Phil Hellmuth Sells!

Speaking of Thrillist … my other, non-poker gig … one thing we\’ve learned over there is that Thrillist readers care way more about night clubs, booze, restaurants, race cars, and tiddy bars than they ever do about poker.

So I was a little surprised to get the numbers back from last week\’s edition, where an item about Phil Hellmuth\’s new website for his clothing line was the highest performer. Really? Yep … A decidedly non-pokery readership found the PokerBrat\’s T-shirts and Pep Pills more intriguing than an MGM bar, a new gambling-themed wine, casino decor, and a corner of P-Ho where blackjack dealers wear lingerie:

From Thrillist:

Wear: PokerBrat Clothing
These surprisingly subtle tees come from the John McEnroe of poker, 11-time WSOP champ Phil Hellmuth, with highlights including \”Poker Tree\” (\”grow that chip pile from a toothpick to a lumberyard\”), and \”Poker Skater\”, harkening back to his U of Wisconsin transpo from barroom games back to his dorm. Less tastefully, Hellmuth also hawks books, DVDs, and \”Go Heads-Up\” energy pills, guaranteed to keep you at the table long enough to lose your subtle tee.
Check out shirts and more at PokerBrat.com

They really are some pretty cool shirts. But perhaps the scary thing is clicking through the site, where Hellmuth tries his hand at pokery grocery-store romance. Click below to read about a poker-bratty encounter with the woman who would later become his wife:

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD – LATER THAT NIGHT

She still kicks along. A motorbike headlight comes into view
 and soon does a U-Turnand coughs to a stop next to her.

PHIL
 Need a lift?
 And she skates past him. He sputters after her.

PHIL
 Let me give you a lift.

KATHY
 I was having fun in there until you
 ruined it!

PHIL
 Sometimes I just...get lost in poker.
 Sometimes--

KATHY
 Sometimes you\'re just a big asshole? You
 left me standing in the dark, Phil, in
 the parking lot of a tavern I didn\'t
 wannabe at in the first place!
 That hits him.

PHIL
 I\'m sorry. You drive.
 (hegets off the cycle)
 I\'ll skate. The rest of the way.

KATHY
 Don\'t bluff me.

PHIL
 (bluffing)
 I\'m not bluffing you.

KATHY
 Yes you are.

PHIL
 No I\'m not.

KATHY
 Good.
 And she runs the motorcycle to a start and roars off. He
 stands in the dark and stares at the disappearing taillight.
 Shocked, he walks a few confused circles in the middle of the
 empty country road. Looks at the skateboard in his hands.

PHIL
 Son of a bitch.
 He starts kicking along on her board, into the night.
 OMITTED50 50
 INT.
 KATHY\'S APARTMENT - MUCH LATER THAT NIGHT51 51

KATHY opens the doorand is surprised to find a sweaty,
 scraped-up Phil, obviously a terrible skateboarder.

PHIL
 Wanted to make sure you got your
 skateboard back.
 She takes itand smiles at him, dishevelled...but charming.
 This guy IS relentless.

KATHY
 I don\'t like liking you.
 And she pulls him in for a kiss.

PHIL
 I don\'t like it that you don\'t like
 liking me. (kissing) But I get a feeling
 that you like it that I don\'t like it
 that you don\'t like liking me.

KATHY
 (laughing)
 Shut up.
 Now they\'re being watched by her Flaming Lipsposters as they
 pull off each other\'s shirts on her cheap couch. These are
 tough kids. Hungry. Lonely.