Today I would like to debut a new profession: Zournalism. If you’ve ever tried journalism before, then you will recognize a few similarities. For example, all of its constituent parts, practices, and disciplines are the same. Anyone who reads or undertakes journalism should be able to transition to Zournalism without noticing any difference, other than the added frisson of doing something that begins with a ‘Z’.

Zoom Poker Exits Beta

In unrelated news, PokerStars have officially launched Zoom Poker. When you fold a hand during a Zoom game you are instantly transported to another table and dealt a new hand. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure there used to be a company called Full Tilled, or something like that, who had this ‘Rush Poker’ idea that was strikingly similar. They didn’t have an Android app though so I’m sure this is totally different. [WPT Mag]

Blaze Poker Enters Beta

In even more unrelated news, Ladbrokes have launched Blaze Poker, an exciting new format in which players are dealt a new hand every time they fold. They are the first company on the Microgaming network to unveil this new software. Other Microgaming sites are expected to add Blaze Poker to their roster, in a wave of brazen plagiarism. [Card Player]

Overpriced Bulgaria Slashes Fees

Bulgaria may have overestimated their attractiveness to the online poker industry. After following the increasingly common European model of ordering local ISPs to block all external gambling sites, they set about imposing their system of regulations and taxes. Unfortunately, their ambitious attempts to impose a 15% levy on all gambling outfits have been foiled by the major EU nations charging what amounts to half that much. The Bulgarian tax rate is set to drop to either six or eight percent. [Casino Choice]

Belgium Welcomes Online Gambling

Belgium, on the other hand, are having no such problems. Their ‘ban all outsiders and offer our own licenses’ plan is working out very well, with both PokerStars and Partouche setting up camp in the centre of the world’s waffle industry. The particulars of the Belgian system require a company to be partnered with a local bricks-and-mortar casino, but – in a move that sets them apart from the continental trend – does allow players to join networks that include players from around the world. [OnlinePoker.net]

Bwin.Party’s Mixed Results

It’s all business over at bwin.Party, with Q1 financial results revealing a 1% rise in overall revenue, masking a 3% fall in poker figures. They will doubtless be hoping that their upcoming ‘social gaming platform’ adds a little extra boost to their poker numbers. A man in a press release said they would be “leveraging core assets,” so it’s bound to be good. [Tight Poker]

I’ve scrapped my plans for Zournalism, it wasn’t working out. Tune in for next week’s Wider World of Poker where I plan to unveil Bournalism, a new style with hundreds of brand new, never before seen, tried and tested, well worn features. I can feel your excitement bubbling at the mere thought. Try your best not to rip me off in the intervening days.

Isn’t the media weird? This week, my Prime Minister was left to wander the United States being posh. Luckily Barack caught up with him before he ensnared any commoners and the pair seem to have had a jolly old time. Most notably, watching basketball games while manoeuvring disturbingly yellow hot dogs into their faces.

In fact, the trip has been so void of substance that the BBC ran a report detailing how the U.S. press have had nothing to report. I expect the New York Times to respond with an even more self-reflexive story about the BBC and so on, until every media outlet only runs articles that detail what other outlets are not saying about what isn’t going on. Don’t fret, however. This faithful journalist will stick purely to the finest cuts of poker news, as this opening paragraph surely indicates.

Full Tilt and Tapie To Tie Up Tryst?

The rumour mill informs us that Full Tilt and Group Bernard Tapie have nearly finished thrashing out a deal to relaunch the tarnished site. We’ve experienced plenty of false dawns before, so don’t get out your party hats just yet. That said, Gaming Intelligence are reporting a deadline of today (March 16th) is in place, so we should know pretty soon whether or not to start laying out the celebratory buffet. [Part Time Poker]

Haxton Wins Again

The much anticipated rematch between Isaac Haxton and Viktor “Isildur1” Blom stumbled its way to completion earlier this week. As part of the PokerStars SuperStar Showdown the famously volatile Swede has been taking on, and beating, all comers. Haxton was one of the few to have bested him and proved the victor once again as they reunited. After 2500 hands, Isaac’s margin of victory was a slender $5,093. [Card Player]

Partouche Invasion

Typical! The Prime Minister leaves the country and the next thing you know, the French are invading our sovereign internet. Partouche – one of the big players in France’s insular gaming market – have got themselves a license from Malta and are planning to launch themselves on a handful of foreign countries, including the UK. Online sportsbook France-Pari are also getting in on the act. [Gambling Kingz]

Bulgaria & Online Gambling’s Love/Hate Relationship

Regulated online gambling is on its way to Bulgaria, with the local government hammering out the details of the country’s first Gambling Bill. Great news for Martenitsa-wearing poker players everywhere. However, the Bulgarian government clearly believe in maintaining a cosmic equilibrium, having first introduced legislation requiring ISPs to block all unlicensed sites. Given that it is not yet possible to acquire licenses, that black list would include just about everyone. [Novinite]

Spain Deny Early Licences

While we’re talking about licenses that don’t exist, let’s hop over to the other side of Europe for some tapas. With regulated online gambling almost upon the Spanish, there are rumours that some companies have had their license applications secretly pre-approved. Gaming regulator Enrique Alejo denies it. “Good progress had been made,” he told a journalist, before adding “oh look, a Spanish Imperial Eagle,” while stuffing large quantities of paper into a briefcase*. [Poker Fuse]

Italy a Hotbed of Euro-Poker 

If you’re looking for lots of online poker games in Europe, your best bet is to seek out the country shaped most like a piece of footwear. No other nation on the continent draws in as much cash from online poker, although the practice still pails in comparison to the buzzing, flashing gaming machines that pepper non-digital Italy. [Market Watch]

*Some of that last sentence may not be 100% factually accurate.

I know we poker people hate lotteries (unless of course there’s a ridiculous Powerball overlay), but recent results in Bulgaria seem worthy of mention …

The numbers for the Bulgarian Lottery on September 6:

4, 15, 23, 24, 35, 42

The numbers for the Bulgarian Lottery on September 10:

4, 15, 23, 24, 35, 42

The BBC reports the odds of this happening as 1-in-4 million. ABC-Australia puts them at 1-in-14 million.

Poker people know statistical mathematics is often debatable, and the above occurrence is far more likely than quad aces losing to a royal flush.

Interestingly enough, nobody picked those six numbers the first go-round. On the do-over, 18 people picked them — a Bulgarian lotto record.

Each of the winners will get 10,164 leva (equal to €5,196 or US$7,643). While that might not seem like enough to create shenanigans, the average monthly salary in Bulgaria is about €400

The Bulgarian government is investigating … Perhaps sadly, you cannot find out more information about this at Lotterati.com.

Meanwhile, our buddy Tom, the high-stakes pro who coulda made more money at Bellagio as a volunteer blogger than he did as a poker player during his 5-diamond extended weekend, is apparently all the rage in Bulgaria. Pic #1 of 100 … pretty impressive:

(Thanks, Shamus, for the link.)