Joan Rivers got trapped on an escalator. The power went out,
12:45 PM May 8th from web

Joan Rivers has a concussion. She was getting a drink and the toilet seat fell on her head.12:27 PM May 9th from web

Meanwhile, you can follow Annie (@RealAnnieDuke), and probably even better, her boyfriend (@JoeUgly), before-during-after tonight’s finale. Likewise for @JoanRivers___.

Others on-set or nearby:
@CelebApprentice (@MelRivers and @brandenroderick got the official tweeting gigs)
@Zappos
@tomgreenlive
@Andy_Bloch
@natalie_gulbis
@howardhlederer

OK, hmm, interesting. At least this tells all those YouTube commenters that Melissa wasn’t acting in the original outburst.

Here’s their appearance/interview with Ellen (love the Lady Gaga intro — woot!), where Joan doesn’t exactly rescind her disgust for all things poker, but she does downgrade and de-Semitize her Annie hatred by calling her not Hitler, but The Bernie Madoff of Poker. She apparently doesn’t realize that title is already taken by Russ Hamilton — or maybe she does! — but whatever:

Donald Trump said on Regis & Kelly this morning that Joan did quit. Next week will be the final four. 2 weeks from now is the finale.

So that leaves:

Clint Black
Jesse James
Annie Duke
Brande Roderick

UPDATE: I should probably add a question mark to the hedline, because some “inside” info has come in to say Joan will indeed be back in the mix and that my predictions below are way off. We’ll have to see …

My prediction:

4th – Clint
He’s been lucky to get this far, but ultimately can’t present for shit and has caused too much friction on his teams.

2nd 3rd – Annie
She’s impressed him the whole way. But in the end, she has to learn to get a lot more people to love her. We know she couldn’t have won, because if she had, she wouldn’t have had anything to say about Joan last week.

3rd 2nd – Jesse
Trump has kept him around trying to “figure him out” … he finally will, and in doing so will discover some reason to justify why a dude with visible tattoos can’t represent him.

1st – Brande
She shines when needed, and made a great soliloquy about how being a pretty blonde makes her have to be smarter and work harder. She also can rally the funds when necessary, and in general, well … have you seen the gold monument to his imaginary cock on the Las Vegas Strip? He’s a perv. Would also have the added benefit of letting all his Miss America contestants know that showing your buffest stuff can be an important step on the ladder to success.

I’m watching the bitch on the apprentice

… to which I responded:

you mean the woman who would be impressive to you if she were a man?

I didn’t really like her response to the Hitler jokes last week, nor her gratuitous blowjob promotion. (Strong means weak.) But now I think I understand why she’s not just brushing off comedic comparisons to the historical model for evil tyrants. After all, whether you like her or not, she is poker’s biggest ambassador right now … and when Joan Rivers let her have it this week, it wasn’t just an assault on her, it was an attack on all the poker people she represents:

Hmm, interesting … though one might refute the blood-money comment by looking at Joan Rivers’ love for African diamonds vs. Annie’s work for Darfur, the question it really raises: So what poker player did Joan Rivers sleep with in Las Vegas in the ’70s? Because that’s what she’s really saying here, right? She thought she was falling for a sexy badboy — it was so much fun while he was winning! — but then he explained the concept of a bad beat, she fronted his next couple buy-in, and poof! … he suddenly disappeared. I think I recognize the storyline from 2+2.

For the a little more context around Joan Rivers’ anti-poker tirade — and to hear Annie get called, essentially, a “Nazi pit viper piece of shit whore scum” — check out the extended clip here.

(And be sure to check out the non-pokery YouTubers’ comments as a reminder of how many still see her/us.)