Your WSOP Experience is hardly complete without a drink or seven at the notorious Rio hooker bar … and while I skipped out early on post-coronation festivities, Pauly stuck around to yuk it up with Otis and Howard (from PokerStarsBlog.com, and England). Frightening observations of obese depravity lead to existential musings on the pathetic existence of all who domicile in Vegas (umm …) and while the trio don’t talk with Peter Eastgate as he walks through the Rio casino eerily alone for a guy who just won $9 million, they do interview one of the working girls … and before you know it they’re negotiating a deal to shoot a tag-team porno, all of which eventually deteriorates into threats of a lawsuit.

Hey, that’s just how things float early after sunrise on a Wednesday morning at the Rio.

Book 5: Tao of Hooker Bar

Episode 5.1: Boundless Nature, Las Vegas
6:05

Episode 5.2: Hurricane of Hookers
7:25

Episode 5.3: Cage-Savvy Coochie
3:05

Pure conspiracy theory … inspired by the winner’s pic of “Harold and” Vivek Rajkumar proudly displaying his WSOP WPT bracelet at the Borgata. Without even a rumor to base this on (just circumstantial observations and wild speculation) I called Pauly hoping we could start one. Pauly was in London after covering the entirety of the last WPT event in Atlantic City, and had a brief stop-over in Amsterdam, which I figured put him in the exact right frame of mind to feel the rhymes I was droppin’ … and sure enough, by the time our jam was done we’d have Full Tilt moving in on PokerStars’ brick-and-mortar territory by bailing out Steve Lipscomb & Friends in an effort to challenge the EPT.

So you heard it here first … be sure to spread the word:

Tao of Pokerati: Episode 2.1
WPT Bailout Rumors (7:28)

Ahh, remember the good-ole-days when there were only like three stories at a time coming in on the Google News Alerts for “poker”, and only like three bloggers who had signed up for them? Me neither … it was never quite like that (but close) … and though I make no promises to keep this up on a daily basis, in an effort to inform the poker-news-hungry to the best of my abilities keep my open browser tabs to a minimum and my email backlog < 500, I will try to provide you some basic links to the plausibly worthwhile shizznit shaking down:

CardRunners and StoxPoker have joined forces to create a poker-training supersite. [PokerOnAMac.com]

Original PartyGaming honcho Anurag Dikshit — creator of some of the earliest online poker software — is one of three Indians to make Forbes’ list of 34 web-innovator billionaires … as well he should be. [MSNBC]

More on the Fed’s aggressive pursuit of Bodog — including criminal investigations on the company and Calvin Ayre. [Forbes.com]

Barney Frank has re-introduced the Payments System Protection Act, a revised version of HR 5767, which was shot down in his own committee earlier this year. [PokerNewsDaily]

Las Vegas visitation is down — to its lowest point since the start of the Iraq war. [Las Vegas Advisor]

And thus it only makes sense that LV gaming revenue is down — 14 percent this time — for the 7th consecutive month. [Forbes.com]

You know those new poker rooms popping up in Arizona? Well the Pascua Yaqui tribe doesn’t like them and is trying to get them shut down. (Funny: the mayor of Phoenix is named Phil Gordon.) [Zonie Report]

Poker parties and poker school are all the rage in Croatia. [CroatianVillas.com]

FUN RUMORS: Apparently Johnny Depp is quite the poker player, but he’s having a hard time getting alt/indie band We Were Scientists to pay up the $28k he beat them out of. (But all debts have been settled with Orlando Bloom, whom he supposedly beat out of $800k during the filming of Pirates of the Caribbean.) [Online Casino Advisory]

And in hardly related non-poker news … Sarah Palin’s teenage daughter’s pregnancy … do we want to start this century off in a world where teens (sometimes) use birth control and occasionally have an abortion or one where we preach abstinence and then glorify/celebrate the shotgun wedding? The MySpace page of the potential VPson-in-law Levi Johnston: [NYPost via HuffingtonPost via Kevin Allen/Sun Times]

“I’m a fuckin’ redneck” who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes.

“But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some shit and just fuckin’ chillin’ I guess.”

“Ya fuck with me I’ll kick [your] ass,” he added.

He also claims to be “in a relationship,” but states, “I don’t want kids.”

Perhaps we all have something to learn from a billion (Non-American) Indians. Not only did “these people” give us one of the founders of PartyPoker and hundreds if not thousands of terrible customer service reps, but also they made what is arguably the best condom commercial ever:

 

It had already been a wild and fun night in a loose 3-6 Omaha Hi-Lo w/ full kill game at Binion’s and I was about to call it a night at 4 a.m. when this drunk Englishman stumbled to the table with a fist full of chips. I could tell right away this guy was going to be interesting, and likely to give away his stacks.

