That’s not really the point of this video, but hey, when Lacey Jones talks for 15 seconds about the business of getting naked, people listen.*

The Absolute Poker/Zizzazz girl’s latest spokesmodel gig is with Ksino.com (a gambling-themed clothing line by the people who helped set standards for douchebag- club-culture fashion with Caffeine).

The vid gives a little behind-the-scenes peek at her signing the deal, and then follows her as she hits the streets of Manhattan, where she runs across at least one New York City underground player who offers a glimpse of how the games work there. She also explains how above-ground casinos handle the shark-whale relationship, and eventually starts dressing dudes she meets on the streets … which is kinda like undressing them, but not quite. Special appearance by Spongebob Squarepants.

* listening props: @AlCantHang

Normally we wouldn’t think much of a thread on 2+2 about some withdrawal problems at a major American-friendly online site. Usually these problems get resolved in a matter of days or maybe weeks, but this time something’s different.

Developing …

We’ll hold off on saying too much until we get more solid information, but basically, checks from PokerStars are “bouncing”, particularly with New York banks. Instant E-checks seems to be the payment processor most notably affected at present. However, it’s not just e-checks … paper checks are proving uncashable, too. Reliable sources tell us that this is not just a little snafu, but that it’s the direct result of DOJ enforcement actions somehow connected to the Federal Court in New York’s Southern District.

This is the same court, of course, that handled Neteller way back when, and more recently came to non-prosecution agreements guilty plea settlements with Anurag Dikshit et al. While the Party Poker dudes are officially in the clear,* is it possible the Feds are now saying, hey, that was fun, and we got a lot of money … let’s try it again with those PokerStars guys!?!

The FBI offers more clarity on who’s agreed to what between Party Poker peeps and the Feds here.

The best I can tell, right now Stars seems to be the target. No confirmation on the fates of Full Tilt and UB payment processing.

UPDATE: Problems at Full Tilt, too. (Thanks, Ken, for the info/link!) And Ultimate Bet.

Regardless, whatever shakes down (pun intended), it raises a lot of questions at an interesting time, considering how much big money gets transfered passed between poker players — particularly in the summer — often on an online site in exchange for casino chips and/or bricks of cash.

Might the value of the Euro have just gone up, at least in the poker economy? Seems plausible if they’re the only ones able to convert online bankrolls into real American WSOP buy-in dollars.

* Cases against (with?) two other Party principals, Ruth Parasol and Russ DeLeon, are still pending in the same court.

Semi-related to all the activity going on today … there’s a great story in Salon about poker:

A city awash in cards
Inside New York’s underground poker scene, where no one thinks about the recession, or their rent money, when there’s a good hand to be played.

Hi, my name is Jim, and I have a gambling problem.

I told myself the last time was the last time, but here I am, in another bind: $1,000 in chips resting anxiously on the felt in front of me, and the ace-queen of hearts in my hand.

My lone opponent is Al, an egg-shaped old wiseguy who breathes heavy when he has a winner. Right now he’s taking up most of the oxygen in this three-story walk-up.

The rational part of my brain is screaming at me. “Fold, you stupid motherfucker. That’s half a month’s rent you are about to toss into the pot on a draw.” But Al is legendary for losing and that’s all the compulsive part of my brain can focus on. “Maybe he’s bluffing,” it whispers. “Move all-in.”

Read more …

Yeesh, you go AWOL for just a blip, and suddenly everyone thinks you’ve pulled a Mike Matusow. En route to the Bahamas, the Tao of Pokerati’s favorite Frenchman, Benjo, stopped off in Pauly’s New York hood for some All-American New Years Eve shenanigans (Benjo’s version here and, even funnier, here), and in the process they turned to stimulating discussion of playing poker in prison (tight is right!), the best French players in 2008 (David Benyamine and Bertrand “Elky” Grospellier), what Frenchie players are and are not broke, Benjo’s love for keno and Marrakech hookers, the “Budapest Incident” turned Lesbian Vomit Show … all capped off with a how-to on ordering from the international buffet of Gotham prostitutes. Tao of Pokerati at its finest — always the case when Benjo’s in town!

Book 7: Big Apple Benjo
New York City

Episode 7.1: Jailhouse Rocks (and Maniacs)
3:15

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Episode 7.2: The (French) Year in Review
4:49

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Episode 7.3: Hookers around the World! *
5:06

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*This episode brought to you by Asian Delight Massage.

UPDATE: Benjo nails another French claim to greatness, as ElkY took down PokerStars $25k “High Roller” event in the Bahamas yesterday. Clearly the only “best” French poker analyst in the biz.

photo: Flipchip / LasVegasVegas
Ylon Schwartz, en route to the final table.

For all those negatively noting that the delayed final table isn’t bringing the hype it promised … patience, patience … it’s coming: The New York Times just took note of their hometown favorite, Ylon Schwartz. He’s an interesting character — basically quasi-degenerate meets chess wizard with a soft spot in his heart for kids. His dad left when he was age 2, and his mom died five years ago. He got his start in the New York underground, going 2-for-2 in his first tournaments to win $12,000, giving him the bankroll with which, perhaps unknowingly, he would embark on a new career.

Since Schwartz’s making the WSOP final table, his father has been in touch to be his best friend, and he has basically told him to fuck off.

These are the kind of compelling stories that will come out, regardless of what we in the poker media do or do not have to say about it. And this is why, prediction here: the Live-ish broadcast of the WSOP main event final table on ESPN will be a huge ratings hit.

Remember, the Olympics spends four years and billions of dollars generating, at best, a few months of hype around a few weeks of activity. By scale, it’s only realistic to expect a few months of work (and a few million dollars?) to generate just a few days of hype around an event that takes place over a day-and-a-half.