Don\’t Click the Google Ads! (Or I might die)

If I told you otherwise, like \”click the Google ads!\”, that would be a clear violation of their terms. So don\’t click. If you do, I will receive money for said clicks, and that wouldn\’t be right.

Actually, I\’m kinda surprised to see any Google ads showing up at all right now, as I just got this disgruntling, post-UIGEA email from Google:

Hello,

While reviewing your account, we noticed that you are currently displaying Google ads in a manner that is not compliant with our policies. For instance, we found violations of AdSense policies on pages such as old.pokerati.com.

As stated in our program policies, AdSense publishers are not permitted to place Google ads on sites with content related to gambling or casinos.

As a result, we have disabled ad serving to the site.

Your AdSense account remains active. However, we strongly suggest that you take the time to review our program policies (https://www.google.com/adsense/policies ) to ensure that all of your remaining pages are in compliance.

Please note that we may disable your account if further violations are found in the future.

Sincerely,

The Google AdSense Team

\”Related to\”? But yet it\’s OK for them to accept money from a site such as Poker Listings? Whatever. Dear Mr. Google … this is an INFORMATIONAL website, protected by the First Amendment as far as I know. My readers are very interested in the information served by the people who pay you for click, particularly all the free poker stuff and poker shirt advertisements. By the way, I would never tell them to click the ads blindly … in fact I am telling them not to … because, you know, that would lead to people actually paying for Constitutional services delivered.

Also, I really love the Google Earth maps. Wow, pretty impressive stuff. I\’m almost surprised the government hasn\’t given you some sort of secret contract. After all, everyone knows the importance of amassing database info these days, and I can only imagine the Feds would love to have access to that. Did you know that along with the UIGEA, one of the new laws snuck into other legislation in late September was something calling for all of us to have Federal ID cards by 2008? Yeow! I bet they would love to amass info on the citizenry, but obviously we would be up in arms if they required that … which is where yu guys become extra powerful. You see, the genius of Google is that you guys get us to submit a SHITLOAD of info about ourselves VOLUNTARILY! All that G-mail (no relation to \”G men\” I presume) and now YouTube and Google Desktop yadda yadda … you have probably the single most significant and valuable database in the world without a doubt.

Anyhow, I digress … my point was that I know you have the ability to be watching me right now from space. And I know you have enough money to build a really cool laser gun that could also be up in the sky with your Google Earth satellites. If you have already deployed said weaponry, please do not zap me from existence just because I like to write about poker. Let me live and I will do my best to destroy all the human beings who wrongly try to put money in Pokerati\’s coffers by not listening to my exaltations not to click.