Unsurprisingly, he proceeded to give away some of his roll. After one guy took a nice pot, the Englishman said, “You American lump!” and started cackling.

“A lump? What’s a lump?” asked the guy incredously.

“What’s your name?” the Englishman asked.

“Dave. Who are you?”

“Peter. Peter the Great.”

At some point later someone used a slang term. I can’t recall it at the moment, but a riled up Peter the Great responded, “We gave you the English language and you desecrated it. You don’t speak the Queen’s English.”

Robert, a Binion’s regular, chimed in with, “Is that the English queen or a drag queen?”

Peter the Great pointed his finger at Robert. “You don’t insult the queen. That’s one thing you don’t do.”

“Is Prince Charles going to be the king or are they going to pass him over?” Robert asked.

To which Peter the Great quipped, “We should put a man of great intellect in the position…like George W. Bush, shall’nt we?” And then he cackled.

Later, after continued banter between the Americans and the Brit, Peter the Great remarked how England was the greatest country in the world and had given the world the greatest culture.

“Like the Titanic?” asked Dave.

Peter the Great cackled. “The Titanic was built in Ireland!”

“Wasn’t there a problem with the rivets?” Dave asked.

“They were probably American rivets,” Peter the Great replied.  

Dan seems to think that the story of an Alabama hillbilly chronicling his last attempt to win a mint and avoid going back to the 9 to 5 would be interesting so in addition to bringing you the interesting stories from the WSOP floor, I will be sharing my own adventures in Sin City during the last three weeks of the WSOP.

For a brief introduction, I am Johnny Kampis, better known in the poker blogger world as “Tuscaloosa” Johnny since I hail from the Crimson City. I wrote for Dan at PokerBlog back in the heady days of WSOP 2006. I worked for PokerWorks last summer and have been the main writer for Rounder Magazine for the last couple of years. I also have my own blog, PokerNation, where I share my personal rants and raves.

 I used to be a newspaper guy, working in that sort of journalism for six years. I left The Tuscaloosa News in the summer of 2005 hoping to sell a book on one year in the life on the tournament trail. I did some nice traveling that year, from Vegas to Foxwoods, Atlantic City to Reno, and met some interesting characters, but didn’t score a book deal. Now I feel like a guy with two dollars in his pocket and no plan on how to make it grow. I’ve managed to survive, but not really thrive, during the last three years. Dan knows, Donkey Bomber knows, and else reading this in a similar situation knows how much more enjoyable life can be without the 9 to 5 grind, but unless I can make the poker tables rain money in the next three weeks I’ll be on the job hunt when I return home.

I’ve spent my first few days in Vegas desperately trying to score a proper media pass so I can sit with Dan, Jen and the rest of the wonderful pokerati typing my reports. (There was supposed to have been one through Rounder, but there has been a snafu.) So now I sit here in the Fitzgerald’s Krispy Kreme feverishly trying to finish my first post while snacking on a lemon-filled doughnut. Damn sticky keys.

I’ve had no luck as of yet. I tried the $240 Omaha Hi-Lo at the Golden Nugget Grand series on Wednesday and played for 11 and a half hours only to not even make the moolah. I busted 21st of 162 and 18 got paid. I’m 0 for 4 in WSOP satellites. So far I’m singing the hillbilly blues.

 

Yes, folks, the 2008 World Series of Poker kicks off in one week! On Friday, May 30th, the masses will begin to descend upon the Rio Convention Center for the first tournament, the $10,000 World Championship Pot Limit Hold’em. The very next day will be the first of several $1,500 no limit hold’em events. There will be 55 tournaments in all, for your bankroll-draining pleasure.

(If you look to the right of this column, just under the photos, there is a link to the 2008 WSOP schedule for your convenience.)

For those arriving early, the WSOP area of the Rio will open on the 28th for satellite players, and no doubt the cash games will be revving up as well.

I am leaving the comfort of my Los Angeles apartment tomorrow to drive out to Vegas for a nearly two-month stay in Sin City. I will be helping Dan and the crew bring you the sights and sounds of the World Series, along with writing regular daily full-on articles for PokerWorks. For those of you making the trek (or already living in Vegas), I hope to see you there!

Got $15,000?

If so, you can spend a weekend with Daniel Negreanu.

The weekend in August is limited to 18 people who will be picked up from the airport in a limo and put up at the Venetian. Participants will be allowed to hang with Daniel for a BBQ at his home in Las Vegas, receive catered meals, get VIP service at a nightclub, and participate in two days of poker seminars and workshops, culminating in a private poker tournament.

“If you’re a serious poker player looking to improve your game, I invite you to join us for ‘A Weekend with Daniel Negreanu”, said Daniel. “Not only will you leave a better player, but you will have a great time and live the life of a high stakes poker player”.

Here’s a question: If someone has $15k or $20k set aside as “poker” money, is it good bankroll management to spend it all on one weekend of instruction and good times?

