Your WSOP Experience is hardly complete without a drink or seven at the notorious Rio hooker bar … and while I skipped out early on post-coronation festivities, Pauly stuck around to yuk it up with Otis and Howard (from PokerStarsBlog.com, and England). Frightening observations of obese depravity lead to existential musings on the pathetic existence of all who domicile in Vegas (umm …) and while the trio don’t talk with Peter Eastgate as he walks through the Rio casino eerily alone for a guy who just won $9 million, they do interview one of the working girls … and before you know it they’re negotiating a deal to shoot a tag-team porno, all of which eventually deteriorates into threats of a lawsuit.

Hey, that’s just how things float early after sunrise on a Wednesday morning at the Rio.

Book 5: Tao of Hooker Bar

Episode 5.1: Boundless Nature, Las Vegas
6:05

Episode 5.2: Hurricane of Hookers
7:25

Episode 5.3: Cage-Savvy Coochie
3:05

Keep Floppin’ Aces, on RoundersRadio. Lou Krieger’s guest will be none other than my own podcast co-homie, Dr. P. He tells me:

Our topics will be the WSOP final table and November Nine in Las Vegas and if we have time, we’ll chat about my experiences in London and Budapest.

There’s also a call in number if you want to ask any questions…. 810-496-3428.

Usually I don’t listen to these things live — I generally let Shamus direct me to the best episodes and download the podcast. But I happen to be in front of the computer right now, and the Chicago-Columbus MLS Cup playoff game is plenty exciting with just the video, little sound. (Currently 1-0 Chicago in the 40th minute; great uniform match-up, too — bright red vs. bright yellow.)

If you are seeing this after the fact, you’ll be able to find the full episode for your podcast pleasure here a couple days from now.

UPDATE: Chicago 1 - 2 Columbus in stoppage time. Great game — so many beautiful shots and tackles — but doh!

The 2008 WSOP has come to an end, and with crews tearing down the set … Pauly and I give our after-the-fact analysis of heads-up play and The November Nine Experiment.

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.14: That’s a Wrap 3:49

You can’t’ tell from the groovin’ tunes in the background, but Pauly y yo are in the PT Theater as the heads-up battle is just one hand from completion — and I’m suffering from severe WSOP separation anxiety tech tilt as Pokerati goes offline at a fairly critical time, presumably at the hands of loyal Tao of Pokerati listeners. (Bastards.) From there we speculate on the future of the WSOP’s relationship with Milwaukee’s Best Light, particularly in light of a pretty major biz merger we missed during the start of the regular WSOP.

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.13: Web Player Down! 4:53

Pauly and I discuss what goes into becoming a WSOP final-final table dealer, his crazy series of prop bets with Otis, Lou the Dealer’s up-close observations about the heads-up action (both were nervous, and Peter Eastgate kept messing up his bets in early hands), and the Linda Tran vs. Jena Phillips controversy, both of us unaware that Lou (my pick) would end up winning the side-action on who deals the final hand a few hours later.

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.12: Dealer or No Dealer? 3:31

If you’re just tuning in and/or need something to pass the time between episodes of Tao of Pokerati … there is a live audio broadcast of what’s going on at the felt — hosted by Nick Geber, who is joined now by Lacey Jones and Daniel Negreanu. Click here to tune in. (With cool chipstack/blind ticker on display, too.)

Also at WSOP.com … Commish Jeffrey Pollack is back to blogging.

UPDATE: Daniel is talking about Eric Morris’ “ass cleavage”. Yikes.

ALSO: This slightly delayed (10 minutes maybe?) audio coverage is really good. Some Russians have written in saying it’s allowing them to follow their man Ivan Moneymaker/Demidov.

When the security guys came out with the money in silvery aluminum briefcases — 9 million semi-real American dollars — a few of us in media row joked about telling the story that the guys left at the final table had decided to chop up the remaining prize pool and play for it Deal or Ne Deal style. (Ha ha, we are so damn funny.) But on this episode of Tao of Pokerati, Pauly and I take the issue a bit more seriously, and break down what’s really at stake for Ivan and Peter — who became friends recently playing on the EPT on PokerStars’ dime — beyond just the $3.34 million in prize differential between 1st and 2nd.*

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.11: Deal or No Deal? 5:33

*I don’t care what anyone says … that’s not enough money to justify an even chop, I don’t believe. And kudos to tourney organizers for breaking down the prize pool in such a way that it mathematically would mathematically make little sense (on the surface, at least).

