasional WSOP star joins Loudmouth’s team of representatives, which includes golfer John Daly, professional long driver Bobby Wilson, rock legend Alice Cooper, and NFL Super Bowl QB Jim McMahon.

“Loudmouth has been looking at a variety of expansion directions such as skiing, skating, tennis, kids, etc.,” says Larry Jackson, CEO of Loudmouth Golf. “With the opportunity to connect with poker players and fans through our Loudmouth friend Tom Schneider at the WSOP, we all saw the opportunity immediately. The WSOP and poker in general is filled with a variety of interesting characters and that is fertile ground for Loudmouth.”

It’s generally good to see new, non-poker entities getting into poker, especially when they’re snazzing up, not scuzzing up the WSOP. Where would we be, after all, without Jack Link’s Beef Jerky, Milwaukee’s Best Light, Mr. Peanut, or Levitra in our world?

Before and After: Loudmouth pants may spruce up Tom’s WSOP wardrobe, but will they spruce up his game?

Says Schneider of his newly sponsored style: “I’ve always dreamed of being a fashion model since I was a little girl. Now, thanks to Loudmouth, that dream has been realized. I just hope I can win a few more bracelets to go with my pants so I can serve as an inspiration to non-descript 50-year-old suburban men everywhere.”

Ha ha, nice, Tom. And while we like to give the 2007 WSOP Player of the Year a little guff for being the best player whose game no one respects as much as he does … at least now with his Loudmouth pants on, the DonkeyBomber can lay claim to being the Norwegian Curling Team of Poker.

Still, before golf officially decided to go the degen route — or perhaps in preparation for it? — Golf Magazine ran a feature in their November issue about Phil Hellmuth, Layne Flack, Erick Lindgren, and Gavin Smith hitting the Las Vegas links, apparently foreshadowing the concept of risking big-big bucks on every hole:

Golf Magazine feature on High Stakes Poker Players Golfing

I didn’t plan on it, but at the moment I’m following a Las Vegas golf match between @barrygreenstein and @RealKidPoker. Pathetic, I know … surely there’s something better to stare at on this here wall. But I’m semi-intrigued … first, by how they’re golfing and how they’re betting it; and 2 — think how funny these two guys must look twittering down the fairways. It’s extra funny on twitter, too, because Greenstein’s avatar is him in a Robin Hood costume.

Strange new world?

Negreanu says he’s playing the best 9 he has in months.

Hmm, all this time I thought …

Padraig Harrington, brother not-the-brother of poker-great Dan Harrington, won the British Open yesterday at Royal Birkdale in Scotland. Congrats, distant-cousin (several times removed) to poker! That’s two-in-a-row at the British Open for Harrington — making him the first European to repeat in more than 100 years. Wow.

Meanwhile, a lot of people have finally read and are talking about the more pokery Harrington’s new(ish) back-to-back cash game books. Supposedly they’re great — that’s what everynone’s saying. I’m starting to wonder if one of the reasons I’m doing so poorly in golf tournaments these days isn’t because I’m one of the few players who hasn’t read his Iliad on tournament play yet.

Evidently, there is a televised golf game today. I know this because the TV screen that typically shows chip counts was just showing golf. Not only that, but there was a massive crowd gathered around the screen. More people were watching golf than gathered to watch the NBA Lakers/Celtic game the other night.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, cheers erupted throughout the Amazon Room. Evidently, Tiger Woods made a putt. And though half of the crowd dissipated after the big whoop-tee-doo, many stayed behind to watch the replay of the ball inching toward the hole and sinking. One of the tournament directors even came over the loudspeaker to announce that Tiger advanced to the next round of something-or-other.

I knew golf was popular – and gaining popularity with poker players – but this was an interesting scene to watch.