If you think so, check out the website for more information.

After being snowed in at DFW for a night, a contingent of Batfaces is en route to Vegas — presenting the biggest threat to my bankroll since setting up camp in the Valley. A lot of these guys and other friends/sisters have wanted to know how I am doing out here in cards/women. Here is the answer, for Dec 30-Mar 7:

North Texas fireworks kingpin Ran Nelson brought his tight-aggressive Dallas game recently to the Mandalay Bay.

Though I haven’t been writing much about anything it, I have been hitting the tables here in Vegas. Have sampled a handful of rooms and action … spreading the lore of the Hammer and the Sang all along the way, of course, as I seek to replace the competitive camaraderie of the Batface home game perhaps with something akin to Jackie’s back in the (Dallas underground hey)day.

That came easier than usual this week, when TBR-bro-in-law Patrick came to town. He was staying at the Luxor, so we met up at Cathouse for a drink. (Cathouse is basically like the Lodge without the nipples, and Celeb-chef Kerry Simon in place of Jose Luis.) A couple Lagavulins later, we walked over to Mandalay Bay, where we took two seats together at a $2/$4 no-limit table. This was bigger stakes than either of us had been playing, but hey, we were feelin’ half-drinky good, and it seemed a better option than waiting, as the room was totally full and festive on a Thursday night. A familiar face was seated with us – Ran Nelson, a very good Dallas player whom I hadn’t seen since the days of Jackie’s – what a delight. He had a new cardmarker, a square block of acrylic with his little Stuey guy inside of it, surrounded by chips from the various important poker rooms to Ran, including WinStar in Oklahoma and the old Sixth Street in Dallas.

I was playing great – more-than-doubled up in about an hour by trapping a well-stacked opponent in classic Dan-style … but then was back to square 1 a few hands later when I got unlucky on the turn … and back to square 0 when I don’t remember what I did but I am pretty sure it was stupid, starting with playing the likes of .

Mandalay Bay
$2/$4 NLH
Buy-in: $300
Cash out: $0
Food: starved
Drinks: $28
Net: -$328

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From the looks of the press release that just came in, all is well in WPTville. At first glance I thought I was gonna have to do an, “Oops, we were wrong!” post … but then I realized this is simply announcing the TV schedule for Season 6 — on GSN instead of the Travel Channel — and not anything about upcoming events for Season 7.

Will be interesting to see what effect the move to GSN has on WPT ratings and revenues … and can only guess that the bosses at WPT are thinking the same thing. At a minimum they have made it easy to compare, as last year’s sked seems rather robust:

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Not sure what Monte Carlo has to do with President’s Day, but I suppose it’s coincidental that that holiday falls on the soonest possible day MGM/Mirage could re-open their gaming tables and other cash-revenue generators at the Strip casino that briefly looked like it might burn to the ground three weeks ago.

Click below to read the full release.

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The World Poker Tour will be announcing its Season 7 schedule next week, and according to some recent banter around the high-stakes tournament tables, at least two (not-so?) major events will be, er, disappeared — the WPT Mandalay Bay Poker Championship and the WPT Mirage Poker Showdown.

A company spokeswoman could neither confirm nor deny, but did say that WPT Enterprises has “really looked at the market and listened closely to feedback from players.” So I suppose we’ll see next week when the official press release comes out.

In the meantime, here’s Pokerati’s super-undercover investigative reporter Tom Schneider with the report:

[display_podcast]

A series of deep-stack tourneys just kicked off over at the Venetian yesterday — $300, $500, $1,000 buy-ins and the like — the 2008 Deep Stack Extravaganza I. It was apparently a pretty big deal … I heard two reports — one saying 600 people with 200 alternates. The other claiming 550 players, and yeah, um, lots of alternates it was crazy! I couldn’t make it, however, because I was engaged in an important face-to-face with the Axis of Evil and poker’s hottest new celebrity dictator, Kim Jong Il:

Apparently the North Korean leader was in town to denounce American political sanctions and play $1/$3 No Limit Hold’em at the Rio.

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It’s good to be back in Vegas. Was interesting being on the plane as someone “returning home” as opposed to heading out. The guy in front of me was 21 and heading to Vegas for his first time with an older man who I can only presume was his father. A hot blonde local was sitting in the window seat. She works in construction — and apparently it’s been a little slow around here this winter (the best time to build, weather-wise), so she was on her way back from a vacation to Puerta Vallarta.

Not sure who was behind me, but he had three little open airline liquor bottles on the middle tray — one of which was tipped over, as if a Smurf had passed out with it in his hand before falling over. It was enough to have me feelin’ a little pokery and ready to head to the Strip myself. It is Super Tuesday Mardi Gras, after all.