Either that or Peter Hellmuth. As we wind down the day yesterday and look forward to tonight’s action, that’s what’s at stake — either we’ll have a new youngest main event champion ever, or the Ruskies will have a new national hero. Meanwhile, Dan gets his facts wrong, but does Pauly even care when he can’t see the final f-in table?

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.10: Ivan Moneymaker 3:29

Ylon Schwartz check-raises with nothing into the nuts of Peter Eastgate, and Pauly and I begin the countdown and begin speculating on what two Eurokids (and maybe even Dennis Phillips) will mean for poker/PokerStars … and where poker is in Europe these days. But are Russians dead money or just scary? Maybe a little bit of both? Plus advanced blogging strategy by Dr. Pauly.

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.9: The Novembrists 5:31

Upon reaching the Final Four, Pauly coins Dennis Phillips as “Mr. F-in’ Rollercoaster”, and from there we look at the strategy in play, make assessments of the time (and playing styles) it will take to get to the final two, and officially declare victory for PokerStars.

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.8: Livin’ on a Prayer 4:57

At dinner break, Dr. Pauly and I discuss Chino Rheem’s bustout interview and its political inspiration, along with PokerStars’ domination over Full Tilt. (Four Stars players left, one Full Tilter.) In fact, there’s even a rumor we start discuss about PokerStars’ intentions to start its own country — which would be theoretically feasible, and would probably have the best prisons.

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.7: Pokerstarzistan 2:04

I go rogue to bring you the bustout of David “Chino” Rheem — supposedly the most serious pro at the table, but also the guy with the most serious criminal record. Dude knows how to play hardball, though, as we’ve all seen him on ESPN get hella lucky to get here, and the (unconfirmed) word buzzing around the room is that he was a contract holdout with PokerStars, reportedly threatening not to wear his gear without more money attached to it. To be sure, much of this is just rumor second-hand from quasi-reliable sources, but on Tao of Pokerati — especially without Pauly to keep me in check and Benjo to keep it funny — does that really matter?

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.6: Poker Rogue 1:05

Last Woman Standing Tiffany Michelle shows up and gets an unwarm reception from the crowd, perhaps inspiring her to play up her “bad girl” image? Oooh.

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.5: Boo Berry 4:18

The action picks up, with Craig Marquis and Kelly Kim busting out … Kim had some of the best fans, and for Marquis, it’s all sickness … sick to go out when he did, sick to go out how he did, and as a result, he goes home with nada, or at least nada más. Kim, on the other hand, has an extra $300k … and we can only assume his friends and fans are out celebrating that achievement.

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.4: Bustin’ Outs 2:43

I’m having some trouble with properly title-ing this stuff … but follow along, as “Book 4″ is definitely the event going on here at the Penn and Teller Theater that we are discussing. This time, Pauly and I witness a double-up by Kelly Kim, much to his fans delight, who are suddenly fueled with new hope for a better poker day.

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.3: Double Up! Double Up! 1:20

UPDATE: Kelly Kim just busted out in 8th place … $1.28 million. Nice job, nice guy.

As action gets underway, Pauly and I check out the crowds and the difference in expectation between Dennis Phillips’ and Kelly Kims’ fans before debating the name of the whole shebang — November Nine, bleh — while paying homage to Robin Leach and noting that the PBR Rodeo, which is also in town, is going nuts over the chance for a cowboy to win $1 million. Puhlease.

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.2: Root, Root, Root for the Short Stack 3:17

Pauly and I are back … watching the biggest sit-n-go in the history of poker, very live-ish from the Penn & Teller Theater in the Rio. As fans were filing in, chips were being unbagged, and 4 months of semi-hyped anticipation was getting underway, we are nice guys looking to share our observations with you.

Book 4: WSOP Final Table
Episode 4.1: WSOPenn & Teller 2:04

5 am: The prop-betting evolves … as Pauly discovers (much to Benjo’s dismay) the Hungarian offshoot of lime tossing: trying to hit bums with apple cores. The ethically questionable game of skill comes up as Pauly is on prop-bet tilt after losing a scaled down apple bet. From there, the good doctor and his Euro-conscience debate what games of bum abuse may or may not be acceptable.

