He finished in 45th place, paying $154,400. It’s all probably Jen’s fault. I suspect the 10-4suited will now be wielded like The Hammer against Hellmuth only, and will become his kryptonite, impeding his effort to dodge bullets baby.

The people remaining that you may or may not care about:

Tiffany Michelle (Go MySpace friends!)
Mike Matusow (Go MySpace friends!)
Brandon Cantu (Go Jen’s MySpace friend!)
Gert Andersen
Kido Pham (Go Dallas Poker/MySpace friends!)

UPDATE: Kido rode a tournament roller coaster extremely deep, but in the end he got flung in 41st place, also for $154,400 — about the size of a big-ass pot in the 25/50 PLO game at the old Red Man’s in Dallas.

The World Series isn’t the only poker going on in the world right now — and Karridy tried to remind us of that with Pokerati’s new Citizen Stack Reporter thingy (beta - come join the fun with our shiny new toy!). The text he sent in that didn’t quite make it on the first go-round (but will now and in the future):

3 of the BTT cast are at a charity tornament in Dallas vying to win a WSOP entry. The TD tells us that Home Depot donated a $100 (!?) hammer for any player who takes one down with Dan’s favorite hand. As its announced, a guy to my left says “sounds like one of Dan’s ideas”. Turns out that Whit is a pokerati reader and made me from the player list. A few moments later, SnG raises a limped pot with 72o and is rewarded with two pair on the flop. Here’s a pic of SnG just before he asked if there was a receipt.

Perhaps as a reminder of where poker pros really stand when it comes to the celebrity biz (yet also a reminder of just how fun/popular poker fundraisers still are) there was a big-wig charity poker tourney at the Cannes Film Festival that Phil Hellmuth did not host and not a single Full Tilt player competed in. Shocking, I know … especially considering that the event was semi-televised: The Partouche Charity Poker Festival aired live on TV screens throughout the Palm Beach Casino. (Interesting concept, no?) seems like it was turned into a 90-minute souvenir that may or may not be for sale. Very confusing, the televised part.

Woody Harrelson giving his best Phil Hellmuth impression on the red carpet before co-winning the Partouche Charity Poker Festival in France.

The occasion was Dennis Hopper’s big 7-2. Woody Harrelson, star of the latest poker-movie flop, The Grand, ended up chopping the $1 million prize pool with French actress Alice Taglioni.

Because no poker media was there, I can’t really tell you much about the set-up or structure or even how the 50 (?!) cameras were working, but I can tell you that Hopper had a 100kg strawberry sponge cake, and in defiance of French anti-smoking laws, lit up a cigar. Tim Robbins ordered a triple-vodka after what presumably was a bad beat/play … ex-Hollywood flames Salma Hayek and Ed Norton were civil to each other at the table, even though Hayek left without saying goodbye. Adrian Brody and Goldie Hawn rounded out the field, both wearing sunglasses.

Fascinating, I know. Dig/click in a little deeper and you’ll learn that Goldie’s daughter Kate Hudson is done with Owen Wilson and now hittin’ it with Lance Armstrong, who is done with Sheryl Crow who long ago was done with Owen Wilson.

Go Poker Celebrities!

6:02 — Who is this announcer guy? Not too exciting nor comprehensive.

6:03 — Funny, he just made it over to the Tom vs. Gavin table … pointed out that Tom was trailing by “a little more than a few thousand chips.” He then seem confused by why Gavin had some book on the table. “Oops! I Won Too Much Money,” he said over the microphone, surprised to discover the author was right in front of him.

6:05 — “Gavin Smith takes down another nice pot. No one at this table is very afraid,” he said, presumably referring to Tom’s questionable call.

6:06 — Robert Goldfarb is on the other side of the room, not responding to my texts inquiring about what is going on over at his end.

6:09 — Chris Ferguson hits a three-outer on the river … I know see a hot blonde girl standing up and clapping, and am pretty sure that is his modeltastic Brazilian girlfriend.

6:13 — TJ Cloutier shows up and is laughing tickled upon hearing the report from Robert Williamson’s little sister (and favorite Pokerati stalking victim) who informs him that indeed, Hellmuth went out on the third hand. “Heh-heh-ha,” says Cloutier in his Hank-Hill chortle.