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Here’s an article about the WSOG in USA Today. What I find most fascinating are the comments it has gotten — comments not by staunchly pro- or anti-poker people … but by run-o-the-mill Americans who have a slight interest in reading a not-so-prominent article about a quirky variant of golf. They give a lot of insight into the challenges that poker faces in the future (on TV and otherwise):

fredlander wrote: 3d 6h ago
These two non sports go hand in hand. I would call this a perfect combination for fat, out of shape people who can’t play a real sport. Throw in race car driving which is great entertainment for brain dead people and you have the perfect trifecta for all the millions of fat, out of shape americans. Bon appetite!

Indeedy. And the success of Nascar and Jeffrey Pollack’s connection to it give hope. I actually thought bass fishing was going to take off on TV once they introduced the “hook cams” … but apparently it hasn’t yet.

Dave S Texas wrote: 3d 7h ago
Golf and gambling go back to the days when the game was invented. Why network television intends to glorify this bogus ‘golf’ event is beyond my comprehension. I recorded the event last year. After watching about 15 min of it, I deleted it. Bad amatuers playing bad golf. Pathetic.

Hmm … we’ll have to talk later about their plans for next year to include some non-amateur action.

BobLee wrote: 4d 1h ago
Congress should appoint a Senate Sub-Committee to study “poker”. Appoint Henry Waxman to head this one too ….. he frightens children.

You tell’em, Bob. Actually, there’s a bill kinda like that pending.

disgustedpatriot wrote: 4d 1h ago
Poker is not a sport!! It is a vice! Why poker is now on the sporting pages and on ESPN and other networks is beyond me. What is next? Binge drinking contests? Or how about reality prostitution shows? Whoops….forgot, that is already on MTV!!

Yeow, how did they know? Apparently the World Series of Beer Pong is a little ahead of its time. Interestingly enough, Doyle Brunson competed in the WSOG last year but not this year. Yet he did find time to compete in the WSOBP — seen here after pounding (literally) multiple beers:

And who says that doesn’t make for good television drama when in the inaugural event saw Todd Brunson beat his dad:

Last year, you could make a $1,000 charitable donation for access to a VIP Players lounge across the hall from the Amazon Room. Inside was a pool table, putting green (where Phil Ivey $5,000 putts became a semi-regular occurrence) and food catered by Del Frisco’s. Oh, and free booze, too, I think. Yum. So this year, Pauly and I were gonna pony up the G. After all, we spend nearly a thousand bucks on food being at the Rio for 6+ weeks anyhow, so why not do it in a feel-good, tax-deductible way that would provide extra-comfortable seating, superior meals, and super-premium access to top players shooting the poker and non-poker shizznit … off-the-cuff but plausibly on-the-record while the rest of the media is locked down in the media kennel being fed terrible $8 hamburgers and occasional free sandwiches that lose their flavor after about Day 2.

Alas …

Informed sources tell us plans for the 2008 “V-VIP lounge” are still being finalized, but based on feedback from last year’s VIPs (those who got in before lounge access was sold out) that it wasn’t as exclusive a getaway as they had hoped for, this year the price of admission will be a $7,500 contribution to the Nevada Cancer Institute. Supposedly the whole experience will be much more high-end. Not sure yet about what that entails, but the big-dollar pros can at least be confident that it won’t include a couple of bloggers sitting with them drunk and shirtless begging for autographs.

Hi Dan,

I have an idea for a sports bet and since you are my connection to the world of gambling I thought you could give me some help on who and how to place it.

I want to place a $500 bet on Tiger Woods breaking the record for the most majors won. He currently has 13 and needs 6 more to break the record. I want to bet $500 on him breaking the record within the next 8 and 10 majors. Who could I contact to get the odds and place the bet with. Please let me know what you can find out or where I can go to make the bet. Thanks

GoodChuck

Chuck, thanks for writing in. I’m not much of a sports-bettor, so I don’t know this stuff intimately. However, I have walked through a lot of sports books recently, and they definitely are offering pages of just Tiger Woods-related bets. BTW, I think if you send me an email, wire me some money via PayPal, and I make the bet, that’s a crime. Not positive … nor sure where the crime would be committed if I happened to relay some information about your betting options, and then I happened to make a bet in the amount of, say, $500, and then next time we saw each other you gave me a “gift” of $500 … but at least one Las Vegas policeman didn’t buy my “Sorry-sorry, I’m from out of town” explanation when I ran through a red no-turn light a couple weeks ago.

