Tiffany and Maria Representing Poker in The Amazing Race

I watched the season premiere of The Amazing Race last night … and I gotta say, I\’m already hooked on the show, but probably for all the wrong reasons.

Guilty pleasure, I suppose. As a man who has misread my own standing and floundered prolifically before, I\’m finding it oh-so-enjoyable — cringe-tickley, I\’d say — to watch two hot(ish) poker girls (one of whom I kinda-sorta know personally) gloriously stumble for my amusement. Seriously, mocking each other\’s failures and belittling successes is the foundation of some of my strongest, most enduring friendships! I think it\’s how guys show love.

In the premiere episode of The Amazing Race, we see Tiffany and Maria start out in 1st, drop down to last, and rebound to finish in 7th. In the process they paint themselves (and poker pros) in a less than favorable light.

According to the E! Online blog:

The first team to put a bitter taste in our mouths, however, are unendearing professional poker players Maria Ho and Tiffany Michelle, who incurred a two-hour penalty after losing two of their group. The shady duo rival Johnny Fairplay\’s dead-grandma fib by telling teammates they work as counselors for a nonprofit organization helping homeless youth…a great lie, if you can keep it up for more than an hour. They couldn\’t when recognized at the airport by a poker fan, they basked in his adulation…within earshot of their amazed competitors. The duo also shared another \”savvy\” strategy: flirting with cute brothers Sam and Dan McMillen. Both of whom are gay and playing their cards right by flirting right back with the femmes fatales.

Click below for more highlights, lowlights, and poker-focussed observations from episode 1:

  • Two members of the Harlem Globetrotters get to wear shirts promoting their brand. But no Ultimate Bet paraphernalia. Total bullshit, right?
  • Maria and Tiffany say they don\’t like Zev and Kevin — who unbeknownst to them had already shown themselves to be the darling \”good guys\” of the cast.
  • Zev, who has Asperger\’s Syndrome (a type of autism), says he doesn\’t get a \”warm fuzzy feeling\” from Tiffany and Maria.
  • Other TAR players — we\’re only one episode in — call them \”liars\” and \”shady\”. Gee, such labels attached to an Ultimate Bet pro and associate? Shocking.
  • Maria and Tiffany say they don\’t believe Lance is a lawyer. He is, albeit a douchey one.
  • Tiffany believes she and Maria are \”rich\” … as in wealthy.
  • Maria lets Tiffany down by not eating a golf-ball size chunk of wasabi fast enough.
  • The purple duo go through a spell where they aren\’t talking to each other.
  • Tiffany lets down Maria by \”losing\” two of 20 Japanese tourists when it was her responsibility not to do so. Needle-in-the-haystack search for them on the streets of downtown Tokyo=funny.
  • Maria knows how to make really good Vietnamese food.
  • Tiffany showed she has some skills when it comes to herding ducks.

I\’m still rooting for the girls, of course … surely they\’ll make it past the halfway point with qualities that seem custom-made for competitive reality TV.