Anyhow, while visitors to the Strip may be noticing slightly smaller crowds and cheaper prices, this is what’s been going on for the past year or so in the areas where the people who work the Strip live. Even if you’re not subject to some component of it — and I don’t really know anyone who hasn’t been in some capacity — there’s so much tilt in this town right now … every once in a while someone just loses it.

(In my very amateur economic opinion, this is just the backside of a wave … one that’s headed to the central time zone next. Not to be an alarmist, but when I went home to Dallas over the Christmas holidays, people were talking flippantly about economic conditions and spending money far more care-freely than seen with any locals here. But now, talking to some of these same folks … they’re saying and seeing things that remind me of what people were saying in Las Vegas a year ago.)

Too bad, too, for this house, because it seemed like things were turning around … or at least the descent was slowing. You still see either a For Sale or For Rent or Bank-Owned sign, or front-door lock-box and No Trespassing signs on one out of every four or five houses or so in my neighborhood. But gone are the blocks of foreclosed homes — like three or four together in a row. Supposedly they’re being bought up by California investors, who may see the potential of tearing them down and someday building bigger houses … Of course to do that, they’ll have to get through an increasingly militaristic homeowners association, who find themselves in a weak position when someone shows up with cash in hand and long-term plans that differ from what theirs were when they first bought into the hood.

These houses went up in 2006. It must have seemed like a great investment at the time … the neighborhood is 5 miles from Bellagio with an elevated view of the Strip on one side, and a beautiful snow-capped mountain range on the other. It seemed the perfect set-up for first-time home buyers and up-and-coming real estate landlords acquiring rental properties. With the 215 being widened, the casino dealers, strippers, myriad service workers, big-show back-up singers, and blue-collar families who moved in had a quick route to the Strip and smooth road the other way out to Red Rock our into the mountains. The shopping centers were (and still are) going up at least close to original plan … new traffic lights, Starbuck’s … it all seemed to be rising so beautifully, and with plenty of tourist money in everyone’s pockets, developers were more than happy to work out whatever crazy financing was necessary to fill their homes, so they could bring in the other developers … That must seem like forever ago … now it’s simply a fight to keep the neighborhood from falling into shambles as so many people in this ever-transient city get their asses handed to them on the way out the door.

But oh well … good pluckings for the new packs of foreclosure scavengers who have replaced the fervent garage-sale shoppers of 2007-early 2008 — and the garbage men come on Tuesday.

There are a lot of chips , tables, fancy custom tables and chips and tables for sale, of course, and for $15 a made-for-TV WPT video game. WSOP: Tournament of Champions for the Playstation goes for $8

For $150k you can have documentary footage of the rise and fall of Jamie Gold.

A WSOP baby’s blanket.

More chips, from the Aladdin, and from the Atlantic City Playboy Club. “Omaha Table” from Sante Fe Station.

Perhaps frighteningly, there are even poker bots for sale. At least one suspicious reader is questioning whether or not this is legal.

Remember seeing ads for 24/7poker shortly after the UIGEA? They have apparently gone out of business … and you can now pwn them for $25k.

Another defunct site wants $150k.

Poker domain names for sale for significantly less.

A new online poker room is looking for hot chicks to help them stand out among the better-established competitors at the WSOP.

And perhaps coincidentally, three presumably hot chicks have a room for WSOP players in a nice house for $200/wk.

Or for the same price, WSOP players can stay in this beautiful RV. Hey, if it could be parked in the Rio lot, might be tempting.

Or…

We are looking for 6 women age 18-25 for a cable/dvd reality show shooting in Vegas this summer. You will be living in an amazing house for two weeks along with 5 other girls and 6 guys. The show is a cross of World Series of Poker, Jackass, and The Real World. This is a cable/dvd show, it will be more “R” rated then most network shows (drinking, nudity, etc…)

PokerNews is looking for WSOP interns.

Rounder Magazine will also be at the WSOP … but they’re just looking for hotties.

A 37-year-old real estate broker-online college student-newbie poker pro sees sharing a Vegas high-rise with a model-like babe as a matter of good bankroll management.

One of the top play-chip players in the world/on MySpace — and he’s willing to sell his entire play-money bankroll for $800.

This guy is looking to sell real Full Tilt money, so he can pay his taxes. Kinda sums up the 2008 political debate about online poker, no? Would it or wouldn’t it be a better world if you could simply initiate a transfer on Full Tilt directly to “Uncle Sam”.

