Pauly and Benjo escape from the bitter gray snow of NYC to report from the high-70s breezes and clear ocean skies of Paradise Island at the Atlantis Resort, where what looks to be the biggest poker tournament outside of the United States in all of history — the 2009 PCA — is getting underway. If poker is dying, that word clearly hasn’t made it yet to the Bahamas.

Follow the on-table action at PokerStarsBlog, and the off-table adventures at Tao of Poker and LV-OTR. Or just listen to Pauly’s report for a conchilicious taste of all the pokery gayness goodness going down right now in the Bermuda Triangle as the ever-French Benjo threatens to disappear sans a contract for podcast big-bucks:

Book 8: The Islanders
Episode 8.1: International Hotspot 3:25

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Inspiring shit over at Tao of Poker — with reports from the LAPT’s ill-fated venture into Nuevo Vallarta. Shame on me for not considering the imminent dangers … as I forgot whom we’re dealing with here:

Someone suggested that we remove our badges. For a couple of moments, I was on edge and extremely concerned at the safety of Change100 and myself and my fellow media reps like Owen, Otis, Joe, Alex, and everyone else. I never thought that I’d get tossed into prison in Mexico for a non-drug charge. Then I got really freaked out. The federalies wouldn’t throw me in jail. They’d whack me. Journalists are the enemy in third world countries and forty-five journalists were killed in Mexico since 2000. According to Reporters without Borders, Mexico is considered the most dangerous country for journalists with the exception of Iraq.

In the end there would be no gunfire, but a tense standoff between an international poker company and a shady second-world gov creates a pretty dramatic look at the sociopoliticonomic world we live in — with nearly a million dollars in play, one side walks into a trap, while the other shoots itself in the foot … everyone else scrambles in the crossfire.

Click here to get the full story of Otis’ Amazing 35th Birthday Party.

It’s now official, the LAPT tournament at the Marival Resorts and Suites in Nuevo Vallerta, Mexico has now been canceled according to Dr. Pauly over at Pokernews.

How it’s being resolved is that the remaining 89 players (among them Greg Raymer and Victor Ramdin) will evenly chop the prize pool, meaning they’ll each take home about $7,000 got $5,000 from the prize pool, with the remaining prize pool given to the players based on their chip count, plus an additional $500 from Pokerstars for their troubles. Expect a more official statement at Pokerstars.com in the very near future.

Update: Pokerstars released the following statement on their LAPT site:

The Latin American Poker Tour (LAPT) confirms that it is cancelling the poker tournament in Nuevo Vallarta, Mexico, due to an indefinite suspension served on one of its local partners.

The LAPT states it has cooperated fully and in good faith with the requirements outlined by the Mexican government. The LAPT respects and abides by local regulations in each market.

LAPT’s partner in Mexico obtained a formal ruling from the Mexican Ministry of the Interior (SEGOB) allowing the event to take place. As the LAPT compiled with every rule stipulated by the Code of the Mexican Federal Law of Games and Raffles, the reasons for suspension are being reviewed by lawyers of all parties.

Pokerstars’ Latin American Poker Tour’s first visit to Mexico may be its last. Play started on Friday with 242 players paying $2,500+200 to play at the Marival Resort in Nuevo Vallarta, Mexico. It appears that corrupt government officials weren’t paid off there were some sort of procedural issues that weren’t completed (there are no casinos in Mexico, so Pokerstars apparently had to get a waiver for this tournament). Play was suspended late Friday with 89 players remaining in the tournament with the hope that play will resume at noon local time Saturday. Pauly is down there right now, doing live updates and reporting for Pokernews, so expect more on this developing story throughout the day.

I caught a glimpse of the economic crunch on the streets of Las Vegas. Construction projects halted. Rusted steel beams shot out of concrete blocks on unfinished architectural superstructures. The vertical ghost towns cluttered the Las Vegas skyline. The illumination of Sin City, once glorious and majestic as the morning light at the dawn of the new day, has been dulled by a morass of financial gloom, so much so that even the languorous hookers were bitching. Shit, everyone was bitching. Cocktail waitresses. Poker dealers. Cab drivers. Valets. And even the crackling snaps of pamphlets from the porn slappers seem a little sullen these days.

