The Latest Dirt on Poker

by , Feb 16, 2007 | 7:48 pm

The current issue of Bluff has an enlightening article on poker-chip germs. This is definitely a topic all poker players should consider. I have long wanted to educate the public on poker-table health hazards, but made an immature assumption it would be brushed off as an overzealous “woman thing.”

I am going to share with you something very personal and private … two years ago in band camp I noticed a small bump on my finger. Unfamiliar with skin disorders I was astonished to learn from my doctor that not only had I a WART, but also he was convinced it was from playing poker. He said, “when you are playing poker you should be sanitizing your hands every half hour.” (You will be happy to know I eliminated my new little jackpot with one zap from a laser.)

This experience made me aware of just how many players at the tables — a lot of them — have warts on their hands. I then began to watch with amazement at how many players would ruffle poker chips then lean over to eat potato chips. Should I mention licking their fingers afterwards? Sorry if I grossed you out with this. I hope you still love me, warts and all.

13 Comments to “The Latest Dirt on Poker”

  1. DanM

    It’s always interesting to see how many players at the WSOP take a leak without washing their hands afterwards. Always nice to know you could be taking down a big-time pro’s genital DNA when raking in a pot.

  2. Fresh Princess

    Can’t say the same for the ladies room. Most wash although I’m not so sure they all understand how much bacteria is on the countertops.

  3. DanM

    Fortunately in Texas we’ll be eliminating at least some kinds of warts amongst the next generation of (female) poker players.

  4. Bubba

    I will try to bear that in mind the next time I am shoving chips down my pants…………er strippers pants

  5. Bubba

    Has anyone ever seen BUFF? Its an acronym for big ugly female it is a hilarious rag. Amazing to me that there is such a huge market for “plumpers” that there is actually a magazine catering to these dudes……….anyway i always think of that magazine when someone mentions Bluff.

  6. FoolsRun

    As Dan N. says, That’s Poker.

  7. Jimmy

    I played at a club a few years ago where a terrible female player was in the game. Before making any bet or call she would lick her fingers and then slip chips out of a rack, one by one, rather like some people would rifle through a stack of papers. It was disgusting.

    She was great for the game, though, so everyone stayed and put up with it. I sure didn’t touch my face or have any food without washing in that game!

  8. Fresh Princess

    Yuck! I’m not going to name names but…there is a cute blonde from Houston that has since moved to Vegas. One night I saw her playing the 10-20 NL at the Bellagio and she had her shoes off at the table with her feet tucked nicely under her bottom. The doozie was when she started rubbing her feet and picking at her toes. Sadly, I don’t think many of the men noticed anything beyond her breasts.

  9. Ed

    mmmm…i like feet. unless they were nasty feet i probably wouldnt mind.


  10. DanM

    Oh, c’mon ed … you know the nastier they were, the more you would like them. and michele, i think i know who you are talking about … in fact, i think we have a picture of her somewhere on my computer.

  11. Fresh Princess

    Ed – Yes, there are some feet lovers in this world that would probably like seeing feet at a table in a five star hotel. However, it is Vegas and what happens in Vegas, happens in Vegas.

    Dan – I’m curious. And what are you doing up before noon?

  12. DanM

    i will see what i can dig up … after all, you know i love exchanging private photos with you. as to the time … that damn karridy scheduled a tournament at a ridiculously early hour … like 2 pm!

  13. Fresh Princess

    See what you can dig up. I love exchanging private photos with you too. But don’t tell my husband…he would be very upset to find I was giving you photos of him in his bathing suit. Did I say that out loud?