Tom went to San Diego for his Fat Tuesday. He’s goin’ for two final tables in a row at WSOP Circuit events, which would be a nice way to start the year, no? This is the $5,000 Harrah’s Rincon event. I’m quasi-following on the WSOP website. Looks to be a solid field full of pros still alive … all competing for a $TKK,000 first prize:

Time Stamp: Wednesday, February 06, 2008 12:51:35 AM
Player / Chip Count

Vanessa Rousso 72,000
Layne Flack 69,000
Bill Edler 60,800
Ted Lawson 57,000
Lee Watkinson 54,000
Theo Tran 47,800
Tom Schneider 35,000
Damien Oborne 34,000
Chad Brown 29,000
Jeff Madsen 28,600
Roy Winston 24,000
Erick Lindgren 23,000
Alex Jacob 21,025
Gavin Smith 15,500
Brandon Cantu 13,500
Allen Kessler 8,800
Jerry Buss 5,600
Anna Wroblewski 5,600

Peter ‘Nordberg’ Feldman 0
Jerry Yang 0

Here it is a little more closer to live, from PokerNews.

The Montel Williams Show will be ceasing production after 17 years — and so where does one go from there but to a downtown Vegas poker room? Ever since he took the chip lead on Day 1 of the 2007 WSOP main event, Montel seems to have gotten hooked … and lately he’s been hosting $1,000 sit-n-gos at the Golden Nugget poker room:

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As Pokerati slowly but surely gets settled in to our new Las Vegas digs, we’ve started thinking about the next Pokerati Invitational … and specifically how to keep it legal. Kinda funny, but that was pretty easy to do in Texas … just throw a tourney with no entry fee or any other sort of rake and it was all good — whether it was held at Adam’s house, the Lodge, Sadler & Carter, or the Platinum Room. Dealer tips and money that was taken out of the prize pool to be put back in in the form of a medieval battle helmet trophy or fancy sandwiches … well that may have been legally questionable … but we somehow managed to stay clean as I threw an event once a year for all my best poker friends/clients/colleagues and anyone else’s butt that may have needed kissing. Good times!

Anyhow, I’m trying to figure out what’s possible here in Nevada, where all things “gaming” seem to be heavily regulated. Like can I throw my own event, at a house, if I so choose? With my own dealers? Or if I go to a casino, do I have to take an entry fee?

These questions are semi-rhetorical for now, as I study up on how things work in the Silver State … where as far as I can tell it is still illegal to play online. (Who knew?!? I thought they changed that law, but apparently not. I was kicking ass on Full Tilt just yesterday!) You know what has me shaking my head is how I made a conscious choice way back when to ditch the Dallas underground in favor of the online world. Shortly thereafter, my bosses at PartyPoker were deemed serious criminals if they didn’t get out of Dodge by sundown. So now in an attempt to go totally legit, I have come to Las Vegas, where, heck, just about everything is legal … and lo and behold, there’s still a lot of gray areas — not to mention people who live and work in them.

Or at least I am drinking it (8 percent variety) … as I finish up my day and get ready for the night:

Not bad.

Semi-live video of the fire. (From earlier this morning.)

TV news report on the blaze, what may have caused it, immediate impact on the Strip and surrounding areas.

That was the word on the street at the Starbuck’s drive-thru … and sure enough, a look out the window at Pokerati headquarters semi-confirms that indeed, the Monte Carlo is on fire. A little follow-up confirms this is not just a little fire … the MC is burning down. To the ground remains to be seen.

UPDATE: Reportedly the fire started on the roof and worked its way down a few floors. But it is now under control. Traffic is a whole ‘nother story, however. Travel time from the airport to the convention center is two hours.

The WSOP is about 4 months away, so naturally people are starting to make plans — including PartyPoker. Two interesting things about their latest WSOP announcement: 1) win your way in early so you can buy your own plane tickets for cheap; and 2) Party continues to try and further embed themselves with Phil Hellmuth.

Party used to be the site that didn’t attach themselves to any pros other than Mike Sexton. And they used to pay for your travel when you won a satellite online. Now they are trying to put it in your head that it’s normal for the player to take care of that.

Click below for the full press release.

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One of the things I’ve started keeping track of with the poker bankroll is food. Just curious if I notice any trends on how I do related to what I’ve eaten, when I’ve eaten, how much I’ve eaten, etc. So far there is no apparent consistency … beyond that I either win or lose within 24 hours of eating … but I have been getting to sample a handful of Vegas restaurants, and thought that might be of interest to other poker players who, you know, gotta eat, too.

Yesterday I went to the ever-luxurious Sherwood Forest Cafe at Excalibur …

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Ahh, the Las Vegas paper is all over it already. Sweet!

Sorry if I’ve seemed a little non-posty since setting up shop in LV. I’ve been going to too many porn parties playing too much poker busy helping get a new web service off the ground: Thrillist Las Vegas.

