New show coming soon … “The Champions of Poker Commentary” — essentially a Best Damn Sports Show knock-off, but using poker pros not affiliated with online sites to shoot the real shit about the poker world for people who may or may not think poker hasn’t changed since that most recent rerun of WSOP 2003.

You know me, I want to lambast and ridicule any Tom Schneider endeavor — because that’s how we show our friends we care — but gotta say, this is pretty damn good. Very different:

According to Eric Ulis, the host of this in-development show, the current poker-on-TV offerings are a bit “stuffy” … and that’s where they supposedly come in — to talk about the poker news of the day in a different way. It’s all part of a derivative of Ulis’ Continental Poker Championship, and the plan is to film it regularly with this crew of Arizona high stakes pros — Tom Schneider, Hooman Nikzad, and Jesse McGinty — at the Gila River Casino Wild Horse Pass, just outside of Phoenix.

Earl Burton has an interesting post up wondering why the sponsorship dollars for the WSOP main event final tableists haven’t been rolling in. While he leaves room for the possibility that it’s just a matter of time — I agree, as the kinda deals we’re talking about here don’t take place over a matter of days or even weeks — he also highlights an example that has me simply shaking my head:

A recent blog [sic.] on CardPlayer by a former guest on my “The Tournament Trail” show at Hold ‘Em Radio (http://www.holdemradio.com/), WPT champion Roy Winston, indicated that no one has contacted him regarding his offer of coaching for the Main Event.

Sorry, Roy, but I’m laughing. Because no one has contacted me, either, about my offer to put a Pokerati patch on them in exchange for guaranteed internet coverage! No offense, but whothefugk are you? A WPT champion? Big deal! The final nine — whether by luck or skill or some combination thereof — have outlasted 6,400 players to get to where they are. Have you ever done that? I didn’t think so.* Why would someone want to potentially mess their game up by receiving “coaching” from someone other than Phil Hellmuth (who clearly knows how to win WSOP final tables with any starting chip ratio) or maybe Erik Seidel? If I were one of the Nueve de Noviembre, I gotta say, I’d be feeling pretty good about my poker skills in general … and would be having many talks with the poker friends who helped get me there (The Arizona Posse, Batfaces, et al.) and probably just about any other poker player I ran into between July and November. But hire an outside coach? That would be like an athlete qualifying for the Olympics and hiring someone in the interim who happened to win a similar event in the Pan-Am games.

The story here isn’t on whether or not the final table delay was a right idea for the sake of marketing … it’s about how the remaining WSOP main event players are somehow smart enough not to fall for sales pitches from interlopers trying to get in on their action.

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Though it won’t help Mike Wattel feel any better, the Arizona guys are out celebrating, as Ryan Hughes won a bracelet tonight — in $1,500 7-stud Hi-Lo. Woot! (Uh-huh, yeah, we go like way back, Ryan and us … we all play 1-to-1,000, baby. OK, but seriously, anyone who even kinda-sorta knew him knew it was only a matter of time before Hughes hit big.)

Robert Goldfarb — the Arizona Posse-ite who is, um, due? — is doing double-time as a player and a reporter (without a media credential, no less) … and after some technological snafus, his cell phone is linked up again with Pokerati … so be sure to check in with his P*ttering for some reports from the higher stakes tables.

He’s chronicling his own pursuits, his observations from the tables, and Pat Poels’ already being hard at work trying to win his way into the $50k HORSE event.

Ed. Note: This post woulda been much more relevant and timely had it gone up yesterday, when it was written.

Despite slightly lower numbers, the WPT World Championship will still likely end up being one of the five biggest tournaments in the Milky Way this year … and Day 2 has just gotten underway. Pokerati would love to beyotch about not having access to the makeshift WPT TV studio at Bellagio to do our brand of non-chip coverage, but we’ve been invited to a WPT Party tonight with free food and booze, so we’re obviously all good with the status quo.

421 of 545 starting players remain … A few names that I’ll be paying attention to for various reasons, and where they stand in relation to their starting 50k chipstack include Carlos Mortenson (defending champ – 172,075), Tom Schneider (25,400), Clonie Gowen (93,975), Gregg Merkow (40,075), Nenad Medic (12,425), Rodeen Talebi (18,000), Ray Henson (89,550), and David Sklansky (41,050).

Click below to see how the whole pro-studded field shaped up as of noon-Pacific today, and click here to follow the action throughout Day 2.

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… at the World Poker Challenge at the Grand Sierra in Reno, finishing 28th out of 261. Ouch. But not all is lost for the Arizona Posse … Tom may have gone out early on Day 2, but the crew’s other double-bracelet holder Pat Poels is still alive and well — with a slightly below average stack.

Click here to follow the Day 3 action — where because of legally questionable exclusive media deals, you have no choice but to read coverage from a guy who clearly would rather write in a way that reveals he can’t wait to go home (or to the tables, or the bar) as opposed to figuring out the names of fewer than 30 players left in a field?

