Let me tell you, a party isn’t a party unless the night ends with two male revellers waxing intimate parts of their bodies. At least, that’s what I am forced to conclude after an initially civil gathering at my place devolved into a test of hairless endurance. Consider this column my rehabilitation.

Catalan Poker

London might have a poker festival just around the corner, but right now Barcelona is the place to be if you’re the sort of person who likes levels and prize pools. A few days ago a man known as the “Ox of Rome” avoided being murdered by Hercules to take down the Estrallas Poker Tour for €200,000. [OnlinePoker.net]

And with barely time to draw breath, we’re straight into EPT Barcelona, with the €50,000 Super High Roller event already completed. The victor was rising star Dan Smith, who cut a deal at the final table to walk away with €962,925. [PokerStars Blog]

High Rollers en Cannes

Speaking of High Roller events, the World Series of Poker Europe – which kicks off at the end of next month – has announced its own big buy-in tournament. A €50,000 Re-Entry tournament starts on October 2nd and, while it will have a large prize pool, it sadly won’t award any of those shiny bracelets everyone seems to be so keen on. [PokerNews]

Lock Poker Accused of Misleading Users

What with government intervention, bank fraud, and trojan viruses to worry about, people don’t seem to complain about rigged shufflers anymore. That said, having an independently certified random number generator is a vital part of any reputable operation. Which is why organizations like eCOGRA give out special badges to companies they deem to have fair and balanced software. It’s also why 2+2 users are in an uproar over Lock Poker neglecting to remove their old certification, despite having left the Merge Network 6 months ago. [4Flush]

Bwin Fails in South America

Continuing their crusade to make more money fight for the rights of online gambling, Bwin have been going mano-a-government in Argentina. In a frankly un-shocking result, the courts decided to uphold the rights of the country’s gambling monopoly. [Online-Casinos.com]

Nokia Calls on Zynga

I feel a bit weird reporting on non-gambling Zynga news, but I guess they’re a relevant force in our industry these days. Plus, we all know that Dan is one of the biggest Facebook sharks of all time. Maybe he’ll be buying a Nokia Asha Touch, now that Zynga Poker has been announced as launch software. [Card Player]

I feel like I should have made it clear up there that I am not one of the unfortunate souls now in possession of a streamlined undercarriage. Not nearly enough alcohol had passed my lips to make that seem like a good idea. Which means I’ll be fighting fit for next week’s column, provided I don’t accidentally throw any more parties in the next seven days. Wish me luck.

J Todd returns from the Barcelona Affiliate Conference where he mingled with online gambling executives, operators, and webmasters. Plus, he has an update on the US Department of Justice amending its indictment against online poker site Full Tilt to include running a Ponzi scheme:

In recent years, the World Poker Tour’s tournaments not held in North America were not televised. This will change for next season’s tournaments, starting with the Grand Prix de Paris at the Aviation Club de France in May, as Matchroom Sport will be producing European WPT events for worldwide television distribution. Matchroom will be looking to add to their success television poker events such as “The Big Game”, “Durrrr Million Dollar Challenge”, “Party Poker World Poker Open”, among other made-for-TV events.

The Season 9 schedule has not been released, but two tournaments in Europe have already been announced, the Spanish Championship in Barcelona May 13th and D’Amneville in France in November.

It appears that the WPT Europe that was announced in February 2008 may finally get off the ground this year in its attempt to compete with the mighty European Poker Tour. A criticism of the WPT as its tournament schedule has decreased has been its focus on staying in North America. However, at least 4 tournaments are scheduled to take place in Europe and Africa in the coming months.

Besides the already announced WPT Venice in May and WPT Marrakech in October, two more WPT tournaments have been announced this week. The WPT Spanish Championship returns to Barcelona in late June, while in September the WPT-Merit Cyprus Classic Poker Tournament makes its debut. None of these tournaments are scheduled to air in the US, but the action can be followed online or broadcast on European television.

Also noteworthy are the various online poker sites that don’t allow US customers that are getting on the WPT bandwagon to hold satellites for these WPT tournaments like bwin in Venice and Chili Poker in Marrakech. The season VIII schedule for the rest of the tour has yet to be announced, and will be interesting to see what other changes will appear.