Basically, Thrillist will be sending an easy-click email once a week to subscribers about some of the cooler shizznit going down in V-town … only I won’t be using phrases like “shizznit.” In the first edition, we talk about the VIP Suite at Red Rock Lanes (just in time for the PBA Tournament of Champions), the opening of a new restaurant, a more-than-beef-jerky jackpot, a fancy shoe store in the new Palazzo, and how swingers can tell when it’s time for a threesome. All very important to know, of course, whether you’re a local or a semi-regular visitor looking to indulge in ways most can’t find at home.

The premiere non-spam just showed up in subscribers’ inboxes early this AM … and their lives are presumably far better as a result. Did you get it? If not, sign up here.

Check it out … casino executives have been making political contributions long before this sorta stuff was tracked and kept on the legal up and up. Click here to see who is giving to whom this presidential election season.

Interestingly enough, very few are giving to Barack Obama. Even though Elain Wynn (Steve’s wife) is working for his campaign, their family is giving to Joe Biden. The Binion’s are John McCain people. Kirk Kerkorian digs Joe Biden and john McCain. The Sands Corp. … they love the ultraconservative causes of Rudy Giuliani. There seems to be some bet-hedging with Hillary Clinton … but again, very little casino money going to Obama (or Ron Paul).

WTF I’m doing in Las Vegas …

You should sign up. Like really. Because Vegas is for lovers.

For the last few years, the biggest game in Vegas has been at Bobby’s Room — a glass enclosed high-high stakes area at Bellagio, complete with fine oil paintings of its most regular players … Doyle Brunson, Jennifer Harman, Phil Ivey, Sammy Farha et al. But the action there has dwindled, and according to Doyle’s Blog (scroll down to the Jan. 7 entry) has moved, at least temporarily:

We moved the ‘Big Game’ down to the Venetian Cardroom this weekend. Not that we had a problem with the Bellagio, but just to have a change in scenery. The Venetian is a beautiful place and they treat us very well so they may get some of our business. I really liked it because I had a nice win there.

A lot of people have been clamoring about my TV poker hosting debut wondering what has happened with the U.S. PokerBowl. Indeed, this inaugural team poker concept tourney was supposed to be airing this month on FoxSports. But I don’t think it will be — despite the arguable success of the event. Sure enough, everyone there seemed to be having a really good time … the televised images looked different than what has previously been seen on Poker TV … and amid an interesting re-interpretation of important poker rules, there was all sorts of heartwarming emotional drama with potential controversy (would Marc Seif’s Absolute team insist on wearing their be-logo-ed hats so visibly?) to give us announcers — and presumably the blogging television audience — much to talk about.

But perhaps everyone knew something was amiss when the only two people not smiling in the Key West ballroom at the Palms were the guy organizing the whole thing and John-Robert Bellande (who wasn’t even playing).

“Hey, congratulations on pulling off something really cool,” I said to John Nightingale at the start of the final-final table.

“Well, it was until about 30 minutes ago when the shit really started to hit the fan,” he responded before walking away all exasperated. I guess maybe we shouldn’t be surprised when a tournament that relies on too many freerolls and forgets to take any juice runs into a financial clusterflubbing. Bummer if it can’t be resurrected. Just ask anyone who participated … it really was pretty cool.

Click here to see my photos from the PokerBowl (kicking myself for not taking more of the real behind-the-scenes stuff) … and/or click below to read an email that went out last week updating those with a vested interest in the success (or failure) of the PokerBowl on where things currently stand and what the money situation is:

Date: Wed, 2 Jan 2008 23:29:35 +0000
From: help[-at-]pokerbusinessenterprises.com
To: help[-at-]pokerbusinessenterprises.com
Subject: POKERBOWL MONEY OWED URGENT UPDATE

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“Las Vegas is all about layers, man!”

And apparently you gotta know where they are to move from one to another. That was the point The Butler was trying to make, only he was moving his hand in a downward motion, not upward, as he explained the concept of getting to the good stuff.

You’ll be hearing more about The Butler, I’m sure. He helped hook me up with the new Pokerati Headquarters, which I just moved into, and since has shown himself to be an interesting dude with Kramer-esque tendencies, always ready to pop in with some wisdom about how to make it in this town/world. But don’t confuse him with “the Boss” … who apparently is the guy with much less to say and a lot more money.

It’s all about layers … and tubes.

I’m also learning that a black leather coat seems to be part of the winter Las Vegas uniform. Hmm, gotta specifically get me one of those or not.

Radley Balko, one of my favorite poker-friendly non-poker provocateurs, is on the radio right now — ESPN 970 am in Las Vegas — talking about poker, online poker, internet gambling, the UIGEA, and presumably how it all ties into other pressing issues that will (or should) be on voters’ minds in 2008.

