Poker must be the most boring activity in the world. Why else would the industry focus its cameras on the most ridiculous people?
We have spelling bees and Scrabble championships on TV and none of the competitors have little “charks†and make munching sounds then yell their name “HUMBERTO, HUMBERTOâ€Â. None of them spell a tough word and start making animal sounds while moving their bodies in hunchback dance moves. Could you imagine Humberto as a little kid competing in a spelling bee and yelling his name every time he spelled a word correctly, then getting out a little Power Ranger and acting like he is going to hit the little girl he is competing against?
We as poker players should want nice people with lots of money to come play with us. Do you think when Bill Gates sees Hevad Kahn doing his monkey noises and strange gyrations he says to himself, “boy I want to play with that guy? Maybe I could get that guy to represent Microsoft.†I’m guessing not; however, I guess that’s exactly what Pokerstars says. He is now a face on Pokerstars. Why would any company want to associate with these embarrassing people? Answer, they get a lot of exposure on TV. Michael Vick is getting a ton of exposure, I hear he likes gambling too, and he’s available for about 5-10 years.
Poker is reaching the lowest common denominator, and it’s a joke. I am really tired of people having to exhibit ridiculous behavior in order to get noticed in poker. There was actually a guy at a featured table at the main event who made balloon animals for the other players at the table. Are people really this desperate to get on TV? The answer is clear. Therefore, I have compiled a list of things that I’m willing to do at a featured table next year.
- Bring a large block of ice and chisel an ice sculpture of Norman Chad.
- Recite poetry
- Dress in renaissance clothing and use a turkey leg as a card protector while spouting such phrases as “Oh my damsel, you must taketh the spoils of the pot for you are a most worthy adversaryâ€Â
- Strap a fake bomb to myself and continue to chant in some middle-eastern bogus language so security is forced to find someone who speaks my language
- Wear no shirt and have on masking tape underwear
- Last but not least, play my best, be nice and have fun.
Is that not enough anymore?
I would love for these idiots not to be shown on TV. Why? There are so many reasons but here are just a few.
These kinds of behaviors encourage others to be more ridiculous, and they must be more over-the-top in order to get attention. That reminds me of the WWF (World Wrestling Federation)
Imagine if all players behaved this way, poker would suck so bad, all decent people would be done. It would take forever to play one round because each player would have to shout their name, do some monkey dance and then hold up their cards to the audience and start singing.
Whether they believe it or not, these people are not entertaining. They are not characters of the game. They are trying way too hard. Characters act themselves which is what makes them unique. These types of people will be remembered as inconsiderate and juvenile. They are irritating, rude and most of all show horrible sportsmanship. Could you imagine Tiger or Phil behaving this way on the golf course? Tiger would not have received all of the wonderful spoils he has gotten without class and composure.
I don’t mind the occasional fist pump on a really important hand; however, most white guys suck at that.
I’m tired of people defending these celebratory idiots. He’s a nice guy away from the table. I keep hearing this. I disagree. It’s like saying besides beating his wife, he’s a great guy. Great guys don’t stomp on someone after a devastating loss. They beat their opponent then shake their hand. I have seen cage fighters kick the shit out of their opponent then go hug them when the match is over.
Let’s get our industry out of the gutter and make poker entertaining because of the cunning, calculating guts that the best players have.