6:14 — Oh no! My personal sleeper pick and Arizona Posse-ite Hooman Nikzad is out. He got it all-in with the best, but Greg Raymer turned a set to advance.

6:20 — Tom pushes all-in, Gavin folds … to give the Donkey Bomber a 24k-16k lead. Last time these two played heads-up at the same time, both were competing for WSOP bracelets (in different events). Tom won his match, and Gavin lost his. Just sayin’ …

6:22 — At least two very Hammery flops have come in this 8-match quadrant of first round action. Both 7-7-2 flops have resulted in bets followed by folds. Very interesting.

6:30 — There are seats for about 90 spectators in this makeshift Caesar’s viewing coliseum. Twelve media spots (not counting the dozen or so NBC folks who have the run of the floor.

6:31 — Kenny Tran doubles up against Scott Clements thanks to running clubs. “The turn always gives you extra outs,” the announcer said. No it doesn’t, at least four of us in the room are thinking.

6:33 — Back to counting … there’s standing room only for about a dozen squeezed in around the rails.

6:34 — Greg Raymer can’t seem to leave, even though he’s already one. It’s clear (imho) he’s looking for camera time … not Phil Hellmuth-style for ego … but presumably to get some HD-pixel time for his patch-friends at PokerStars.

6:36 — As Raymer loudly mentioned PokerStars, a headphone-wearing producer woman just informed Fossilman that he was getting in the camera’s way and needed to leave. “Aww, c’mon,” Raymer unsuccessfully plead.

6:40 — Scott Clements’ AK holds up against A7, and California Jen’s pick to win it all moves on.

6:41 — Gabe Kaplan knocks out Antonius.

North Texas fireworks kingpin Ran Nelson brought his tight-aggressive Dallas game recently to the Mandalay Bay.

Though I haven’t been writing much about anything it, I have been hitting the tables here in Vegas. Have sampled a handful of rooms and action … spreading the lore of the Hammer and the Sang all along the way, of course, as I seek to replace the competitive camaraderie of the Batface home game perhaps with something akin to Jackie’s back in the (Dallas underground hey)day.

That came easier than usual this week, when TBR-bro-in-law Patrick came to town. He was staying at the Luxor, so we met up at Cathouse for a drink. (Cathouse is basically like the Lodge without the nipples, and Celeb-chef Kerry Simon in place of Jose Luis.) A couple Lagavulins later, we walked over to Mandalay Bay, where we took two seats together at a $2/$4 no-limit table. This was bigger stakes than either of us had been playing, but hey, we were feelin’ half-drinky good, and it seemed a better option than waiting, as the room was totally full and festive on a Thursday night. A familiar face was seated with us – Ran Nelson, a very good Dallas player whom I hadn’t seen since the days of Jackie’s – what a delight. He had a new cardmarker, a square block of acrylic with his little Stuey guy inside of it, surrounded by chips from the various important poker rooms to Ran, including WinStar in Oklahoma and the old Sixth Street in Dallas.

I was playing great – more-than-doubled up in about an hour by trapping a well-stacked opponent in classic Dan-style … but then was back to square 1 a few hands later when I got unlucky on the turn … and back to square 0 when I don’t remember what I did but I am pretty sure it was stupid, starting with playing the likes of .

Mandalay Bay
$2/$4 NLH
Buy-in: $300
Cash out: $0
Food: starved
Drinks: $28
Net: -$328

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This post is not for 99.997 percent of the readers out there.

But for the guys in the Batface home game … they might find it hardly surprising to know that on Sept. 12 — or right around that day — “sangy farha” started playing (for play money) on Full Tilt. That was the same day of the tournament on Absolute Poker that has since thrown the online poker world into a tizzy. The hand being played that sparked it all: Yep, you guessed it … 9-2 offsuit, aka The Sang, which we all know is kinda like the hammer, only a little bit more powerful.

Because of his connection to the scandal, Drinky Sang may or may not be making future appearances on Beyond the Table as our strategy and psychology correspondent. Click below to listen to Sang’s screen test, recorded on a drive home from The Lodge in a pouring rainstorm.