– Tao of Poker

You know what, fuck this “Pauly’s the Hunter Thompson of Poker” shit. Woo-woo, I’m a tortured writer who does lots of drugs to share my twisted vision of the world with the world [/whine] … all so you’ll play $10 tournaments on PokerStars … Saturday’s with Dr. Pauly! — and then we can bet more on FantasySportsLive! [/excitement] It’s seems to me like a pathetic cover for life as a (balding) professional shill.

OK, maybe I’m just bitter — because one of my best pals called me a “cooler”. Do you realize how damaging that can be to a guy who scratches out his living as “The Ernest Hemingway of Gambling” a casino hanger-on? Granted, it really did happen for like 6 hands in a row that whomever I stood behind was guaranteed to lose at pai gow — and when I courteously left to play craps for the first time in two years, not only did I blow $93 in about 7 minutes, but also I literally killed the table … messed up a “hot roller” by improperly placing a bet and impeding a flying die with my hand … re-roll … and from there it was craps, craps, craps — seven out — until all the other players left the table rolling their eyes in gambler’s disgust. Ha-ha, luck is funny.

But all is not fun and games here in Vegas these days — in America, really; but the morale-shift seems accentuated in Sin City, where just about every hooker has lost at least one home in the desert suburbs to foreclosure. So it’s not all about me, but I get to be the Set-up Guy (nice) … and it’s definitely not all about poker: DPauly just happens to be journaling life on a road speckled with tables, where he sees the American lives in the face of severe economic downturn — the human condition amid stormy weather — as revealed ever clearly through the teats and mouths of an aggressive pack of 3rd Millineium Mary Magdalenes.

An especially worthwhile two-part read this week on Tao of Poker.

And, of course, though not as good (my appearance didn’t make the cut), you can get the audiobook version here.

Mr. Peanut demanded too much money to call the opening cards in the air, so the WSOP got Michael Buffer instead.

As the 2008 WSOP was coming to a close a few days ago, Pauly and I couldn’t help but notice that there seemed to be no new sponsors that weren’t already around for in the summer. Disappointing, sure — but maybe it’s just the general economy?

I began to speculate that WSOP marketing honcho Tye Stewart must be in BIG trouble, dude! couldn’t have been too happy that the most celebrated deal inked between July and November was an extended contract with Johnny Chan’s All In Energy Drink. About 10 minutes later, though, Jeffrey Pollack was speaking to the crowd, giving specific thanks and extreme kudos to Stewart as the successful, hard-working architect of the The November Nine vision. And indeed, we now know the broadcast returned some admirable TV numbers; and even as players got eliminated, there were lines of people in the Rio hallways to fill the Penn & Teller Theater’s 1,200 seats. So maybe now, with something definitive to sell potential backers in the future, what looked a little disappointing while riding up and down the escalators is actually a sign of better things to come?

Below is a pictorial look at some added value for official WSOP banners (and inflatables) in action:

More…

Keep Floppin’ Aces, on RoundersRadio. Lou Krieger’s guest will be none other than my own podcast co-homie, Dr. P. He tells me:

Our topics will be the WSOP final table and November Nine in Las Vegas and if we have time, we’ll chat about my experiences in London and Budapest.

There’s also a call in number if you want to ask any questions…. 810-496-3428.

Usually I don’t listen to these things live — I generally let Shamus direct me to the best episodes and download the podcast. But I happen to be in front of the computer right now, and the Chicago-Columbus MLS Cup playoff game is plenty exciting with just the video, little sound. (Currently 1-0 Chicago in the 40th minute; great uniform match-up, too — bright red vs. bright yellow.)

If you are seeing this after the fact, you’ll be able to find the full episode for your podcast pleasure here a couple days from now.

UPDATE: Chicago 1 – 2 Columbus in stoppage time. Great game — so many beautiful shots and tackles — but doh!

Pauly and I have some side-action … on which dealer is going to deal the final hand.