(If it’s fair to expect NFL television announcers to know every name on two rosters, is it really too much to ask that any “reporters” know every name once a tourney gets below four tables? There are breaks, after all, where you theoretically could go find out what you don’t know by asking someone. But whatever … it’s not Pokerati’s job to bitch about crappy, uninspired coverage just because we happened to have a conversation with someone else about whether or not we have a right to post numbers and letters like the ones below and/or haven’t had our coffee yet this morning.)

And click below to see the starting stacks going in:

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6:02 — Who is this announcer guy? Not too exciting nor comprehensive.

6:03 — Funny, he just made it over to the Tom vs. Gavin table … pointed out that Tom was trailing by “a little more than a few thousand chips.” He then seem confused by why Gavin had some book on the table. “Oops! I Won Too Much Money,” he said over the microphone, surprised to discover the author was right in front of him.

6:05 — “Gavin Smith takes down another nice pot. No one at this table is very afraid,” he said, presumably referring to Tom’s questionable call.

6:06 — Robert Goldfarb is on the other side of the room, not responding to my texts inquiring about what is going on over at his end.

6:09 — Chris Ferguson hits a three-outer on the river … I know see a hot blonde girl standing up and clapping, and am pretty sure that is his modeltastic Brazilian girlfriend.

6:13 — TJ Cloutier shows up and is laughing tickled upon hearing the report from Robert Williamson’s little sister (and favorite Pokerati stalking victim) who informs him that indeed, Hellmuth went out on the third hand. “Heh-heh-ha,” says Cloutier in his Hank-Hill chortle.

6:14 — Oh no! My personal sleeper pick and Arizona Posse-ite Hooman Nikzad is out. He got it all-in with the best, but Greg Raymer turned a set to advance.

6:20 — Tom pushes all-in, Gavin folds … to give the Donkey Bomber a 24k-16k lead. Last time these two played heads-up at the same time, both were competing for WSOP bracelets (in different events). Tom won his match, and Gavin lost his. Just sayin’ …

6:22 — At least two very Hammery flops have come in this 8-match quadrant of first round action. Both 7-7-2 flops have resulted in bets followed by folds. Very interesting.

6:30 — There are seats for about 90 spectators in this makeshift Caesar’s viewing coliseum. Twelve media spots (not counting the dozen or so NBC folks who have the run of the floor.

6:31 — Kenny Tran doubles up against Scott Clements thanks to running clubs. “The turn always gives you extra outs,” the announcer said. No it doesn’t, at least four of us in the room are thinking.

6:33 — Back to counting … there’s standing room only for about a dozen squeezed in around the rails.

6:34 — Greg Raymer can’t seem to leave, even though he’s already one. It’s clear (imho) he’s looking for camera time … not Phil Hellmuth-style for ego … but presumably to get some HD-pixel time for his patch-friends at PokerStars.

6:36 — As Raymer loudly mentioned PokerStars, a headphone-wearing producer woman just informed Fossilman that he was getting in the camera’s way and needed to leave. “Aww, c’mon,” Raymer unsuccessfully plead.

6:40 — Scott Clements’ AK holds up against A7, and California Jen’s pick to win it all moves on.

6:41 — Gabe Kaplan knocks out Antonius.

No, that’s not a typo. J8 is Arizona Posse member Hooman Nikzad’s favorite hand and is referred to at Casino Arizona as #1, the best hand in hold ’em, or simply Hooman. Hooman (the player, not the poker hand), won a live satellite into the upcoming NBC heads up tournament later this month at Caesars. Tom and Hooman playing heads up on TV would make for some good stuff. Good luck boys.

I had a good time in Tunica. I came in 8th at the WSOP circuit event and didn’t play the WPT. I had an opportunity to play the WPT because the circuit event had a day off between day 2 and the final table, but I would have had to accumulate a ton of chips in order not to get blinded out on day 2 while I was playing at the final table.

Had I known that I would come in 8th, I definitely would have taken a shot at it. Had I tried to do it and made it through the first day of the WPT, I would have been able to blame my 8th place finish on being distracted, or at least Angry Julie would have reminded me many times.

I like Tunica because of its friendly environment, loads of PLO and the food. The food is pretty good but very fattening. I did happen to lose weight on this trip because I have totally changed my eating habits. I am now eating a very balanced diet with big emphasis on vegetables. I hate them, but I do like the way I’m starting to feel.

Late in December of ’07 I declared that ’08 is going to be the year of health. I weighed more than I ever have, and I was starting to feel it. In the past, I have always lost weight by working out hard and always being hungry. I haven’t been hungry once and have lost about 10 pounds since the beginning of the year. I have changed my ways of eating to something I think I can sustain for the rest of my life, at least that’s the plan.

A few comments about Tunica …

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Arizona Posse member and all around good guy Hooman Nikzad just took down the 3k event at Bellagio pocketing over $250,000. It’s going to be a good week to get in some overtime if you work here.

FYI, another episode is up … for those of you who haven’t yet subscribed or synced your iPods. In this episode, our favorite non-bracelet-wearing cruiser-stakes pro sits in for Tom.