[display_podcast]

You’ll hear him talk a little final table strategy, discount his monster play-money bankroll online, threaten to kill people, lose his online chat priveliges, question the presence of Tom Schneider’s genitalia, threaten to kill the guys at Ante Up, and fall in love with a wet puppy.

So be sure to tune in to current and future episodes.

The latest episode of Beyond the Table is up. Click to listen. In this week’s festive podcast, you’ll hear:

• Dan misses a meeting … too many responsibilities.
• Karridy on the Mathematics of PokerBowl.
• Update on the Karridy vs. Big Robert music video challenge.
• Tom heads out to the California State Poker Championship.
• The resurgent popularity of douchebags?
• Dan runnin’ bad and old men rollin’ bad in Oklahoma.
• BTT improvements.
• Who is Annette_15 and why wasn’t the WSOP Player of the Year at WSOP-Europe?

And if you missed it last week, click here for the Tom Schneider episode of Ante Up! Lots of real content on this show — too much to list, but you will delight in a German guy’s inquiring about Tom’s fondness for the Hammer and the most fascinating recount of a 7-stud Hi-Lo hand I’ve ever heard.

As expected, the non-poker, non-local media has caught wind of the poker raid in Raleigh — the one in which WPT champion and accomplished pro Michael Gracz was nabbed. [Forbes.]

This sort of coverage always reminds us how unfamiliar the non-poker-playing public is with our issues. Like really, the “game of skill” concept is foreign to them:

“Although skills such as knowledge of human psychology, bluffing, and the ability to calculate and analyze odds make it more likely for skilled players to defeat novices, novices may yet prevail with a simple run of luck,” the appeals opinion said. “No amount of skill can change a deuce into an ace.”

You can’t change a deuce into an ace? The North Carolina Appeals Court clearly doesn’t understand the power of The Hammer.

You know, if he fought his ticket, we could count on some more stories like this one as the misdemeanor case went to court. Just saying’ … Worst case scenario would be that he loses, pays the fine all the same, and still gets “the poker cause” some valuable ink. But odds say he’s very unlikely to be found guilty anyhow. Sounds like a win-win, no? Definitely a negative EV play if Gracz were to fold.

LAS VEGAS–Funny how being in Las Vegas has put me so out of touch with all the poker news. I think there are some big tournaments going on, online poker execs in the courts, business deals shaking down, but I’ve got little to report other than poker being played. Still, it’s been kinda interesting to see who you run into at the tables around this town:

The first notable I ran into was OREL HERSHEISER, who apparently just moved here to Las Vegas and sat to my left in a 1/2 NLH game at RED ROCK — fresh after being denied selection into the baseball HALL OF FAME. I tried to play the not-knowing-who-he-is thing — “You lost a vote? Were you running for city council or congress or something?” — but he would end up busting me out when I tried to run a little STOP-N-GO. As I pushed all-in, he asked, “How much money do you have?”

“Um, I’m all-in. About $140 more,” I said, pointing to my stacks.

“No, I mean other money. Because we can make a little side-bet away from the table,” he said, upon showing me THE NUTS.

Red Rock seems to be the OFF-STRIP place to be. On my second post-WSOP outing there, I ran into GARY THOMPSON — World Series of Poker media master and tournament overlord. He was wearing comfortable jeans, loafers, and a button-down shirt while playing 2/5 NLH. With about $800 in front of him, he said he was “down a couple hundred.” But it wouldn’t take long for him to grow his stacks, and a few hours later, he had moved up to the 5/10 game and had what looked to be about $2k.

On that same day, I saw A GUY I BUSTED at the Rio. He was a good player who went with the whole BLACK HOODIE and SUNGLASSES kinda thing, while saying almost nothing and acting with stoic (but angry) CHRIS FERGUSON-like motions. He was playing 1/2 NLH and nursing about $200.

Over at THE VENETIAN in the 2/5 game, I found myself up against a WSOP Dealer — SHAI the ISRAELI GUY. He was sick when I pushed all-in and convinced him to fold his top-pair-top-kicker that would turn into TOP BOAT … only to see the guy who took down the pot from me win with KING-HIGH. A couple hours later I was playing a goofy hand with K-6 offsuit in late position, the flop came K-7-K … he checks, I bet, he raises big, I call. Turn is a 6, he pushes all-in, I call … at which point he shows his POCKET 7s. The table cheers for a FOURTH SEVEN, but it doesn’t come and I send him to the ATM.

