Semi-live-Blogging the first episode of High Stakes Poker 3

So wow, I almost forgot! Today [ed note: last night] is the premiere of \”High Stakes Poker: the Third Season\” on GSN. I can\’t believe Sang\’s missing this! (He\’s on an unexpected date with a stripper right now.) This show is clearly the best poker on TV right now — and there\’s been a tantalizing little buzz about what\’s in store for this go-round. Real people we want to get to know. Real poker we want to play.

At tonight\’s table (clockwise): Doyle Brunson, Mike Matusow, Jamie Gold, Daniel Alaei, Sean Sheikhan, Victor Ramdin, William Chen.

8:11 pm — Hmm, my guess is that everybody is gunning for Jamie Gold, and America can\’t wait to see him get torn to bits … both poker-wise and personality-wise. Yep, that\’s what this episode has got to be about. He knows it, and most of us know he knows it … and presumably he knows we know he knows it.

8:13 pm — Hmm, I think I like Matusow\’s Guayabera … white, with flowery-red vertical lines. Gotta get me one of those.

8:14 pm — Ooh, Bill Chen … awesome. Yep, he looks the most out of place at this table. Remember that super-smart, super-dorky Asian math whiz who tried to tell particle physics jokes in high school? Like that guy … right down to the glasses and clump of hair at the back of his head that defies the square root of gravity times pi.

8:15 pm — I bet Chen knows pi to way more digits than Doyle Brunson.

8:15 pm — The way they have the logo, with \”the third season\” written in a smaller font below, suggests that High Stakes Poker is going for a \”Six Feet Under\” vibe.

8:19 pm — Jamie Gold is wearing a black hat with a logo covered up by a square of black tape. Looks kinda cool! You know, that should be a knew hipster fashion thing … hats with an \”insignia\” consisting of a patch of tape (or fabric) the same color as the hat itself. What a statement! Commentary on corporate legal interests in the age of TV-celebrity narcissism and untested internet laws. It could be like the new Malcolm X hat. Genius.

8:21 pm — I still contend that if Ludacris (and other black rappers from the South) were to start wearing the confederate flag, states like Georgia would give up the fight to keep it flying over its capitol.

8:22 pm — I love Gabe Kaplan. Best announcer in poker, bar none … Mike Sexton, he\’s pretty good, too.

8:27 pm — Matusow making fun of William Chen for taking down a small pot. Laughs while calling him a \”frigging idiot!\” Dude, kinda harsh.

8:34 pm — AJ Benza just used the phrase \”Rotisserie Poker.\” Who\’s this Victor Ramdin guy?

8:35 pm — Dude, Jamie\’s eating blueberries? With a spoon. (I hate that its obviously schtick but kinda works.) Matusow continues to insult the 2006 bracelet winners. \”Not as fun when you don\’t get straight flushes, huh?\” he says to Gold. Doyle smiles lightheartedly.

8:38 pm — Ooh, who\’s that attractive blonde girl in the background?!? That food buffet looks pretty tasty. Are those sandwiches? I\’m hungry. Yeah, I think those must be sandwiches. I wonder if they are real.

8:44 pm — Those awkward GSN table-side cameras are covered up a little better this season, draped in black, with no visible duct tape. Jamie Gold has lost a chunk of his stack, but quietly declares he\’s \”coming back\” … in the face of continued Matusow guffaws.

8:46 pm — My poker broadcasting dream team:

Play-by-play: Mike Sexton
Color: Gabe Kaplan
Railside reporter: Shana Hiatt
Halftime analyst: Terry Bradshaw

also … someone British, like Martin Tyler or Ben Wright

8:50 pm — Jamie Gold says to Brunson, \”No shame in checking.\” Gabe Kaplan responds: \”That\’s right Jamie, you\’re gonna get a lot of _____ talking to Doyle.\” [ed. note: blank=a word I couldn\’t remember by the time I got to typing it, not anything bleeped out.) Gold thinks long about raising with nothing into Doyle\’s set but eventually decides to fold.

8:52 pm — I think Doyle made a mistake. He shoulda checked. He had three to act behind him (Gold, Alaei, and Negreanu). One of them was likely to bet, and then Doyle coulda check raised all-in … that would\’ve meant more money in the pot and higher likelihood to appear bluffy, thereby increasing his chance of getting a call. Oh well, next time.

8:53 pm — [E-harmony commercial] … I wonder how Sang\’s date with the stripper is going.

()

8:54 pm — Hey you know what? There are no women playing … what\’s up with that?

8:54 pm — Just got a text-message from Spaceman:

Played 1-2 NL with Tom [Schneider?] this morning. Fun except going bust vs T-4. Also, check my blog for instapoker fodder.

8:55 pm — Wow.

8:58 pm — It\’s gonna be a long year.

9 pm — Awesome, now it\’s time for the premiere of The Block on G4! Fond memories here and here.

9:02 pm — Hey, I remember that guy! Look, he\’s smoking a bong! In a car! Without wearing a seatbelt!

9:22 pm — You know, Matusow is kinda like Thum on steroids with more money and a criminal history.

2:05 am — To Sang, who has returned home from his date and is now playing Gears of War: \”Dude, you missed the season premiere of High Stakes Poker!\”

\”I know,\” he says.

2:06 am — \”I know.\”

2:07 am — [in stereo] \”So how was it?\”