Dear Pokerati: Dirty Chip Tricks

A reader writes with an important question about poker manners and potential shadiness:

Hi Dan,

There is a player who has apparently been going around town playing and sit next to a player, get friendly then slowly starts shuffling with their chips, then 10 minutes later when your all into the game and the girl, she slides that money over to her stack. she got busted twice doing it at a place and Other people tell me she does it there too. What kind of etiquette is that ya know! I just want her to stop befor she gets into my stack and trust me I dont mind slapping a bitch.

— Anony Miss

Dear A.M.,

Thanks for your email. We have consulted Robert\’s Rules of Poker, and cannot find anything on this specific situation … however we did find the following guidelines from Pink Floyd: \”Money, get back / I\’m all right jack keep your hands off of my stack.\” To be sure, uninvited chip-fondling is almost always inappropriate, and even when it occurs between two consenting adults, it\’s rude to assume everyone else at the table is comfortable with such public displays of possible collusion.

Next time you encounter her or any other handsy poker vixen, simply ask her politely to stop, in a non-threatening way, such as, \”Excuse me, please stop stealing my chips, ma\’am.\” If that doesn\’t work and you find it difficult to express your frustration in the form of a check-raise, you should call \”floor\” and explain that you believe your opponent to be a dirty, cheating whore. In the meantime, we recommend you seek counseling — it will be a step in the right direction at getting to the root of your anger and in general helping you deal with the uncouth assheads who tend to be a ubiquitous presence in both poker and life.