Book 3: Budapest (w/ Benjo)
Episode 3.4: Euro Core-tossing 3:17

… even though the dudes from PokerListings think so when they drink. If competitive eating were to become the next poker, though, it would probably be fun to see the field whittled down to a “final table”.

For those interested in seeing a real competitive eater at work, I interviewed Rich LeFevre, aka “The Locust”, as he successfully gulped down The Ultimate Steak at Brand (nice, fancy-ish steakhouse at the Monte Carlo) — a 120oz porterhouse (with sides) that usually feeds six, but is free if it feeds one and you clean your plate.

It took LeFevre 40 minutes, and that was with me peppering him with questions all the while:

As far as life on the competitive eating circuit goes, LeFevre looks back to the golden days of 2005, when he competed in 26 events and won $35,000. Clearly this dude could make way more money via prop bets as a competitive-eating hustler … but considering that he asked for ice cream after he finished devouring 8 pounds of steak, a pound of potatoes, and an similar volume of creamed spinach, you can tell he does it just for the love of the “sport”.

More…

Prop bets among the international press break out at the EPT afterparty, and, of course, Benjo and Pauly are there to moderate/get in on the action. The big bet comes when Matt Showell challenges his PokerListings colleague Rod Stirzaker’s claim that he can eat 50 apples in 90 minutes. Legal concerns emerge (what’s the rule on a prop bet that leads to death?) before it turns into a scavenger hunt to find 50 edible Granny Smiths at 3:30am in Budapest.

Book 3: Budapest (w/ Benjo)
Episode 3.3: Competitive Apple Eating 4:08

The post-EPT-Budapest shenanigans continue as Benjo and Pauly discuss whorehouses and the Tarantino-esque experiences of French and Scandi bustouts with Hungarian women-for-hire. A tad of religious guilt kicks in as the poker media duo contemplates the Day of the Dead on the Danube.

Book 3: Budapest (w/ Benjo)
Episode 3.2: Hungarian Hooker Halloween 4:14

For those who don’t recall … Benjo is the French poker-media-y writer-friend who might absolutely suck at writing for all we know. He carries with him a pent-up anger about being French, knowing that his ethnic heritage means none of his friends have actually read his shit. Here’s a best-of mashup from his appearances on Tao of Pokerati during the WSOP this summer, which Pauly turned into a YouTube filmstrip about hookers:

Pauly heads to Hungary for EPT Budapest with Benjo, and unexpectedly hosts Johnny Lodden, winner Will Fry, and other final tableists in his flat for some celebratory 420 and beer — giving insight into the much heralded EPT circuit experience, the value of Hungarian forints, and “dodgy” Euro strip clubs.

Book 3: Budapest (w/ Benjo)
Episode 3.1: EPT Afterparty 3:39

Happy Birthday, Benjo
20,000 forints

Pure conspiracy theory … inspired by the winner’s pic of “Harold and” Vivek Rajkumar proudly displaying his WSOP WPT bracelet at the Borgata. Without even a rumor to base this on (just circumstantial observations and wild speculation) I called Pauly hoping we could start one. Pauly was in London after covering the entirety of the last WPT event in Atlantic City, and had a brief stop-over in Amsterdam, which I figured put him in the exact right frame of mind to feel the rhymes I was droppin’ … and sure enough, by the time our jam was done we’d have Full Tilt moving in on PokerStars’ brick-and-mortar territory by bailing out Steve Lipscomb & Friends in an effort to challenge the EPT.

So you heard it here first … be sure to spread the word:

Tao of Pokerati: Episode 2.1
WPT Bailout Rumors (7:28)

Just got back on the grid and playing electronic catch-up … here are some of the things that are making good browser viewing, but not quite stimulating a full-fledged post:

Jay Busbee (from Bluff) has a good State of the Poker Union address on ESPN.com, where he officially declares the poker boom dead. Also interesting to see ESPN, for the first time I remember in a long-long while, running (non-affiliate) PokerStars ads. [ESPN.com]

Poker Shrink Cranky Olde Coot has a good post wondering why FIDPA still hasn’t made the “new rules” they’ve long ballyhooed public. [PokerBlog.com]

Full Disclosure: FIDPA is one of my MySpace friends. [MySpace.com]