One table over, KARINA JETT’S MOTHER was playing — beyond her typical quiet game, she was practically falling asleep at the table (at 3 AM) while nursing about $400. She may not remember this, but she won a $15 PROP BET from me once over a RULES DISPUTE. (My bad … I thought I knew stuff.)

Back at RED ROCK a couple days later, I ran into ABRAHAM, and he really deserves his own post, because he tilted the table unlike anything I had ever seen — and even managed to invoke mockery from a cute young girl who wasn’t playing. Basically imagine the worst personality and poker characteristics of ME, TIM ROGERS and EON MARSHALL all wrapped up into an obnoxious kid who graduated from high school in 2003 and is well aware that he looks like STU UNGAR. Then give him a lot of chips. (His behavior and play was so table-altering it had me interrupting TOM SCHNEIDER’S vacation in ST. THOMAS for some emergency coaching … who advised me well until I played back without paying attention to a guy to my left who had pocket kings.)

I really wanted to KILL THIS KID, or at least make him cry. And so did everyone else — especially the old (presumably) gay man who he busted by calling a $260 raise pre-flop with 2-3 suited only to flop two threes. But he can’t be all that bad, because without provoking from me, he at one point shouted, “THE HAMMER!” with glee. Hey kid, if you are reading this, what I told you at the table after you “bluffed” me with pocket-5s and then taunted (it took me a good five minutes to lay down Ace-high) still applies: “I look forward to seeing you get your education.” Punk-ass. Like seriously, you had at least two of us at the table contemplating how one might go about rolling you in the parking lot.

One of the cool things about Red Rock is that when you need to shake off a bad beat or just step away from a dipshit the table to refocus, you can go BOWL A GAME 24 hours a day — for $3 +$3.50 for shoes. That seems like positive EV.

The picture above is from a day I didn’t actually play poker … but I did walk through the poker room just for funsies after bowling, and whom should I run into but NOLAN DALLA, longtime Dallas poker expat and WSOP media guru, legendary sports handicapper, and Stu Ungar biographer. He was wearing CARGO SHORTS, a frumpled shirt, and seemed pleasantly drinky while playing 5/10 NLH with a couple old friends from POKERSTARS.

“I’m stuck $800 but having a great time!” he screamed upon embracing me with a BEAR HUG. “Isn’t this a great casino!?! Hey everybody, it’s Dan from Pokerati!”

Murmur?

“Oh, right …” Nolan said. “Didn’t mean to blow your cover.”

I also ran into STEVE HALL one night at Red Rock, too. He was playing PENNY VIDEO SLOTS. He had a big hit of some sort of crazy picture combinations that won him about $60.

And then to top it all off, I went to CAESAR’S PALACE with DON JONES (of Rounder Club fame), LEIGH & BRIAN from the Poker Atlas , DOCTOR STEVE, and former Absolute Poker marketing chick JEN TIDWELL to play in their 50-player-max $65 tourney. We all had 10 percent of each other, which proved irrelevant as our top player would bubble.

I was the first to bust out (of the tournament) and would take a seat playing some 2/5. Of all the poker tables in Las Vegas … what are the chances that DAN BALLENGER (aka HONG KONG SUE, father of SON OF SUE) would get seated at my table? It would take more than a full orbit before he realized he was sitting with a fellow BATFACE. He bought in for $500 and cashed out a couple hours later for a little less than that. HKS got most of those chips from me … calling a $100 bluff with second-pair-no-kicker (what was I THINKING!?!) … and then bluffing me out of a $400+ pot on the river, getting me to lay down aces. He mucked at the time, but told me as he left that he pushed all-in for his remaining $135 with an underpair. Wish I hadn’t asked, because it had me semi-tilting for a good 30 minutes or more. I know he was just trying to be nice, but still …

Then JASON from JACKIE’S (in Dallas) and “RICKY ZILEM” showed up. They were just walking through checking out the action. Fancy running into these guys here. Chris/Ricky, said, “I did what nobody does when they first land in Vegas and took a nap.”

