This week, my continent graciously released a delegation of Frenchman into your capitol. Had they to craned their necks around for a look back across the tumbling expanse of ocean, they might have seen a fallen hero re-emerging, nations sparring on the felt, and one of their countrymen getting kicked in the head. Stay tuned for this and not much more in the Wider World of Poker.

Ivey is Back

Glad to see you’re still with us. We start with the sneakiest news of the week. After seven months spent hiding under a craps table, Phil Ivey quietly arrived in Macau for the Asia Pacific Poker Tour. An event conveniently located 8,000 miles from Ivey’s Room. At time of going to press, Phil held a middling chip stack and had not been attacked by any angry Full Tilt customers. [PokerNews]

IFP Showcase National Talent

Most sensible people will tell you that poker is a game of skill and there are plenty of groups dedicated to propagating that opinion, but they don’t usually organize major poker tournaments. That’s the stratagem of the International Federation of Poker, who this past week curated both the Nations Cup and IFP World Championships. Germany took the plaudits in the team competition, while Spain’s Raul Mestre defeated the enchanting Victoria Coren for the overall title. [IFP]

Online Grinders Fight for Glory

And finally, the bit with the face-kicking in it. Dutchman Lex Veldhuis and French personage Bertrand ‘ElkY’ Grospellier got together over the weekend for some friendly violence. It’s been two years since the duo challenged each other to a kickboxing contest and despite 24 months of build up, the brawl lasted only two rounds. A couple of kicks to ElkY’s bleached hair had him seeing pokerstars. [Wicked Chops]

I don’t know if you caught my hilarious joke in that last sentence. If you didn’t, why not reread the entire article? I recommend taking notes. While you study, I’ll be out hunting news, trying to avoid any stray kicks to the face. If I still have a face this time next week, I’ll see you then.