I did notice that at Mandalay Bay, where they definitely had Tiger Woods-specific betting lines, they apparently take mail-in bets. I also know that the Las Vegas Hilton (which also has pay-by-mail) and the Palms have two of the more creative bookmakers in town. So those two places are probably good for lookin’-up, too.

Click here to listen.

On this week’s episode:

• The Arizona State Poker Championship
• Fake Karridy interviewing Fake Doyle Brunson
• Tom goes to Wyoming to golf with drunken naked old men
• Other poker pros opt for Doyle Brunson & Dewey Tomko High Stakes Golf
• Dan comes to Phoenix for intense poker training
• Dan loses his bankroll
• The grow-your-money:lose-your-money time ratio in poker
• Going almost-broke with Brad Booth, Brian Townsend, et al.
• Bankroll management: How to avoid losing $3 million
• Fake Karridy interviewing Fake Brian Townsend
• The Education of a Poker Player: Plunge the Toilet
• Public pooping etiquette and mad plunging skills
• The problem with satisfying your sexual desires at the poker table

Again, obviously, if you haven’t already … click here to audio it up. Or here to get your podcast on and keep it that way.

And as always, feel free to call 888-820-8091 — or email — to let us know what you think of the show, the people on it, and our topics for expostulation. There’s even talk of an “Oops I Won too Much Money” hat for someone.

For now, here’s a picture of Tom in a bathrobe:

Yesterday’s $1,500 No Limit event had some RECORD ATTENDANCE – with 3,151 runners.

ERICK LINDGREN was not one of them … after winning his $340k golf bet:

All the other official tournament coverage for today here. I think somebody’s gonna win.

OK, gotta bolt … and play my historic-venue freeroll ass off.

Golf

Poker

Both are pretty good, no? Perhaps they were made by the same company? Either way, I gotta think one was inspired by the other — and it’s pretty cool if the golf biz (and a state intertwined with it) sees a similarity between the duffers and donkeys one might want to reach.

UPDATE: Oooh, try watching them at the same time — audio on and everything. Fun!

Each player buys in for $10,000. On the first hole each player antes $100. After each player hits their first shot, there is a round of no-limit betting. Each player can call raise or fold. Then, the players that did not fold hit their next shots and there is a new round of betting. Antes double every 3 holes. When someone accumulates all of the chips, they win. There are a few other minor rules, but they’re not important for this post.

Let me first start by saying that this event was a pleasant surprise at every corner. No expense was spared in the treatment of the players, the quality of the parties and food (free beer, they must have called mom), the marketing materials and the media exposure — you’ll get to see some of it next month on NBC, and more of it on the Golf Channel.

I played in a foursome on the first day and went to hole 18 before I beat out Pat Arthur from Texas. He’s one nice guy and an incredible golfer. I then played in a 3-some the next day and went to hole 19 before being eliminated. Before you see it on NBC, June 23rd and 24th, let me say it now very loudly and clearly, I AM THE BIGGEST CHOKER ON THE PLANET. There, now when you guys say it, it won’t hurt so badly.

Why will people want to watch non-pro golfers? They are betting huge sums of money and then having to perform in a sport in which they have never been under this kind of pressure. You will be surprised at how well people rise to the occasion and low they will go into the depths of failure. I experienced both. I had a couple of very important shots, and all I could think about is, “How do you play golf? Why did I eat pizza for breakfast? Wait a minute I didn’t eat pizza. I like Phoenix, it’s fun there, but dry. Dan sure is gay at times. Karridy has a sexy voice. I guess I should swing now that my thoughts are clear.” Trying to be politically correct, I am a mental short person. Funny, I think it’s more offensive that way than saying I’m a mental midget. Oh well, here comes the worst shot I’ve ever hit in my life.