Ah, indeed.

Small world. Good times.

Pokerati commenter Beelzebubba expressing himself at the WSOP with stylish table-time threads.LAS VEGAS–Everybody seems to love those Pokerati jerseys — being modeled by Tom at final tables might help. We think they’re pretty cool, and indeed, as you can see/touch … our good friends at Sadler & Carter do some fine poker embroidery. Not sure if you can get your own — I bet you can if you ask nicely — but I just heard about a pretty funny encounter between Tom Sexton (brother of Mike) and Change100.

Tom Sexton (who sounds just like Mike): “Did you see that shirt Tom Schneider’s got in? It says Pokerati on the front, and Donkey Bomber on the back

OK, so I can’t seem to recast the quote I heard third-hand well enough to pretend I wouldn’t be putting words in his mouth. But basically, in a nutshell, Tom Se. was totally baffled by Tom Sc. wearing the mighty 7-2.

“That just doesn’t make sense,[Vince,]” Sexton said shaking his head. “Seven-deuce?”

Change supposedly tried to explain its power, but he just didn’t get it.

“But that’s the worst hand in poker!”

LAS VEGAS–Tom Schneider is heads-up for his second bracelet of the 2007 WSOP — against Hoyt Verner from Orlando (who finished 8th in this event last year). They go into their mano-y-mano dead even in chips, 570k to 570k. With this guaranteed 2nd place finish, Schneider moves into first place in the WSOP Player of the Year race — a spot he could virtually lock up with a win here.

The two remaining players took off to the bathroom together — theoretically to discuss a deal. But they returned with no unofficial gentleman’s agreement in place, deciding the money differential was small enough to just play for it all as-is.

Money on the line:
1st Place — $147,713
2nd Place — $82,064

UPDATE: Tom is starting to put the beatdown on Hoyt now. Will have to get a little unlucky to lose it here. TJ Cloutier has shown up to watch the action. (He says “hi” to Karridy.)

Tom wins!
First player to win two bracelets in 2007. Goal of making three final tables secured. Nice job — busting out just before the bubble was so 2006.

Headed to AUSTIN in a few hours … cards go in the air on Tuesday for a high-stakes political game that I sure-as-heck don’t wanna miss … $1 billion and the future of Texas Texas Hold’em is on the line. Like seriously. No April foolin’.

LYLE BERMAN, CRANDELL ADDINGTON, MICHAEL BOLCEREK, ERICK LINDGREN, Dallas DA CRAIG WATKINS, CLONIE GOWEN, Pokerati, et al. will be making the push for [tag]HB 3186[/tag] in front of the Licensing and Administrative Procedures committee.

Poker we know can make good TV, and you can find the live House video stream here. I get roughly THREE MINUTES to state my name for the record, tell bad beat stories, and scream “Go Batfaces!”

Hold’em Radio (which started in Austin) has moved into a NEW STUDIO in Las Vegas — at Binion’s, right by the poker room. Very cool! Live poker radio 24/7 and subsequent podcastable shenanigans just got more interesting.

Check this out … seen on I-20, en route to SHREVEPORT … a BAPTIST CHURCH dropping [tag]the hammer[/tag] in a cyber-evangelical effort to save degenerate gambling souls:

Two weeks ago, the GARDAI in NORTHERN IRELAND forced the cancellation of a similar not-so-underground event.

ONLINE GAMBLING is running into some problems in the CZECH REPUBLIC. But the companies behind the betting industry there are circumventing the legal nuisances by setting up shop in MALTA.

OK, circling back the globe … here’s the article (scroll down to the very bottom) … they are now running SATELLITES to the PPT (emphasis added):

Airport Casino Filipino Parañaque will host the first Metro Manila satellite/qualifying tournament for the 3rd Philippine Poker Tour (PPT) Million-Peso Hold’em Championship on March 31, 2007. Registration starts at 1 p.m., and tournament at 2 p.m.

[...]

Details of prize structure and tournament rules for the 3rd PPT Million-Peso Hold’em Championship are posted in the official PPT website, www.PhilippinePokerTour.com.