Liberal columnist Michael Kinsley shares a story about John McCain going on some extremely unpresidential tilt at the craps table. (The TJ Cloutier of Politics? Tons of success, a sometimes dangerous love of craps, and never quite able to win the Big One?) [The Daily Beast, via Huffington Post, via Short-Stacked Shamus]

Beyond the Table has a new home online. [Podcast.com]

I think Dr. Pauly’s starting to get a little miffed at me for not working out some production kinks and posting our re-constituted incarnation of Tao of Pokerati, but I think I can make him feel better by simply reading his blog. [Tao of Poker]

With all the talk of what really goes into a world-record endurance poker session, I forgot to send y’all to live-forum coverage of The Poker Den 3 — PartyPoker’s 36-hour high-stakes televised cash game. [MatchroomPoker.com]

Dutch Boyd apparently bought Steve Hall’s Pokerfolio in a semi-hostile takeover. Poor Steve … but he has found a new home for his poker updates/pictures of attractive Asian female dealers. [Pokerfolio.Spruz.com]

Also, the X-10 electronic table — a knock-off of the PokerTek PokerPro popping up in so many places — sharing the same name as a hidden camera used by so many pervy peeping toms before a few lawsuits encouraged them to re-market themselves as a security device. [SlipperyBrick.com]

And long overdue, here’s a great tale of a totally degenerate poker blogger/gambler rescuing his bankroll by poetically chasing/hitting the Station Casinos bad-beat jackpot. [TheTrooper97, via Up for Poker]

There’s more, too, coagulating in my bookmarks and inbox. News stories, forum threads, tourney results … Who knows … maybe I’ll get to them for your reading pleasure, but as is always the case from Head Slacker at this Little-Ole Poker Blog, no promises. It’s good to be back with you all.

LATE ADDITIONS:

Lacey Jones is getting ready for her co-hosting duties of Real Deal, the pokery interactive musical at The Venetian, which kicks off next week. [PokerListings.com via LasVegasAdvisor.com]

She also hosted an interesting event at Cathouse (as simply Lacey J) where women showed up for a seductive-attire contest where the winner got a boob job. [Photobucket.com]

Meanwhile, there was a hardcore SWAT-team poker raid in Fayetteville, NC. A firsthand account as well as some non-poker media coverage here and here. [Triangle Poker Journal]

Episode 7 of The Hard-Boiled Poker Radio Show

Click here to listen/download

This show is the antithesis of Beyond the Table when it comes to intellect, humor, and style, and at a well-produced hour long — some of it reading of books about poker philosophy and literature — it’s pretty much the opposite of Tao of Pokerati, time- and speed-wise. And yet for some reason, as I’m waiting for my turn to call in to a non-poker conference call and am catching up on filing, I love it. Think it has something to do with sitting alone in the office and not being the smartest person in the room.

The 2008 World Series has come and gone and will most likely, in a little less than three months, will come again. In the meantime, while cleaning out the computer(s) we’ve come across these “lost” episodes … recorded in the tail days of the main event. But this is everything … there’s no more, OK? At least not for now. So if you’d like to step back into the WSOP for just a few minutes at a time to the vocal stylings of yours truly and Dr. Pauly, by all means, have a listen/download. Some of it actually seems a little extra interesting with the benefit of a month-or-so of hindsight.

For the entire WSOP season click here.

The heretofore unheard old-new episodes, salvaged from the cut-and-pasting room floor:

Episode 30: The Cost of Donuts
Grubby joins the media to talk main event numbers and the price of trendy donuts in today’s oil economy. (3:19)

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Episode 31: Scotchy Poker
Dan+scotch early in the WSOP day=talk of Dario Minieri and Isabelle Mercier. (4:02)

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Episode 32: French Warfare
Benjo takes over the mic when Dan calls in drunk, and he and Pauly talk more about Isabelle Mercier live from the Day 2 killing fields. (5:14)

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Episode 33: New York & Texas
Michele Lewis joins in as Dan and Pauly break down the difference between Texas and New York humor, or at least the difference between Pauly and Dan. (2:40)

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Episode 34: Go Team!
Dallas’ Raj Kattamuri is going deep, and Pauly tracks down Dan in the poker kitchen to find out what it takes to be patched up on Team Pokerati. (2:37)

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Episode 35: No Wiener
Benjo is not his usual jovial self as the main event comes to a close and he bids farewell to his American friends in the penultimate WSOP episode of Tao of Pokerati. (4:41)

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Episode 36: Unhookered
The traditional late-late night poker-blogger farewell binge drinking at the Rio’s Hooker Bar, with guest appearances by Otis and Mean Gene. (3:29)

photo: Jen Browning

Shame on me. On August 5, I was wishing the best to my good friends at PartyPoker, who turned 7 years old last week. But I forgot about Pauly – a presumably better friend and fellow blogger and my personal podcast partner and guy whom I speak with regularly and read sometimes as much — whose poker blog, Tao of Poker, celebrated its 5th birthday on that very same day.

