Poker Tells: Lee Watkinson’s Girlfriend vs. Jerry Yang

by , Oct 17, 2007 | 5:16 pm

9 Comments to “Poker Tells: Lee Watkinson’s Girlfriend vs. Jerry Yang”

  1. DanM

    Funny, but not sure how a spade does or doesn’t help on that board.

  2. Bill

    The thing that I’ve been wondering about is exactly what is God doing when He gives a player the card they need? When the dealer is shuffling the cards, is it God who causes the dealer to shuffle each specific card in its order in the deck, taking into account who has the button and the number of players in the hand? If so, then I guess it is God who is also making the dealer cut the cards in the exact spot they need to be cut so that His favorite gets the cards they need.

    What if after the dealer has shuffled and cut the deck, one or more players decide to sit out or new players sit down before the dealer has dealt the cards? Did God know they were going to get up and/or the new person was going to sit down while the dealer was shuffling, or is that why Jerry Yang didn’t win every hand? And what happens when a dealer misdeals? Does that piss God off? In a home game I played in once, I would have been dealt AA on a hand, but the dealer mis-dealt some other cards so he had to deal again. On the next hand, I did NOT get AA? I got something like Q-2! Why is that? Why didn’t I get AA again?

    Or does God actually change the rank/suit of the card that’s about to be turned up just before it’s turned up, taking into account what cards have already been dealt to the other players? For example, if Jerry Yang or Lee Watkinson needed a spade, but every spade in the deck had already been dealt out or burned, could God still make a spade show up? Or does He take that all into account during the shuffle and cutting, ensuring that there will be a spade and/or card of the rank the player He is favoring that will be turned up, ensuring that His favorite wins?

    And what about when Lee Childs folded his QQ against Jerry Yang’s JJ early in the game when Jerry moved all-in on the flop? Did God make Lee fold his queens, or was He going to make a Jack come out on the turn or river just in case Lee didn’t fold?

    And why didn’t God give Lee Watkinson’s girl friend real lips? Would He actually approve of some one injecting collagen into their lips? Maybe that’s why he didn’t give Lee Watkinson a 7 to beat Jerry, because He was pissed at his girl friend?

    Could any of you evangelical readers out there shed some light on exactly how God decides who gets which cards?

  3. Jeffrey Prest

    God gives all men freedom in their lives. He wants us to be individuals, not robots, which is why He gives us the greatest freedom of all – to choose whether or not we want to worship Him. That’s not to say there won’t be penalties for those who vote ‘no’ but at least it’s our call.

    It therefore follows that He might just take one look at some lousy poker game, assume that He has better things to be getting on with and therefore decides to let the cards fall as they may.

    Either that or He doesn’t exist, of course.

  4. DuggleBogey

    This God fellow must really be a micro-manager.


  5. Uncle Ray

    I now know how God makes headaches.

  6. DanM

    Yep, he sends them down in the form of the Chicago Bears. Boo-yah!

    Happy Birthday, Uncle Ray.

  7. Ed

    I was thinking the answer would be along the lines of kids…or women.

  8. Uncle Ray

    No, He sends them down in the form of long winded treatises on whether or not he helps poker players, instead of football teams that deserve some consideration. Never mind about the football team. That was my headache talking.

    Let’s just say that this God guy you guys talk about has a warped sense of humor. I mean, sometimes I win when I forgot to ask him to help me!!! And sometimes no matter how much I pray, I end up with empty pockets.

    Thanks for the HB Dan, we’ll see you soon.

  9. trebor86

    Poker is not a productive enterprise… it only shuffles money from one person to another. God expects people to work for what they get, not to try to take it from others without giving them some value for it.

    I suspect God does not participate in poker at all, allowing the cards to place where ever they would if he did not interfere.