More Bad Beats-cum-Violent Desires

by , Jul 22, 2006 | 3:19 am

LAS VEGAS–Playing good poker is so friggin’ hard. This time the subject of my ire was a totally affable a-hole who happened to be the big stacks. I was playing so well today. And that meant laying down big hands, effectively value-betting others. For all the good cards I was getting, action was hard to come by, because there were so many other small stacks on the table, and the big stack was obviously good enough to recognize my abilities and steer clear of them. Plus he was distracted by all the Vegas hotties walking by our table en route to one of the MGM’s clubs, and he didn’t want to miss an opportunity to catcall.

So I was patient and patient, and said little as he kept making “-ish” jokes every other hand. (Dude, as if that wasn’t so my schtick in 2005ish.) Then, with a stack of about $360 (on a single buy-in of $200), I finally got my opportunity. The big stack had just gotten significantly bigger a few hands earlier and was playing looser and trying to push people around. I had pocket kings in early position in a straddled pot. The big-stack had straddled, then his buddy min-raised his straddle, and the guy to my right called. I bumped it to $25 … with a certain bravado that screamed “strong means weak!” Five callers, which was fine by me … though I woulda liked a re-raise there, I now faced some pretty easy decisions based on the texture of the flop.

6-4-3 rainbow.

I liked.

I bet out $40, and another good player/Gavin Smith wannabee was falling right into my trap as he made it $100 … obviously thinking he was picking me off. Then the rock — who hadn’t played a hand past the flop in two hours — moved all-in with about $120. Mr-ish Big Stack was good enough to see what was going on (with everyone except me) and he made it $200 to go. Gave the situation proper discentment for a few seconds and moved all-in. I was slightly afraid that the old-man rock had aces — but he didn’t re-re-re-raise pre-flop, so I figured he had queens … and even if I was wrong, I still had the bigger sidepot at my disposal. The other three players (including Gavin) folded.

Sure enough, with more than $1,000 in the middle, I was way ahead … and the rock wasn’t kidding when he said he falls apart after 3 hours, because he had moved in with pocket 5s. The big stack had top pair (sixes) with an 8 kicker. The board paired on the turn (4), and the player to my right tells me he tossed A-6. So I was sitting pretty pretty … until his one-outer came on the river.

God-DAMNit. As now Mr. Monster Stacks laughed and laughed and raked and joked-ish — “Can you believe that guy who hadn’t played a hand all night moved in on a draw?” — I so wanted to punch him in the face. Not terribly so … because the stakes were smaller, I guess. And I knew inside I was playing great poker. The best I have played in the past month, to be sure. And that meant not running over the table … just sitting back and accummulating chips slowly — even when one step forward was met with two steps back — while waiting for the exact right moment to make my move, which I did.

No need to talk about what happened with my second buy-in … Got that all-in less than an orbit later drawing dead.

Buy-in(s): $400 (2)
Cash out: $0
Net: -$400

All I can say is that it’s hard to move up when the Poker Man is keepin’ you down. But that’s OK … I have faith in the Poker Gods.

On the way back to my room I saw a young, hot Latino couple cuddling and kissing by a slot machine. They were both stylish and attractive — in that awesome Vegas Cheesey-Skank way. Aww, how lucky. Then, out of nowhere, She pulled away and started marching off. As he followed her, the dude cocked his arm and swung an air-punch so hard … it barely missed her, as per presumable design … but surely she heard the Doppler effect of his fist (followed by a grunt) and felt the violent air swoosh by the back of her head … his fake punch was that close. In fact, had she stopped and turned around all of the sudden, he woulda clocked her and laid her out flat. But she didn’t even flinch. She just kept moving on, and he kept on following.

Gah-damnit shit fuck cocksucker bitch.

I imagine we were both still muttering pretty much the same thing.

One Comment to “More Bad Beats-cum-Violent Desires”

  1. TommyTwoToes

    keep your head up. take pride in putting your money in consistently with the best hand .. in the end the math will work in your favor.