What happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas

by , Jul 12, 2006 | 5:42 am

LAS VEGAS–I hate text messages, but sometimes I love them. For example, last week Fawcett sent me:

Just saw cloutier at Rio buffet…breakfast of champions.

Good stuff, Scott. You may become a quality blogger after all.

Then, just a few minutes ago, I got a text from Lori the Dealer:

Hey, it’s lori! I’m in vegas, I’m getting married in 2 hours. Those that are here please come join us, otherwise c-ya back home!

Wow. So, um, congratulations, Lori. (!) (?) May the bonds of true love — sealed before Elvis — sweep you through eternity and lead to everlasting bliss. Seriously, congrats. He must be a lucky fella. For everyone else, you have breakfast to stop her.

UPDATE: In response to my text saying, “to whom?!?”, she replies:

I just met him. It was part of gus and I’s deal to come here. Get drunk and marry a random person.

Ahh, now it makes more sense. Granted, husband-to-be still doesn’t have a name, but really … when it comes to pure love, does that really matter?

ALT HED: Dewey Defeats Truman! Bluffing?

15 Comments to “What happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas”

  1. TBR

    How did Shane get back to Vegas so fast?

  2. Sang

    It’s just like “Sleepless in Seatle”, and “National Lampoon’s Vegas Vacation” all rolled into one. I’m tearing up. Find out where they are registered Dan.

  3. Wow

    Are you kdding me? What a goof.

  4. Evil Omaha

    Damn, she couldn’t have done it yesterday so I could witness this charade, I always miss the fun parts. Congrats to the happy(?) couple.

  5. alicia

    Thank GOD it was a joke. I freaked out when I got that message at 5:30 this morning! I sent that same response text message. Maybe she could make some money taking over/under bets on how many she received…

  6. itsoverjonny

    Sorry to disappoint everyone, but since the newly-ordained Man of the Cloth GUS was presiding over the ceremony, I don’t think it’s really legal. I also don’t think any wedding where the rings are held on a maxipad (in lieu of a pillow) is really going to “stick”.

  7. Willie

    Had to put that stick in quotation marks, didn’t you?

  8. PokerGus

    I will be holding services at a bar near you soon. Donation plate will be handed out. It was a beautiful poolside ceremony.

  9. Lori the Dealer

    Thank you for your concern about my marital status everyone! Gus and I had decided on a drunken night of text messaging in Dallas that we would marry random drunk people while in Vegas. It was my “first” trip to Vegas and after Gussy getting us escorted to a taxi from the craps tables at the Wynn and inheriting the name Copperfield I figured, WHAT COULD HAPPEN? I had 53 responses the next day when i woke up. My two favorites being my best friend Tiffany saying, “You’re a f’n nut job, Brittany Spears!” and the second was Webber Kang calling to tell me I was crazy. It was definately the most fun wedding I have ever attended. The Wedding party included DC, my Vegas roomie,- gave me away. Beth- the maid of honor, La- the flower girl, Mikey “sugar rush”- ring bearer, Waldo- the photographer, Gus- The man of the cloth, Gus’s best friend from cali, Chris- the groom. After visiting 3 24hr drive thru wedding chappels that were closed (weird!), we decided that we would hold it our selves poolside at the Rio. So, DC ordained Gus and we stopped off at 7-11 to buy supplies. 1st we had to get ring pops, 2nd sunflower seeds for la as there were no flowers to pull petals from, 3rd more beer. Beth provided the Maxi pad to use as a pillow for the rings. Beth pulled some marigolds from a flowerbed along the strip, but I have no idea where exactly they came from. We pushed past the closed signs at the entrance to the pool and held the ceremony at the lifegaurd stand just as the sun appeared over the horizon. I have no idea how to post pictures on this thing, but I have some stills and a short video, if you are interested Dan. I had the time of my life while I was there. Thank you, Gus, Beth, DC, La, Mikey Sugar-rush, Subway, and Chris!! You guys rock like Slayer! Never a dull moment!

  10. Chris Rebuy

    Dallas poker reunited in Vegas… fun times. Gus was kicked out of the W for dropping the F bomb. Almost got booted from “Raul” as well. Someone needs to push that stool back underneath the bar before someone trips over it.

  11. Gentle Shane

    Jesus Christ, am I confused! I just got married?!? Or was it Gonz? Nick the Dealer? Me?

  12. itsoverjonny

    I’m headed back to Casino Raul today, and I fully intend to push in a LOT of stool!

  13. PokerGus

    The only unfortunate event was after my ordainment I am now unable to get married. Oh well no candy ring for this servent of the faith. After much sacrificial crown even I can make a craps dealer drop the stick mid roll and yell for security. Remember kids Vegas is a family town the days of F bombs, hookers, and random marriage are out….. umm wait. Nevermind BODY OF CHRIST, BITCHES!!!!

  14. lori the dealer

    Don’t ever use that p.o.s. name and mine in the same sentence. That would conclude that I lie about my life as much as he does! Who has ever known me to be descret or subtle? Lets not kid ourselves! I was up front from the get go! Shane! Throw a bitch under the bus much? Back to vegas…….. As for the craps dealer dropping the stick….. I thought it was a firedrill so I duck and covered. Much to my dismay I was the only one who found it humerous….. Along with my attempt to get the security gaurd thown out by default sexual harrassment…… Stupid “W”!! I got a hookers number from ur bar! What now?!?! Got hookers?….. Find ’em at the wynn….. I’ve got pics! Deuce, deuce homo’s!!!!

  15. Alicia

    GUSTOPHER!!!! Remind me not to stand next to you when it’s storming outside. You are overdue for a lightning strike.

    Love you….