NOTE: I can’t seem to listen to the station online. “New-to-Vegas,” I claim. Can anyone help? I thought all radio stations were online these days.

Here’s some of what I missed. Apparently Connect Four is the new poker.

Since Dan moved to Vegas last week, he has successfully missed at least one of the biggest parties of the year.

Jay-Z held the grand opening of his new 40/40 Club at the Venetian in Vegas on December 30th. Jay-Z brought Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Robin Thicke, Ne-Yo, Cindy Margolis, Charles Barkley, LeBron James, Alex Rodriguez, and even Rev. Al Sharpton for the bash. And yes, Dan had an invitation to attend but didn’t open his e-mail until a day late.

Could this just be a fluke, a casualty of a semi-chaotic move from Dallas to Vegas?

Pokerati limo driver Bob Haney, headed to Vegas where he will join nearly a dozen other Rounder Club expats in pursuit of a better poker life.

STATE HWY 287 (Somewhere in the Texas Panhandle)–Call it a whim if you will, but Pokerati has decided to relocate … to Las Vegas. And we’re en route right now. Like literally — as I type we’re slowing down for the junction with Farm Road 2530 as we head in to Childress. As far as I know, there’s no law against blogging while driving, right?

OK, that’s kinda a joke … we’re not stupid, and Pokerati likes to roll in style, which is why we have a chauffeur handling some of the commute. Meet Bob (pictured). Bob was one of the first Lodge Amateur Poker players … who would go on to win the LAP Player of the Year, earning him a seat in last year’s WSOP Seniors event. He woulda cashed, too, had he not gotten it all-in pre-flop with AA against 55 … only to see a flop of 10-5-5. Ah, yes, the 21+ hour drive from Dallas to Las Vegas will clearly be much more enjoyable as we get to trade bad-beat stories all along the way!

Anyhow, Bob is headed to Vegas, he says, “to pursue my new love, which is cards.” And apparently he gives me some sort of credit blame for his addiction playing poker cupid. So after recently getting fired from his job as a security guard under legally nefarious circumstances (two-time whistleblower vs. an allegedly embezzly boss), he said “fuggit!” and decided to hitch a ride with Pokerati to the Nevada desert, where he plans to go to dealer school and start a new chapter in his life.

Hmm, sounds good to us.

Donkey Bomber Pokerati Tom — my words, not his — is at another final table today. That’s about all we know. I think it’s in a $2,500 Venetian/NPL Vegas Open event — I know it’s not at one of the preliminary Bellagio 5-Diamond tourneys where most of the pros are playing — but can’t be sure because, frankly, Tom tends to slack off from his frontline tournament reporting duties whenever he’s playing well (or vice versa). Too bad Goldfarb’s not making more final tables, because even if he can’t post directly from the table, he loves to send me the suckout-by-suckout recaps.

Tom Schneider starts today third in chips … I do know that much. And yeah, looking again, it’s gotta be event #3, because that’s one that counts toward Player of the Year. He really wants to win it, and thinks he can. Personally, I don’t think he stands a chance — though I suppose technically it’s possible and the Arizona Cardinals could win the next Super Bowl, as neither have been mathematically eliminated from contention.

In the meantime, keep up the good work, Tom (6)! We’re rooting for you against David Pham, Jonathan Little, Scott Clements, Bill Edler, JC Tran, David Fox, James Van Alstyne, Jared Hamby, and Danny Wong! Actually, I’m kinda rooting for Danny Wong, too … because he’s on my fantasy team. And Travis Rice, who is Dallas Poker’s highest ranked player in the CardPlayer standings at #11 — 5 spots, and 680 points behind Tom.

UPDATE (from Tom):

Belagio 2500 started yesterday 247 players

Hmm, OK, so I guess it was not one of the Venetian tourneys … it was a 5-Diamonder. Oops! But can we say sic.?

CORRECTION: Despite his own reports to the contrary, Schneider starts the day second in chips, not third. Click below to see who’s at the final table …

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Our favorite Donkey Bomber is back in Vegas … trying to score some bank at the Venetian’s NPL Vegas Open. He did OK in his first go — making another final table and finishing 3rd. It was a $2,500 NLH event, with 61 players. According to Tom via text:

6:40 pm: Down to 3 medium stak
7:59 pm: Out3rd qq vs a5 4 a lot of money

Kathy Liebert would go on to win this event, and the $55k first prize. Still, not a bad warm-up for the main event, which starts this coming Monday. It’s a $15,000 buy-in and should be a doozy.

Tom is making his desperate last-ditch effort to win CardPlayer’s Player of the Year, where he currently is ranked 6th. Though he has not been mathematically eliminated from contention, he basically needs to kick major ass while relying on Bill Edler, JC Tran, David Pham to seriously falter.

