Are You Ready for Some Lotto?!?

The (American) football season is upon us … fantasy sports drafts and all that stuff. But more than that, some new NFL lottery tickets are hitting the 7-Elevens near you! $5 Eagles and Steelers scratch-off tickets (seen here) went on sale last week in Pennsylvania, and the New Jersey lottery will give the NFL a cut on Jets and Giants tickets sold … despite the fact that the super-duper majority of participants in this game of chance are guaranteed to lose.

UPDATE: A Dallas Cowboys scratch-off also went on sale last week.

In Massachusetts, Patriots lottery tickets are selling at a record pace, and have already awarded their first two million-dollar prizes. Wanna be a little disgusted by one of the poker industry\’s biggest political opponents … check out the familiar pitch the NFL itself is using in promoting their rake game:

New England Patriots, the newest $5 instant game, is a partnership between the perennial NFL powerhouse and the Massachusetts State Lottery. Treasurer Timothy P. Cahill and Robert Kraft, Chairman and CEO of The Kraft Group, announced the historic partnership last week at Gillette Stadium.

\”Our winning partnership with the Patriots will enable us to raise millions for taxpayers while strengthening the Lottery\’s portfolio and market presence,\” said Treasurer Cahill, chairman of the Massachusetts State Lottery Commission. \”This is a perfect example of doing well by doing good.\”

[…]

Derrick Gorman, a Plymouth factory plant manager, had the choice between moving his wife and four kids to Illinois with his company or going on unemployment. He couldn\’t believe his eyes when he scratched his $1 million ticket after putting his kids to bed on Tuesday night.

\”I really didn\’t want to relocate the family to Illinois. My wallet told me to go, but my gut told me to stay,\” Gorman said. \”I just got off the phone with my boss and told him that we wouldn\’t be going. We own our house and I\’ve lived here all my life. This is a huge relief for my family. This is once in a lifetime.\”

The New England Patriots instant ticket is expected to generate more than $151 million in sales, reward players with more than $116 million in prizes and raise $22 million in local aid.

That\’s right football fans … if you\’re at your bottom dollar, make sure you spend it on NFL lottery tickets! The more you buy, the more chances you have to win!

How\’s this playing in the sports media:

I\’ll go ahead and argue this is all good, actually, because the more gambling the better! because it weakens the NFL\’s political arms\’ position in Washington DC. And don\’t totally hate on the NFL quite yet those goddamn motherfuckin hypocritical buzz-killing asshole moralist greedmongers … the Menedez senate bill suggests they might be willing to soften their anti-poker stance (so long as we keep sports betting out of it) … and they theoretically can support the idea of raising tax revenues via card games for a good cause.

Meanwhile, the NFL — partnered with the NBA, NHL, and MLB (but not MLS!) — is headed to a federal appeals court this week, seeking an injunction to stop sports betting in Delaware from kicking off on September 1st, until the matter receives a full hearing in December … you know, the same time the UIGEA is supposed to really go into effect, stopping online poker play while allowing people to buy lottery tickets and bet on fantasy sports online.