Meanwhile, POLAND is joining forces with ENGLAND, and I think ITALY … taking steps to officially legalize and regulate online gambling.

Speaking of ENGLAND, they’re getting on the charity poker kick there, too, raising tens of thousands of pounds for kids with learning disabilities via a PARTYPOKER televised event.

In CONNECTICUT, they’re using poker to send Pee Wee baseball players to COOPERSTOWN.

PHIL HELLMUTH is breaking new ground in non-pokery poker marketing … having just signed an ENDORSEMENT DEAL with an energy drink called “Pro Player.”

Could ENERGY DRINKS be the next poker? They’re exploding like online poker rooms in 2005, and there’s too much unregulated profit margin in these arguably addictive chemical products (that teens love!) for the Feds not to eventually take note/want their cut.

Did anyone else catch High Stakes Poker 3 on Monday? It’s a great episode this week … with Mike Matusow, Daniel Negreanu, Phil Ivey, Antonio Esfandiari, Phil Laak, et al. We see David Williams needled for his bling, and he retorts by skillfully wielding “the Sang” (9-2 … kinda like the Hammer, only a wee-bit stronger). And then Yukon Brad Booth shows up and buys in with a cool $1 million in cash, suddenly posing a new threat to Brian Townsend’s fortress of bills. Awesome, great poker.

But the real battle in this episode (which repeats tonight) seems to be taking place off the table — between the two announcers, Gabe Kaplan and AJ Benza. If this is new shtick … well then good job, because it’s pretty entertaining. But even better, you get the sense they truly don’t like each other and are in the midst of a career catfight … especially when Kaplan calls out Benza for having his agent complain about Gabe to GSN.

Benza, is actually a pretty interesting sparring partner for Kaplan. For one, he’s a former blogger for the not-so-poker blog Oddjack. Before that, his broadcasting claims to fame included a studio brawl with Stuttering John (from Howard Stern) that eventually came to blows in the hallway.

Click below to see what Pokeratizens had to say about these two just last month:

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Meanwhile, listen to how this lady plays the Hammer (hint: aggressively) against her son.

You tell me … do you think she’s bluffing?

Click here to hear. (Probably NSFW, FYI.)

ALT HED: The Hammer 911

It’s getting pretty clear that finally, in 2007, the pros are starting to explore the power of the Hammer. You can tell they are still a little tentative with it — and how can you blame them when bricks of money are at stake — but hey, they’ll catch on and figure out the hand’s nuances soon enough.

(Perhaps not coincidentally, I have given up the Hammer for Lent.)

Check it out … on this week’s episode of High Stakes Poker, we get to see both Antonio Esfandiari and Mike Matusow dabbling in the dark arts of 27o. Frankly, neither of the hands are very dramatic … yet both are quite revealing:

ALT HED: Hammer after Dark

Poker bloggers rejoice … this day belongs to us. This whole year, really. May the rest of the world go on tilt and make our wishes come true … at least for a little while. (I plan to celebrate at the home game tomorrow.)

Came upon this Gregorian epiphany while reading this more-important-than-some-might-realize article from Ireland. (Dated 07/02/2007, which is like 02/07/2007 to us.) Anyhow, the story’s about legislative fights in Europe over ISP liabilities … with the head of the London Internet Exchange (LINX) urging ISPs to resist pressure from governments to block various content. Obviously this will be a huge technology issue over the next decade, and leading the way are laws being passed (by Italy and Germany so far) prohibiting access to specific online gambling sites.

The next Hammer Day falls during the World Series, on July 2, 2007 … the same day the 270-day “pre-enforcement” period for the UIGEA expires and the law really kicks into effect. If the banks can’t figure out how to stop online gambling by then, it supposedly falls on the Internet Service Providers to lock us out. And that, you can only suspect, will be a very scary day for a lot of poker-related websites.

After that, we won’t see return of a very Hammery calendar year for another 20 revolutions around the sun.

CORRECTION: The next Hammer Day actually happens in another 20 days, on 2-27. Then the potentially not-so-happy Hammer Day in July … then another one on 7-22 and 7-27. Then we gotta wait another 20 years. So really, a lot can happen, but for obvious reasons we have to move fast.

