Image courtesy of The Lodge Card Club
This past Tuesday, the Lodge poker room, co-owned by poker stars Doug Polk, Brad Owen, and Andrew Neeme, and situated just outside Austin, was shut down by the Texas Alcohol and Beverage Commission.
Some wondered if the private club had been serving alcohol to minors, but rumors soon swirled that the closure had been caused by another misuse of liquid assets: money laundering.
Indeed, according to reports by Poker News (Pokerati’s wealthy identical cousin), the TABC issued a statement on Thursday, alleging that money-laundering had found a safe haven at the Lodge. No mention was made of the dollar amount involved, but suffice it to say it was a lot more than laundry money.
The statement also alleged that illegal gambling took place on the premises. A loophole in Texas law allows peer-to-peer gambling in private clubs like The Lodge, but I can’t say that I am shocked to find that illegal gambling was also occurring there. Paralegal gambling would be a surprise.
As the raid unfolded, agents instructed players to take their chips home and come back at a date to be determined to cash them in. Fortunately, a tournament director was on hand to yell at everybody to make sure they put their chips in a rack while moving them.
It’s difficult to know how serious this will turn out to be, but the reaction from the poker community was best summed up by Poker News Podcast host, Chad Holloway:
Vying for the under(bank)statement of the century, Chad posted, “Not good,” on the hog wallow formerly known as Twitter.
At first, Doug Polk took a measured tone while addressing the shutdown on X:
But things got a little heated when Tom Dwan took this as an opportunity to kick a man when he is down about kicking other people when they were down:
Code Doug didn’t dig:
I know Doug was in the heat of the moment, responding to Dwan, but calling the investigation a “witch hunt” sounds a little too much like a president I know describing the normal and necessary work of crucial government agencies.
As they say down in Texas, “That witch won’t hunt.”
Lodge partner Brad Owen expressed a similar spin with his tweet : “Some people in Texas don’t like poker. Unfortunately, that is what happens.”
Whether or not there’s been wrongdoing, you don’t win in court or in the court of public opinion by accusing the accusers. Actually, that’s been working for the Carnival Barker in Chief ever since Roy Cohn taught him how to do it, but he’s got special powers of attorney. Don’t try this at home.
I think it would be wise to remember what happened to another pair of famous lodge members, Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton.
On The Honeymooners, to quote scripture, when Ralph and Norton are scheming as to how they can afford to join their Raccoon Lodge brothers at the annual convention in Minneapolis, Ralph decides that he has to make the ultimate sacrifice and invite his wife, Alice, because she’s the only one with spare cash.
When he goes to tell her, Alice wants to tell him something, but Ralph insists on speaking first. Alice is overjoyed and tells Ralph that she’s glad he went first because she was going to tell him she had decided to give him the money so he could go stag.
Having watched the whole thing unfold, Norton asks Ralph why he didn’t let Alice speak first. Ralph’s response is the immortal running gag, “Because I got a B-I-I-I-G MOUTH!”
So, I guess what I’m trying to say, Doug, is what you told Tom Dwan: “shut the fuck up.“
As for Andrew Neeme, so far, he’s the silent partner. Maybe he is an owner in Neeme only.
You Can Still Have a Wildcard Whacky Week
With the private club closed pending further investigation, the WPT Wildcard Whacky Weekend at the Lodge, scheduled for Friday through Sunday, has been cancelled.
If you had planned to travel to Austin for this event, may I suggest still going and devoting a sliver of your bankroll to checking out the SXSW Film and Music Festival, presently going on within the Austin city limits. It would do you good to take in some culture, and you just might help Keep Austin Weird.
As tech bros, mansplaining comedians, and manosphere podcasters have invaded the city, buying up real estate and sucking up to Joe Rogan, the funky old Austin that I love is disappearing.
It could really stand some un-gentrification, and I’m sure a crowd of low stakes poker players could bring that in spades, hearts, clubs, and diamonds.
Player In Make Up
We’ve all watched the video. I’m just glad she didn’t play her cards close to her chest.
Have a great week.