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• Robert G drinks the BTT Kool-Aid.
• WSOP scheduling, the Houston poker bust and felony charges, an Illinois amateur poker crackdown, Charles Nesson as the Timothy O’Leary of Poker.
• Gratuitous pimping: Up for Poker and the PokerStars Blogger Championship.
• Action junkies and Karridy’s online sit-n-go multitabling master plan — big screens and upside-down calculator words.
• Tom goes to Spain in search of plaques and CardPlayer points.
• Karridy hits the Stockyards in search of family values and professional online poker dreams.
• The Fort Worth police vs. Beyond the Table.
• Dan tries to take credit for bringing the Mob into Texas poker.

I gotta say, it’s kinda fun watching the Pokerati peeps in PokerStars’ World Blogger Championship of Online Poker from the electronic rail. Just wish I could chat/heckle.

After the first break, Karridy (“Karridy”) is out — in 1,048th place out of 1337. But it wasn’t him playing … was a “friend from work” he insists. By the way, for those wondering, that does fall within the PokerStars substitution rules. (Scroll down to the bottom.)

California Jen (“Cookie_555”) was briefly 3rd in chips … and is still sitting pretty in 76th out of 770something remaining. She contends having this many chips is a relatively new experience for her. UPDATE: She just moved up to 37th, out of 730 remaining.

Big Robert won’t tell me what his screen name is/was … but he reports:

All in on 8 hi flop. had kk v qq…q on the turn. out.

Ouch, Robert. You woulda done better had you had the queens. But like Princess Leia as a Jedi, there is still hope for the Arizona Posse, as Green Lisa (“HelloCity”) hit her 10-outer on the river to get comfortable.

Ed the Commenter (“hungerfan”) is out in 800somethingth place.

The prizes everyone is playing for haven’t been released yet, but it’s : about $40k worth of assorted cash and goodies. (Thanks Lisa!)

Let’s not talk about me (and how turning the straight with the second-nuts flush draw didn’t get there) … no no, there’s far more excitement going on in Scottsdale, as our good friends in the Arizona Posse are making quite a showing online this weekend.

Big Robert won a 300-player multi on Full Tilt last night–paid about $7,000–and tonight he’s sweating Pat Poels and Ryan Hughes, who are both at two different WCOOP final tables on PokerStars.

Poels is chip leader with seven left in 2-7 Triple Draw, and Hughes is sitting solid in Pot Limit Omaha (6-max). Both are playing for big five-figure payouts … actually Poels Hughes is already there.

Meanwhile, I’m deciding whether or not to drive home … or to Arizona.

UPDATE: Poels — pstarfish — finished 2nd (out of 649) to win $18,821. Hughes — elycash41 — finished 3rd (out of 1,818) to win $27,379. Nice job, Arizona! Way to represent. So wanna party like you guys.

New episode of Beyond the Table is up.

Click here to listen.

On this week’s episode:

• The Arizona State Poker Championship
• Fake Karridy interviewing Fake Doyle Brunson
• Tom goes to Wyoming to golf with drunken naked old men
• Other poker pros opt for Doyle Brunson & Dewey Tomko High Stakes Golf
• Dan comes to Phoenix for intense poker training
• Dan loses his bankroll
• The grow-your-money:lose-your-money time ratio in poker
• Going almost-broke with Brad Booth, Brian Townsend, et al.
• Bankroll management: How to avoid losing $3 million
• Fake Karridy interviewing Fake Brian Townsend
• The Education of a Poker Player: Plunge the Toilet
• Public pooping etiquette and mad plunging skills
• The problem with satisfying your sexual desires at the poker table

Again, obviously, if you haven’t already … click here to audio it up. Or here to get your podcast on and keep it that way.

And as always, feel free to call 888-820-8091 — or email — to let us know what you think of the show, the people on it, and our topics for expostulation. There’s even talk of an “Oops I Won too Much Money” hat for someone.

For now, here’s a picture of Tom in a bathrobe:

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Here are the seating charts for the final two tables in Wednesday afternoon’s Legends main event. Below that are the payouts the players are fighting for. If Tom were a real friend, he would dump chips to his home-game buddy.

Table 13
Seat 1 – Mike Jung – 191,000
Seat 2 – Thu Nguyen – 490,000
Seat 3 – Franco Brunetti – 218,000
Seat 4 – Mike McClain – 684,000
Seat 5 – Lee Markholt – 873,000
Seat 6 – Raymond Davis – 539,000
Seat 7 – Brian Powell – 248,000
Seat 8 – Shi Jia Liu – 476,000
Seat 9 – Joe Sebok – 1,057,000

Table 17
Seat 1 – Peter Feldman – 853,000
Seat 2 – Dan Harrington – 370,000
Seat 3 – Robert Goldfarb – 296,000
Seat 4 – David Pham – 1,007,000
Seat 5 – Don Zewin – 378,000
Seat 6 – Sean McCabe – 183,000
Seat 7 – Wayne Chang – 281,000
Seat 8 – Tom Schneider – 803,000
Seat 9 – Billy Pilossoph –788,000

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