Don’t ask me why, but I am looking for some assistance …

I need to know some of the coolest, neatist, must-do kinda shee-ot going down in Las Vegas right now. Or next month. Can anyone tell me?

I’m trying to figure out if you were a local, where would you direct your friends visiting from out of town? Specifically if your friends were about 25 years old and male, with good enough jobs that they could afford to blow a festive wad off the tables — whether it be at a restaurant, bar, or low-rider convention.

Thanks in advance for your help. Links, of course, appreciated.

Ok, I’m officially in poker withdrawal. I haven’t been playing at all lately and have spent the last 6 months listening to the exploits of Tom as he conquered the WSOP and final tables at the WPT. To make matters worse, my good friend Karridy has been able to experience these events, traveling to both the WSOP and a WPT final table. And to top it all off, the rest of the Beyond the Table gang was just in Vegas last week-end for the 1st Annual Poker Bowl. Not just attending, but providing live broadcasting and PR duties for the event! In short, my non poker playing ass is really happy for them jealous as shit.

Yeah, Yeah - no one wants to hear my pity party - so I decided to get off my ass and book a trip to Vegas for what will be a much needed break from the kids for both myself and the always lovely Mrs. SitNGo! We land Thursday afternoon and stay thru Sunday and I should get plenty of quality poker in as we only have tickets to one show (”O”) and I overheard Mrs. SitNGo telling a friend on the phone that I would be playing poker the whole time and she was looking forward to spending all of my hard earned money having some alone time. Following the advice of Dan and Tom, and some independent research at All Vegas Poker, I booked us at the Venetian. I can’t wait for the trip, but I admit I have some nervous excitement to finally get back at a poker table. The room review at All Vegas makes the Venetian room sound great, but the competition sounds stiff. Some quotes from others who have gone there:

“These guys were very good. Where I come from (Oklahoma Indian Casino Poker rooms) you could limp in for 2 bucks and see a flop most of the time. At Venetian, you could not see a flop for less then 10 bucks.” - Is it a bad sign that the majority of my live cash game experience is at Oklahoma Indian Casino’s?

“Probably the toughest room I’ve ever played in.” - Great.

More…

From Boston to Cali to Las Vegas to Washington DC … it’s all about poker-poker-poker ’til the cows come home.

So wow, so much is going on right about now. A lot of smart people doing a little bit more than just geeking out about poker and the industry’s/game’s/lifestyle’s future. Wish I could be everywhere:

We’ve got the Global Poker Thinking Society getting together at Harvard — featuring Howard Lederer, Charles Nesson, and Crandall Addington.

And then this weekend is the California Poker Conference — where speakers include WSOP Commish Jeffrey Pollack, PPA Executive Director John Pappas, and some influential old-timers such as Mike Caro, Lou Kreiger, Barbara Enright, and many others.

And then on the next day, Pappas heads back to Washington DC, where he’ll be hosting the Poker Player’s Alliance DC Fly-in — a little Beltway lobbying fest on behalf of pro-poker legislation. This is the one I really want to be at — and we’ll try to stay on top of things from afar — because twisting Congressional arms enlightening our representatives is a lot of fun. I gotta say, it also kinda makes me proud to know that our success wooing Rep. Pete Sessions (R-TX) as a co-sponsor to HR 2610, the Skill Game Protection Act, kinda inspired it.

From CardPlayer:

JP: We had a really great meeting in August with Congressmen Pete Sessions in his Dallas, Texas, office. It was myself and a number of our local PPA members, including Clonie Gowen, who’s a Dallas, Texan, and Robert Williamson III, another Dallas, Texan. We went in and sat down with him and talked to him about the Wexler bill and why it just didn’t make sense that a game of skill is being outlawed on the Internet. And it really resonated and it really came through and what I saw was, wow, this is something we need to replicate, this is something we needed to do more of. Based on that meeting, I thought we needed to get people out to Washington. Whether we make 20 meetings or 200 meetings, I think it’s going to be a worthwhile event.

Very cool! (And well done, Pokeratizen politicos!) Good times, all around. And indeed, we should do more of that.

I’ll be in Vegas … assuming I make my flight, which leaves in — yeow! — four hours, to do the TV Co-hosting thing with Tom Schneider for the inaugural Poker Bowl. This should be a pro-studded affair … even Doyle Brunson will be playing, along with Greg Raymer, Scotty Nguyen, reformed self-colluder ZeeJustin … and Absolute spokesman Mark Seif. Like seriously, we have so much to talk about!

And so little of it to do with how to play in middle position.

That’s what I’m hearing. From a generally reliable source who heard it from some guy who heard it from some other guy in Vegas.

Quality journalism at its finest! Remember, you heard it here first.

UPDATE: Confirmation from the brick-and-mortar poker-room gurus here.

UPDATE: Mike Paulle’s insightful obituary.

