Don’t Click the Google Ads! (Or I might die)

by , Nov 6, 2006 | 6:08 pm

If I told you otherwise, like “click the Google ads!”, that would be a clear violation of their terms. So don’t click. If you do, I will receive money for said clicks, and that wouldn’t be right.

Actually, I’m kinda surprised to see any Google ads showing up at all right now, as I just got this disgruntling, post-UIGEA email from Google:

Hello,

While reviewing your account, we noticed that you are currently displaying Google ads in a manner that is not compliant with our policies. For instance, we found violations of AdSense policies on pages such as www.pokerati.com.

As stated in our program policies, AdSense publishers are not permitted to place Google ads on sites with content related to gambling or casinos.

As a result, we have disabled ad serving to the site.

Your AdSense account remains active. However, we strongly suggest that you take the time to review our program policies (https://www.google.com/adsense/policies ) to ensure that all of your remaining pages are in compliance.

Please note that we may disable your account if further violations are found in the future.

Sincerely,

The Google AdSense Team

“Related to”? But yet it’s OK for them to accept money from a site such as Poker Listings? Whatever. Dear Mr. Google … this is an INFORMATIONAL website, protected by the First Amendment as far as I know. My readers are very interested in the information served by the people who pay you for click, particularly all the free poker stuff and poker shirt advertisements. By the way, I would never tell them to click the ads blindly … in fact I am telling them not to … because, you know, that would lead to people actually paying for Constitutional services delivered.

Also, I really love the Google Earth maps. Wow, pretty impressive stuff. I’m almost surprised the government hasn’t given you some sort of secret contract. After all, everyone knows the importance of amassing database info these days, and I can only imagine the Feds would love to have access to that. Did you know that along with the UIGEA, one of the new laws snuck into other legislation in late September was something calling for all of us to have Federal ID cards by 2008? Yeow! I bet they would love to amass info on the citizenry, but obviously we would be up in arms if they required that … which is where yu guys become extra powerful. You see, the genius of Google is that you guys get us to submit a SHITLOAD of info about ourselves VOLUNTARILY! All that G-mail (no relation to “G men” I presume) and now YouTube and Google Desktop yadda yadda … you have probably the single most significant and valuable database in the world without a doubt.

Anyhow, I digress … my point was that I know you have the ability to be watching me right now from space. And I know you have enough money to build a really cool laser gun that could also be up in the sky with your Google Earth satellites. If you have already deployed said weaponry, please do not zap me from existence just because I like to write about poker. Let me live and I will do my best to destroy all the human beings who wrongly try to put money in Pokerati’s coffers by not listening to my exaltations not to click.


5 Comments to “Don’t Click the Google Ads! (Or I might die)”


  1. TommyTwoToes
    says:

    yep google is sort of two faced in the way google ads work.. .they will take money from places wanting to advertise gambling and related items. but they wont let those ads run on the very sites that the ad purchasers want…. Google shut me down a long time ago…. bastages… thus i blackballed them and try to only use yahoo for searching the internet… ya that is my way of patheically fighting the man.


  2. LiveStraddle
    says:

    Did they suck out?


    You are not authorized to view this page, motherfucker.


  3. DanM
    says:

    And thar she blows …

    though thia site is still peppered with Google code, the ads are gone. Tiny B can take solace in knowing Pokerati no longer does business with the makers of marked cards. And now, without the vast fountains of income those Google ads provided daily, I will no longer be able to call re-raised pots with hands like 4-6 suited. we have clearly entered a new era.


  4. Cowboy
    says:

    I think that the mere idea of a national ID card somehow reminds me of my school days, when I was told that people in communist countrys had to carry ID cards. That was suppossed to show that we had freedom here, because we didn’t have to carry these cards. a kinda, “Let me see your papers” kind of thing. Well I guess we must be falling into the communist way because from what I have read, we are going to have to carry National ID cards starting sometime in 2008. This is really scary.
    http://www.infowars.com/articles/ps/nat_id_cards_by_2008.htm
    and also,
    http://www.infowars.com/cashless_society.htm

    This certainly gives those of us who were brought up in the times of “duck and cover” that were taught as protection in case of a nuclear attack. Maybe it is time that we google this
    http://newid.com/
    Welcome to America. Now we have ways around whatever we disagree with and all we have to do is Google it. Thank god for the internet. Thank god for stupid politicians who really think that they will be able to enforce more stupid legislation on the uninformed people of the world and the US. The internet is truly the best invention since the Gutenburg press. We must not let them control the internet or we have truly lost our freedom. God bless the bloggers who are the true media of the times we live in. I think Americans have shown the government on 11/7/06 what happens when the majority don’t like whats going on. It’s time again to write your congressman and let him know what you think of the National ID chip and card. It is up to us to protect our freedom, that our servicemen and women are loosing their lives to protect.


  5. Pokerati | Texas hold’em blog » Blog Archive » Those Crazy Kids at Google
    says:

    […] Remember when Google sent me a nasty message way back when, basically cutting me off because of the gambly content on this site? Well apparently they have changed their minds about Pokerati and want us back. Or they don’t realize they ever gave Pokerati the boot. Click below to read the latest correspondence they’ve sent: […]