I’ve got homegirl Linda Tran, of course (who goes on in the third down) and Lou the old white guy.

He’s got Jena Phillips (2008 WSOP Dealer of the Year, who’s on now, in the first level), and Anthony Shawn the black guy.

All bets are off if the young white guy ends up pitching the winner/loser.

We’re thinking of additional side action based on whether or not the last hand is a bad beat, bad call, or a straight-up winner with cards falling the way they’re supposed to.

UPDATE: We’ve learned only three dealers are in play — Jenna, Linda, and Lou. Advantage Michalski.

ALSO UPDATE: Pauly and Otis have way more prop bets going on the types of hands that will win and lose the money, whether or not the opening hands of levels will be walks, etc. This prop bet is merely a little extra action for Dr. Baller — but hey, I don’t mind competing on a JV level in this world! (This world of final table heads-up action prop bets; not this world Earth.)

Either that or Peter Hellmuth. As we wind down the day yesterday and look forward to tonight’s action, that’s what’s at stake — either we’ll have a new youngest main event champion ever, or the Ruskies will have a new national hero. Meanwhile, Dan gets his facts wrong, but does Pauly even care when he can’t see the final f-in table?

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.10: Ivan Moneymaker 3:29

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I go rogue to bring you the bustout of David “Chino” Rheem — supposedly the most serious pro at the table, but also the guy with the most serious criminal record. Dude knows how to play hardball, though, as we’ve all seen him on ESPN get hella lucky to get here, and the (unconfirmed) word buzzing around the room is that he was a contract holdout with PokerStars, reportedly threatening not to wear his gear without more money attached to it. To be sure, much of this is just rumor second-hand from quasi-reliable sources, but on Tao of Pokerati — especially without Pauly to keep me in check and Benjo to keep it funny — does that really matter?

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.6: Poker Rogue 1:05

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5 am: The prop-betting evolves … as Pauly discovers (much to Benjo’s dismay) the Hungarian offshoot of lime tossing: trying to hit bums with apple cores. The ethically questionable game of skill comes up as Pauly is on prop-bet tilt after losing a scaled down apple bet. From there, the good doctor and his Euro-conscience debate what games of bum abuse may or may not be acceptable.

Book 3: Budapest (w/ Benjo)
Episode 3.4: Euro Core-tossing 3:17

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Prop bets among the international press break out at the EPT afterparty, and, of course, Benjo and Pauly are there to moderate/get in on the action. The big bet comes when Matt Showell challenges his PokerListings colleague Rod Stirzaker‘s claim that he can eat 50 apples in 90 minutes. Legal concerns emerge (what’s the rule on a prop bet that leads to death?) before it turns into a scavenger hunt to find 50 edible Granny Smiths at 3:30am in Budapest.

Book 3: Budapest (w/ Benjo)
Episode 3.3: Competitive Apple Eating 4:08

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The post-EPT-Budapest shenanigans continue as Benjo and Pauly discuss whorehouses and the Tarantino-esque experiences of French and Scandi bustouts with Hungarian women-for-hire. A tad of religious guilt kicks in as the poker media duo contemplates the Day of the Dead on the Danube.

Book 3: Budapest (w/ Benjo)
Episode 3.2: Hungarian Hooker Halloween 4:14

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If you’re like me and scrambling for more action on the election before results start coming in … (Pauly’s not returning my emails/phone calls right now; he gets this way with friends on meth binges, too) … check out this site, which takes a sports online-poker-geek’s look at handicapping political races and making electoral projections. (via Thrillist Chicago)

Though it might be hard to get action on the presidential election this late in the game, there are still plenty of Senate races in play … and 538 breaks those down, too.

Pauly heads to Hungary for EPT Budapest with Benjo, and unexpectedly hosts Johnny Lodden, winner Will Fry, and other final tableists in his flat for some celebratory 420 and beer — giving insight into the much heralded EPT circuit experience, the value of Hungarian forints, and “dodgy” Euro strip clubs.

Book 3: Budapest (w/ Benjo)
Episode 3.1: EPT Afterparty 3:39

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Happy Birthday, Benjo
20,000 forints