(LOS ANGELES)–First off, only compliments to the Commerce Casino for the way they run a poker game. The tournament structure is excellent and the dealers are outstanding. Even though the Commerce lacks the luxuries and energy of the Bellagio, their staff is personable and professional. It’s almost like a large professional home game. Everyone seems to know everyone there.

I had fun catching up with Amir Vahedi, who busted out early in the limit event. Chatted with Cyndy Violette (correction: she does not have black streaks). Caught up with fellow mom Karina Jett (she says “hello,” Dan). And the Asian guy with black hair that hit his three outs, knocking me out of the satellite was MINH NGUYEN not Men “the master” Nguyen. It is easy to confuse the two since Men Nguyen translates into John Smith. Did I mention Minh’s guilt? Before finishing the satellite he came over to me with a piece of cake. And by the way…no, I am not a whining player. I take it like a man professional. As for the bust in the limit event…I played with CAMPBELL DAVIS from Dallas.

It looks like I won’t be winning a seat into the WPT main event. My stack was crippled after my A7 was crushed by Mary Jones’ A3. (She won the 2006 WSOP Ladies event.) But our table broke and I quickly grew my 400 into 3200 in three hands. Thanks to a new table where I was no longer receiving 72 (hence the beautiful but dangerously stupid A7 play).

I picked up AK of hearts under the gun and made a standard 3x raise. It folded to the big blind who decided to raise me all in with her AQ offsuit. I flopped a king, she turned and rivered queens. Goodbye Commerce. I busted from the LA Poker Classic Ladies tourney at 10 pm and was back in Houston by 11 am this morning. Whew!

It’s no longer the year of getting there. So what will 2007 bring? A lot of us are wondering …

I was thinking something along the lines of “2007: this one goes to 11.” (British accent, please.) But I just got my first spam of the new year from Live Straddle, and they remind me of another possibility, with a subject line that says, “2007 offsuit, the year of the hammer.” Can’t believe I didn’t see that obvious connection. And so much for my resolution to only play good cards this year.

LAS VEGAS–Once again, the pros almost have the hang of playing this hammer thing. Heads-up in HORSE, Hand #129 … again with the 7-2 suited … there’s the first mistake, but still, Andy is kinda new to blogging; I made a similar mistake when I started out … anyhow, Chip Reese gets it all-in, and Andy Bloch calls … oops, Chip had no idea he was up against the almost-hammer. Alas, Reese turns a straight and doubles up.

LAS VEGAS–Check out my recent post over here (on what eventually looks to be a really good site). In the part where I talk about the Crew all hanging out together in the middle of the HORSE tourney … Scott Fischman was wearing a shirt with 7-2o on the back, and below that the shirt read, “seven-dewey clothing.”

LAS VEGAS–Poker Donkey has been monitoring CardPlayer and writes in with word of another pro trying to wield the hammer:

As seen at www.cardplayer.com during the $1000 rebuy event.

Sat Jul 08 16:24:00 PDT 2006
Williams Flexing
After a pre-flop raise to $750, David Williams goes over the top and make it $3,000 to go. After the original raiser folds, Williams exposes 2d7d, much to the chagrin of his opponent.

– maybe next time it will be offsuit!!!

Speaking of CardPlayer, kudos to Barry Shulman for cracking the whip and continuing to re-improve the new website … it’s starting to get functional again. The green-badge CardPlayer kids, however, are continuing to be assholes. They already have better access than most of the rest of us. And their new thing … when photographers are trying to take pictures of the final table, the guys doing chip counts with their pens and notepads will move in the way of the shot. Nice move, guys. They have done it to me, Otis, Justin, Dan from PokerNews, and others.

I actually think it’s funny — and probably would be doing the same thing if I were a young, underskilled dipshit reporter. And I am having fun needling the “kids.” My new get-rich strategy at the WSOP … get punched by one of them, then sue sue sue! (After all, the super-restrictive credentials say the organization any credentialed media is representing is responsible for various misbehavior.)

Until then, the CP kids are making sure they will almost never earn a hammer pin (something all the bloggers here are wearing) … so they should probably think about that the next time they glare a real writer/photographer’s way.

