World Series of Failure

No more Tom twitters until …

by , Jun 18, 2009 | 8:01 am

I feel kinda bad (not really) for crushing Tom’s soul. But I was hearing the same story from him as I’ve heard from at least a half-a-dozen other pros finding similar results: “I’m playing great! I’m making sick laydowns! My mental state is good! Just running bad. Cold cold cold. It’s getting frustrating. But I’m playing some of the best poker of my life! Jesus, [everyone else] is just getting lucky!”

Yeah. Uh-huh. That’s gotta be what it is … it’s clearly not possible that the deadest money on the table is someone who thinks they’re playing their A-game but isn’t compared to everyone else. In an effort to get a semi-retired Pokerati blogger and my best pro pal to consider shifting gears, I sent him the net-results rankings for everyone who has played in the 2009 WSOP under the Team Pokerati banner:

1. Gregg Merkow
2. Cliff Fisher
3. Robert Goldfarb
4. John Harris
5. Julie Schneider
6. Pat Poels
7. Shoegal
8. Tom Schneider

I then reminded him that the guy who picked him to be on his ESPN Fantasy Team (Gary Wise) is in dead last place. (Ha ha.)

You get the gist. The numbers don’t lie repeatedly. So while “playing some of the best poker of my life!” … not only is the DonkeyBomber something like 0-for-13 in cashing in tournaments, but also he hasn’t even made a Day 2. So before he finds himself trying to trade jewelry with Eskimo Clark for a satellite buy-in, he has decided to change his game says he will no longer be twittering until he bags chips for the first time in the 2009 WSOP. Good gameplan.

Click here to see the beginnings of a first-half WSOP fail regaled in increments of 140 characters or less. We’ll see if Tom returns with a vengeance or if his twitter account, along with his poker career, fades into oblivion.


2 Comments to “World Series of Failure ”


  1. bill
    says:

    This guy’s your friend right?

    For the record I do not want to be your enemy.


  2. DanM
    says:

    Indeed. But hey, I can’t help it if he’s twittering teetering in the relegation zone!