My prediction is that this will be a major event every year and that the WSOG will have $10,000 checks falling out of the sky from people wanting to play in this event. It was really that cool.

Day 1 coverage here.

Dan: So how did it in today?
Tom: Got knocked out on the 19th hole
Dan: Did you cross the bubble and school phil Ivey?
Tom: Wil talk about it on sgow
Dan: Promise i an not smirking.
Tom: Thx

Not sure how to interpret this, really, but whether he’s got another tale of a pre-bubble bust-out or wants to moan about some obscure score-sheet snafu, it should make for good radio.

And speaking of … for those who aren’t subscribing, check out the Beyond the Table jukebox on the right, as there’s a new episode up — this one mostly about poker politics, palm trees, and pot. Duuude. Multi-faceted, to be sure.

UPDATE: You can also hear Tom explain why he drove to the WSOG on the current episode. Meanwhile, Phil Ivey arrived by helicopter. (Scroll down to very bottom.)

Text from Tom:

Won today

This means that Tom has defeated the other four players in his party, becoming one of the lucky few to advance to Day Two. According the the WSOG website, thirty of the 36 players advancing (One from each of the 36 groups) will receive $10,000, making this essentially a freeroll for our fellow Pokerati “blogger.”

SCHEDULE OF PLAY
DAY ONE:
36 Groups (5 players per group) capped at 180 players
One player advances from each group.

DAY TWO:
6 Groups (6 players per group)
One player advances from each group into the finals.
Thirty of the 36 players get paid $10,000 for advancing out of Day one into Day two.

DAY THREE:
1 Group (6 players)
Play for $450,000. Winner receives $250,000

A player only has to beat a maximum of 14 other players to win the event.

The WSOG will be aired on NBC on June 23rd and 24th.

From a phone call to Tom, just before the first round:

It’s been like a whirlwind the last couple of days. Meetings, gambling, parties. It’s a tough life, I tell ya.

F-You, Tom.

Beyond the Table – 4/11/07[display_podcast]

This week, you’ll get the clickable privilege of hearing, Tom, Karridy, and Dan enlighten you about:

Segment 1

• Chris Moneymaker urinating during an interview
• Covering the WSOP as a blogger / “working” the WSOP as a player
• Getting stood up by Cash Poker, and other televised cardsy infomercials
• World Poker Tour moves from Travel Channel to GSN.
• Deal or No Deal strategy
• ZeeJustin kicking simultaneous ass online by playing two tourneys at once
• Criminal poker and the lack of recourse

Segment 2

• Tom heading to Bellagio for the 5-star WPT Championship
• The mathematics of buying in (or not) for $25k
• California players vs. Arizona players
• Poker strategy at The World Series of Golf
• Tom grows up, technologicially speaking

Segment 3

• One-name wonders in Poker (and Soccer)
• Googlefight.com while Tom takes a leak
• Annette_15 — underage online PokerStars phenom, top-ranked online player in the world, and not seeing Gavin Griffin’s penis
• Gavin Griffin wins the EPT Championship
• Teaching Tom to use google to stalk Annette Obrestead
• Males vs. Females online, and lack of interest in Dan’s proposed “Male Minority” tournament

One possibility is that Ivey sees golf-gambling with Jordan as a win-win … even if he loses on the links, Ivey’s having a good time with MJ while bilking him for all the knowledge, wisdom, and marketing genius that “the greatest” in a far-bigger-than-poker game might have to offer. That could be worth millions.

The other possibility, of course, is that Ivey is simply running the classic hustle on even richer guys who are more likely to pay up. (Also potentially worth millions.)