This week I’ve been living under a fluorescent cloud of disease. My ragged immune system fights off the invading malady with slow, but inevitable success, yet despite my ailing health the poker world has rudely continued to turn. I’ve done everything I can to ensure that this news isn’t infectious, but you might want to wash your hands after reading.

Party Poker Premier League Crowns Seiver

An elite gaggle of poker’s most elite players gathered to play in the elite Party Poker Premier League V. An elite tournament featuring an elite $1.6 million prize pool and a $500,000 elite first place prize. The winner was avuncular American Scott Seiver, who bested a final table including Tom Dwan, Sam Trickett, and Patrik Antonius.

After busting out in 7th, record breaking endurance crazy-man Phil Laak hot-footed it over to the Big Game – a 48 hour cash table also organized by those rascals at Party Poker. The Unabomber maintained his reputation for extreme stamina by emerging as the game’s biggest winner with a profit of €160,000. [Poker News]

Sam Holden Existentialism

Just like the rest of you, I’ve spent many sleepless nights wondering what it must be like to be Irish November Niner Sam Holden. Well you need wonder no more. A documentary entitled ‘Being Sam Holden’ is due to air May 2nd in the UK and Ireland, with screenings in the rest of the world scheduled for later in the year. It follows Sam’s trials and tribulations at last year’s World Series where he finished 9th for over $700k. [IFTN]

Manila Millions

Right now in the Philippines, a group of players are battling for the Manila Millions title. A HKD$1,000,000 ($129,000) tournament organized by the Asian Poker Tour. Supposedly among the locals are the likes of Phil Ivey, Tom Dwan, Johnny Chan, and Sam Trickett.

If you’re lucky, you could catch a glimpse of these pros on the “live stream” airing right now. The feed currently features a group of asian men sitting around a table, with an asian lady commentating in a language I don’t understand. People who’ve been watching it longer than me insist that it’s repeated itself at least once, calling the whole ‘live’ thing into question. I can tell you that they are definitely playing poker, but that’s about as far as I’m willing to go. [WPT Mag]

Stars Beat Table Ratings in Poker Battle

The war against datamining took a big swing in favour of PokerStars this week as they successfully forced tracking site Poker Table Ratings to remove all information scraped from their poker client. For years, players had used PTR to gain information on potential opponents by accessing graphs formed from thousands upon thousands of hands. However, after receiving a cease and desist letter from Stars, PTR have been forced to eradicate a huge chunk of their service. [Part Time Poker]

EGBA Publish EU Manifesto

The European Union is a confusing beast at the best of times. Sometimes a united whole, but more often a loose alliance of countries with wildly conflicting agendas. The approach taken by various EU states to online gambling is an excellent example of the varying philosophies present across the continent. After months of consultation and debate, the European Commission will release an online gaming ‘communication and action plan’ this summer. A trade group for European operators – the European Gaming and Betting Association – have weighed in with their own manifesto, which they no doubt hope will influence the EC’s final decision. [InterGame Online]

AGCC Full Tilt Hearing Scheduled

The Alderney Gambling Control Commission have announced their plans to hold a public hearing into Full Tilt’s application for a new license. Excuse me if I don’t get overly excited about this one, but the last time I turned up for a public AGCC hearing on an FTP license, I spent a day sitting in a hotel lobby while teams of lawyers debated behind closed doors. Odds are pretty low on Full Tilt’s council once again attempting to argue for a session that takes place ‘in camera’. [Poker News Report]

While the media lay down a carpet of solid adulation for Pius Heinz, the world’s wheels keep on turning. Join me, as we find out what’s been swept under the global news carpet while the world’s latest millionaire was parading about in his jangly new wrist ornament.

PokerStars Outplayed on Landmark Hand #

PokerStars are still top dogs in the world of online poker and, just to rub it in, they decided to celebrate their 70 billionth hand by giving whoever won it lots and lots of cash. Two enterprising players decided to game the system by continuously folding to each other across multiple heads up tables. Their sneaky plan worked to perfection and they joyously scooped up the prize money. Whether you think they were geniuses or cheats depends on your outlook. Youtube polemicist EVhero definitely falls on the angry side of the argument. [Youtube]

Playtech and William Hill Lock Horns #

I reported a few weeks ago on the mass walkouts at William Hill Online’s Israeli offices. At the time it appeared to be a simple labour dispute, but the Financial Times suggests deeper concerns. The online gambling company is co-owned by Playtech and British bookmakers William Hill. Relations between the two firms are frosty at best, with concerns about split loyalties among staff in worldwide offices. [Financial Times]

Bwin.party Profit From Italian Renaissance #

Meanwhile, Bwin and PartyGaming are still enjoying a blissful honeymoon period. Recently released financial reports indicate an increase in revenue of 3% to 201.1 million euros. The company credits increasingly relaxed Italian gaming laws for the rise in profit. Not to mention picking up their fair share of poker refugees in the wake of Full Tilt’s Black Friday debacle. [Reuters]

British Poker Pros Enjoy the Spotlight #

Finally, a quick word from the BBC. Earlier this week, the unimpeachable British bastion dedicated a quiet corner of its news website to UK poker players. Written just before the start of the November Nine, the reporter’s hopes for Sam Holden were sadly premature, but it still represents a rare chance to see poker pros in the media without any appended bleating on the dangers of online gambling. Plus, you can watch Sam and Liv Boeree play heads up for a delicious Wispa bar. [BBC]

I’m off to search London for a Wispa Gold, the confectionery equivalent of a WSOP bracelet. I’ll keep my beady eye peeled for any stray bits of news that are blowing across the pavement, while you keep your gaze fixed firmly on Pokerati. I’ll know if you move.