A guy is desperate for $300 — and thus is selling art, a poker table, and an ammo can.

Sweet stereo system, won in a poker game.

Hundreds and hundreds of baseballs, branded with Absolute Poker, in search of a good home.

Used poker books for sale.

Two pros seeking $20-200k worth of backing, just in time for the WSOP. This guy is looking for something similar, but for NBA betting.

A player wants a certain dealer.

A dealer wants a certain player.

Awesome …

ALL poker players are sore losers and the worst people and tokers (rude, no toking asswipe idiots)
I’ve been dealing 21 for a long time and every single time some idiot from the poker room finds his way to the pit there’s always a problem. They are all sore losers, rude to the dealers and the other players, shit tokers if they toke at all, and they always try and run all the shit they are allowed to do in the poker room past the 21 dealers. And they all do the most annoying thing known to man – every one of them shuffles their cheques…over…and over…and over again. Like it’s some badge of honor.

Listen up all you poker fucks – keep your rude, sore losing, no toking asses in the poker room where you belong. I’ve watched you assholes do little kid shit like spill drinks on purpose to get a new deck and bend the cards so they’re useless. You idiots should keep away from the pit. Oh yeah, and fuck you.

Awesomer …

Fat Slob – but very rich – seeks stunning knockout for Vegas Trip – 50

After suffering a bad beat at the tables, some like to shake off the tilt with a good-ole-fashioned gangbang. Others, when hitting a royal flush, want to celebrate with a bisexual threesome. And at least one “ultra high stakes amateur” (still) wants to have a baby.

Special use of the WSOP logo: “I am looking for a classy lady, wearing hot lingerie, heels and garter belt”.

Fun Female needed for a poker game. Nice tits a plus. Good Pay

Topless girls also needed just to pose on poker tables.

And this guy won’t charge you anything for his poker services … he’s just a lonely MWM looking for a way into the Batface home game.

The first place you might want to check out, of course, is craigslist. And herein lies my first tip: don’t waste too much time with anything that says “vacation rentals.” This translates to “let’s charge the tourist double or triple because ha ha they’re so stupid!”

You’d be better off just browsing the “apartments/housing for rent” section and doing a search for short-term or something like that. Lots of three-month rentals (which still would be cheaper than two months at a vacation rental, and the fact that they are making them available for short-term really means, damn, we need to generate some cash-flow out of this house that won’t sell!) … and several of them will be willing to break it down by the week. You’ll also find a handful of swanky high-rise options sprinkled in there as well if you want to kick it David Williams-style during the WSOP — some ridiculously expensive, others more affordable than booking a month at Sam’s Town.

Another option is to rent a room in someone else’s house — a lot of this is going on, as people with the threat of foreclosure looming try to figure out how to pay for these houses they bought so easily before anyone really cared about the fiscal solvency of Bear Stearns. Some phat, comfortable crash pads available for a low-stakes buy-in or two if you don’t mind meeting strangers over the internet.

Speaking of phat … if you’ve got a group coming — say a posse of Dallas dealers? — check out places like these:

http://vegaspimphouse.com/
http://vegaspartyhouse.com/

Standard residences pimped out with their own Real World set minus the cameras — the party house one (which is still available all of June) just added a stripper pole. But note: Pokerati can not verify the non-shadiness of these specific locales, so use your own discretion before handing over the cash. They seem square and legit to me, but do know that Clark County recently passed an ordinance cracking down on places just like these, requiring the property proprietors to go through various licensing procedures.

Last, but definitely not least, you can always call Don Jones, the Rounder Club founder, Dallas poker expat, and now Vegas Valley realtor. It used to be that all you had to do was mention Pokerati and he’d put you up in his own house for free during the WSOP. But then a certain pokerati-in-chief may or may not have gone top-shelf in his bathroom and that was the end of that. But he will still help you find a place even if you’re not from Dallas. Just tell him what you’re looking for, and he’ll give you the low-down on what’s possible for how much and will get back to you with some options. No cost to you.

Hope this helps those of you who are making plans for their summertime pilgrimage to the Vegas desert. If you happen to put off making plans until it’s really too late, I do know a guy who can “fix” things no matter how high-roller your tastes, so just send me an email and I’ll put you together.