(Yeow Yao, sorry dude, I’m not too good with birthdays unless MySpace reminders are involved.) But yo, happy B-day, man … and thanks for all the weed inspiration, ass-kickings, and entertainment you’ve provided all these years.

While I don’t think any of the poker-blogging “old dogs” ever thought when they started that they’d still be around after five — we gotta still be in single digits for the electronic scribes in this niche who have reached that milestone — I’m sure now his fear is that he will still be around when Tao turns 15.

UPDATE: Also happy birthdays to Jennicide (Aug. 10) and Marco Traniello (Aug. 14).

Poker archaeologists recently unearthed this episode of Tao of Pokerati, an ancient recording that carbon-dates back to Day 3 of the main event of the 2008 WSOP. In it, Dr. Pauly and I survey the tournament remains after the slaughter of 6,111 players and speculate on what human life is like so close to the money bubble. Ah, yes, it was a fascinating era — one that witnessed the death of Eric Morris and the survival of Ignacious Rex; a time where players Pauly identifies as “Average Joes” heavily outnumbered “unknown” pros like Pat Poels who knew all too well that further bloodshed and eventual extinction was all but inevitable.

Episode 29: Almost in the Money

Photo: Flipchip/LasVegasVegas

This seems as good a time as any to share with you another leftover bonus! episode of Tao of Pokerati … where Dr. Pauly chats with Change100 (his personal fashion yogini) about Tiffany Michelle’s attire before her Ultimate Bet patchwork became such a major wardrobe malfunction. It’s sickeningly cute as this pokerblogging duo draws the fine line between rocker-chick chic and Tijuana hooker — and further fashion analysis tries to differentiate between the new-money stylings of Alexander Kostritsin, typical “online douchebag” and Mean Gene, and the poker-prep ways of Shronk and Brandon Adams.

Tao of Pokerati
Episode 28.5: Fashion Report (feat. Change100)

Pauly’s got up a great recount up of our whole Tao of Pokerati experience at the WSOP. But guess what, we’re not done yet … still have a few more episodes to share with you, and Brian Balsbaugh and Oliver Tse our agents are in negotiations with French authorities over possible continuation of the show.

Meanwhile, one leftover episode — actually it’s a 6-minute double-episode — that seems particularly timely with the benefit of hindsight was recorded from the dead-center of an emptied out Amazon room, shortly after Tiffany Michelle busted out in 17th place. Here Dr. Pauly and I survey the atmospheric damage as “the last hope” of the main event exits the building … and I argue that she was the only one of the final 27 players with true Chris Moneymaker potential — meaning her performance wasn’t so much about her own abilities to win big cash as it was about the future of poker. Comparisons to Scotty Nguyen and college basketball as well, before one of your not-so-gracious hosts goes through severe WSOP separation anxiety.

Episode 28: Exit, Stage Tiffany

I continue to work the hallways and set up executive-journo shop this time outside the payouts cage — where Pauly teaches me how to figure out who’s really backing whom … but not before we get distracted by a player sponsorship deal taking shape right before our very eyes, as a PartyPoker representative exchanges pleasantries with guys who clearly love the show Entourage agents from Poker Royalty. (Nothing would become of these pre-negotiations, however, as the lone remaining PartyPoker player would go from chip leader to out in 71st place in less than a day — falling just 62 spots short of the ever-valuable final table that various poker bizzers are jockeying for a piece of.)

Episode 27: Payouts and Payoffs

Recorded a couple days ago, as we were nearing the bubble … Benjo dropped by Tao of Pokerati studios to give his opinion on poker agents (they suck the blood out of the poker economy), France’s best WSOP hopes (they’re all gonna make the money), and how bad at poker Polacks are (can’t even win their own tourneys … zee eediotes).

Episode 26: Agents, Frenchies, and Polacks (feat. Benjo)