Living and working in Los Angeles, just a few miles of nightmarish traffic away from Hollywood, it’s not difficult to keep up with tabloid journalism news of the rich and famous. And as they make poker news, this reporter is right there to help spread rumors and inconsequential news. You’re welcome.

Let’s start with MTV’s Video Music Awards that took place in Las Vegas last weekend. Sure, the important news was Brittany Spears and her, ummm, interesting performance at the show. But I’m here to give you the poker-related info.

Rolling Stone magazine took the opportunity of the celebrity mecca to Vegas to celebrate their 40th anniversary with parties and the obligatory charity poker tournament. Nowhere could it be determined what charity was benefiting from the event, nor what the buy-in was. It was confirmed that there were 15 tables that played out on Saturday, September 8, and some of the participants included Nelly, Kevin Smith, Joe Simpson, Brody Jenner, Cee-Lo, Ryan Cabrera, John Salley, and Vince Neil.

The winner? Rap superstar Nelly. At the WSOP, he played the $10k main event and donked off his chips in less than two hours. At this charity tournament, he outplayed a bunch of celebrities and won the thing. The best news was that he donated all of his prize money to charity.

How did Nelly go from donkey-status to semi-average poker player? Evidently, he’s been dropping in on home games with Phil Laak and Antonio Esfandiari. Homeboy seems to be serious about being a playa.

Other news at the VMA’s included the high school man-to-man fight between Kid Rock and Tommy Lee over Pamela Anderson, going forward to be referred to as Pammie. (Not that she and I are gal pals, but I like men to think so.) While the boys are fighting over her, she claims to be in love with a pro poker player. She refused to name the person to any source, even Ellen DeGeneres, but reportedly told one source that she was down several hundred thousand dollars in a poker game, and the player offered to take care of it in return for, ummm, take a guess. “I paid off a poker debt with sexual favors,” she said, “and fell in love. He took advantage of me… He’s a good guy.” And on the Ellen show, she confirmed that much and concluded with, “It’s so romantic. It’s romance.”

Awww.

The tabloids have put her statements together with some recent sightings of Pammie and Rick Salomon, infamous Paris Hilton sex tape entrepreneur, on a Malibu beach on Labor Day weekend, so rumors are running rampant that Rick is that poker player. Here’s a tip for Pammie and everyone else: Rick Salomon is not a professional poker player. Trust us.

But the Pammie rumor mill is not out of juice yet. According to the Las Vegas Magazine blog site, insiders are saying that Pammie’s new boyfriend is actually poker pro Antonio Esfandiari. Voila! That would be magical, wouldn’t you agree?

Speaking of Antonio, he’s made the tabloids lately with his recent Cristal-off. He was reportedly at the new nightclub Blush at the Wynn on the Vegas Strip, and he and NBA pro Kobe Bryant were each trying to buy more Cristal champagne than the other. Kobe ordered approximately 15 bottles – cheapskate! Not to be outdone, Antonio ended up ordering 26 bottles and spent nearly $35k for one night out. Then he told TMZ about it. Nice hand, sir.

NOT LAS VEGAS–News media is always on the lookout for the next Jessica-in-the-Well, and yesterday there looked to be a chance of something like it when three teenagers kids ages 8-10 supposedly were trapped on a ledge in Red Rock Canyon — the coolest bit of Nature just outside Vegas. Well it turns out those crafty children were pulling a hoax on the rescue cops.

Anyhow, I’m glad there are no dead kids, because when I first heard the news of the potential tragedy, I instantly thought … “Ooh, this will be a good way to segue into my leftover pictures of Red Rock!”

Click below to see a different side of Vegas … taken one night/morning after leaving the Rio around 6 am, and for whatever reason, instead of going home to bed, decided to keep driving into the mountains:

LAS VEGAS–I just woke up from a dream about the World Series, the Rio, Clonie, and the guys from Wicked Chops (who were waiting in line but had no potato chips). Took another big hit at the table yesterday but am still up for the whole 2+ month trip … but just barely. Today/yesterday I met another “fixer” — who can hook me up with all the drugs, whores, limos, five-star personal chefs, and/or young boys one could ever want. (But no younger than 18! “This is Vegas, dude, but that would just be wrong.”) A good chunk of his client list supposedly includes aging rock stars and elected officials. I also suffered my first slot machine losses of the century — $20. It’s clearly time for me to go.

(Actually I am running a little late — should face some tough California traffic in the morning, as I am taking the long way home.)

Big ups and mad props to the gentlemen of Rounder Club West for putting up with me for my post-WSOP encore. Thanks Don and Doc. But I’m gonna get outta here before you see what I did in the corner.

UPDATE: Got a voicemail from Doctor Steve while I was napping, and he (finally) cashed in a Sahara tourney for $600. Congrats, Doc! Knew you could do it! Next step is winning it all. Our work here is finished just beginning …