LAS VEGAS–It’s kinda funny sad seeing the people who are still at the Rio at this hour. Almost no pros I recognized … and no tourney action of course — just an odd assortment of really big stacks and really small stacks, all looking totally beat. Anyhow …

“AMARILLO” SHAWNEE BARTON (from Amarillo) had a commanding chip lead heads-up in the Ladies event. She’s the teaching assistant for JIM MCMANUS’ history-and-literature of poker class … but that didn’t stop her from being overtaken by MARY JONES, who wins the bracelet, about a quarter-mil, and a special watch.

MIMI ROGERS made the money in the Ladies event. So did ANJELA BRUNSON — daughter-in-law of DOYLE.

The $1,000 NLHE event kicked off yesterday — 2,800 entries, 600 of whom were alternates. All players started with 1,500 chips … further breaking the WSOP tradition of $1=$1 in TC.

The hot sauce used on the WINGS in the Poker Kitchen is FRANK’S RED HOT.

The cash games here allow the MISSISSIPPI STRADDLE, i.e. doubling the big blind on the button. And at least one dealer (followed by a floorman) says when that happens, the small blind — not UTG — is first to act pre-flop. Will have to ask LINDA JOHNSON if this is correct.

Between the satellite area and the Poker Kitchen is an enormous ICE MACHINE — three stacks (some 20 feet?) high. It has sprung some sort of leak … big huge puddle in a high-traffic area.

The two most recent bracelet winners from AUSTRALIA — JOE HACHEM and MARK VOS — apparently hate each other. And now they hate each other more. (Via Jen Leo.)

The pros have almost figured out how to play THE HAMMER. In a $50/$100 NL cash game, ANDY BLACK, seated between ANTONIO ESFANDIARI and a guy with huge bricks of Benjamins in his stacks, made a sizable raise into a pot with about $10-12k in it. Mr. BIG STACKS folds, and Black turns over the 2-7 … suited. He then jumps around and gloats … and two other players pay him $200 each because of some previous side action on the hand.

The pros are gettin’ there. Next-time unsuited.

Meanwhile, CLONIE drew a tough table in the $10k Omaha event. TEX BARCH was possibly her weakest opponent.

And down the hallway from the WSOP are a bunch of little TEEN DANCERS competing in leotards. My distorted position: the WSOP is not for kids. Or at least not kids in leotards.

Who knew? Well probably lots of folks, but not Pokerati … DAVID WILLIAMS’ MOTHER, SHIRLEY, competed in the WPBT Summer Classic at CAESAR’S PALACE.

LAS VEGAS–Yesterday’s $2,500 short-handed NLHE final table was a good one, to say the least. Seeing Joe Hachem contend for a second bracelet is the sorta thing we want from our previously unheard of poker champions, right? He joins Greg Raymer in providing validation that poker in the New Millenium — the game we all spend way too much time with — really is a game of skill … skill that can be learned, honed, and developed by the, er, Average Joe.

But still … Hachem doesn’t have a blog. Dutch Boyd, however, does.

So congrats, Dutchy! Sure, a lot of bloggers have given you grief about that “youthful indiscretion” where a bunch of people lost money and your girlfriend got boobs, but hey, that’s in the past. You’re a champion now! And a blogger champion! So seriously, you’re my favorite blogger — always have been. 2006 Baby!

Further evidence that this is the blogger’s year — the Hammer is coming more and more into play. PokerDonkey sends along word of one particular hand:

From the $1500 pot limit event on Friday:

Can Kim Hua raises to $60,000 preflop and Rafe Furst smooth calls. The flop comes Q77 and Hua bets $55,000. Furst makes the call and the turn is the 3. Hua checks and Furst bets $53,000. Hua raises enough to put Furst all in and Furst immediately calls, showing AA. However, Hua turns over the powerhouse hand of 72 and Furst is in need of an ace on the river to stay alive. The river comes out the A and the crowd around the final table erupts. Furst catches a full house on the river to double up and stay alive.

Wow, the Hammer almost cracked aces, as it is designed to do. If Can Kim Hua had a blog, he woulda won the hand.