Ah, it reminds me of the good-ole-days of the Dallas underground … when a bunch of rooms got ruffled every so often you’d see the merger of a few “bad guys’” games and would be kinda surprised but not really.

With an investigatory explanation due out in a few days, Absolute Poker and Ultimate Bet are merging to form a new site — now the third largest in the world — called “Cereus” — the name for a desert cactus that stands strong and stays prickly in even the harshest environments. A related species is the Cereus uruguayanus, which may or may not lend credence to Oliver’s prediction that very soon the WSOP will move to Montevideo we could see the WSOP in Punta del Este.

The name could also have been inspired by the night-blooming variety:

One of the strangest plants of the desert, the Night-bloomiing Cereus is a member of the Cactus Family that resembles nothing more than a dead bush most of the year. It is rarely seen in the wild because of its inconspicuousness. But for one midsummer’s night each year, its exquisitely scented flower opens as night falls, then closes forever with the first rays of the morning sun.

Aww, so sad, and yet so precious and sweet …

Another operation with a claim to the Cereus name is Bacillus Cereus:

an endemic, soil-dwelling, Gram-positive, rod-shaped, beta hemolytic bacteria that … is known to create heavy nausea, vomiting, and abdominal periods.

Supposedly, according to the first link in this post, this site is gonna be great — it’s the result of all sorts of innovative technology and customer service. The announcement says nothing about it being all cleaned up with the best security out there — and from a PR perspective can you blame them? — even though theoretically this company should have more knowledge than anyone else about how a site’s integrity can be compromised.

Don’t you hate it when you come up with a great idea, and as you’re making it a reality, you realize that someone else is doing it at the same time? Doh.

Enter Bodog and Full Tilt. Though Bodog seems to have officially announced first, Full Tilt was probably writing its press release as it happened. Both sites are hosting Mini-SOP’s with tournaments that mimic the World Series of Poker at the Rio in Las Vegas, only with buy-ins at 1% of the cost. Both sets of tournaments begin on May 30, the day that the actual WSOP kicks off.

The Bodog Poker Mini-SOP will feature all 25 hold’em events at 1% of the buy-in with three seats awarded to the 2009 WSOP main event at the end of the 2008 Mini-SOP. The series will run from May 30 to July 3.

The Full Tilt Poker Mini Series of Poker will actually feature 54 events, with all corresponding to actual WSOP events except the ladies and seniors events which are converted to open events, and the casino employees event which is nixed. The tournaments will run from May 30 to July 5 and give away one seat to the 2009 WSOP main event.

As you can see, the differences between the two tournament series are huge!

Regardless, both are great opportunities to play online WSOP-light events and take advantage of the many satellite opportunities to get in cheap. Check out Bodog and Full Tilt for all of the details.

It has been brought to my attention - *ahem* - that Josh Arieh and Bodog parted ways amicably and by way of a mutual decision. At least that’s what Arieh said in a PokerNews interview.

“Luckily I have been smart with the money I’ve earned in the last five years in poker and not being sponsored won’t keep me away from the tables. It was a great three-year run with Bodog. Angela (Josh’s wife) and I have met a few of our closest friends through Bodog and it probably wouldn’t have been possible if I weren’t with them. I won the Calvin Ayre Wildcard Poker event because of my affiliation with them. I’ve got nothing but kind words to say about them… they were a stepping stone in my life and now I’m ready to move on to bigger and better things that I know will present themselves to me.”

Okay, okay. So Bodog didn’t boot Arieh. I still have my doubts about what went on behind closed doors, but that is solely my opinion.

Bodog Poker announced this week that Justin “ZeeJustin” Bonomo has been signed to its roster of pros that comprise Team Bodog. He joins David Williams, Evelyn Ng, and Jean-Robert Bellande.

Where is Josh Arieh? According to his stats, he’s doing well. His Hendon Mob stats show that he has over $4.5 million in lifetime tournament earnings thus far, including two WSOP bracelets. In 2007, he made close to $200k, and he stands at $71,682 for 2008 so far. But he has been dropped from the Bodog roster because the company wants to move in a “different direction.” Quite possibly, that direction is away from married guys with kids, which probably doesn’t fit the definition of living the so-called Bodog lifestyle.

In the meantime, Evelyn Ng stays on the team. Her lifetime tournament earnings are… wait for it… $301,957. And in 2008 alone, she has made nothing. Nada. Zip. In 2007, she made $17,457.

Bonomo is a good choice for Bodog. He’s taken his online poker successes to the live circuit and done well with over $1.1 million so far. Yes, he was embroiled in a bit of a scandal during his younger online days, but he has made a sincere effort to overcome that stigma and become a respected member of the poker community.

What leaves me shaking my head is the decision to drop Arieh and keep Ng. If anyone has an answer other than, “She’s pretty,” I’d love to hear it.

The Final Four is set … and PokerStars, Ultimate Bet, and Bodog have all been fully eliminated. The upcoming matches:

Phil Ivey vs. Chris Ferguson
Huck Seed vs. Andy Bloch

Holy crap, it looks like it will be some actual hardcore competition amongst four notably accomplished players. Who woulda thunk it?

Also totally shocking commendable is that CardPlayer’s coverage is kicking butt …

More…

As the players on Day 3 of the L.A. Poker Classic approach the money bubble, there are still some very well-known players atop the leader board - Phil Ivey and David Singer. Jennifer Tilly doubled up through Humberto Brenes and is doing well. Alan Goehring, former LAPC champion, is hanging on to make a run at another title.

Sadly, however, Antonio Esfandiari seemed to be on a bad run this evening, then took a hit from Kyle Burnside, and just got eliminated. He’s had a great week with the announcement of his partnership with WPT, but a shot at a second WPT LAPC title would have been icing on the cake. It wasn’t meant to be, but there’s the NBC Heads-Up in a few days, along with the WPT Invitational next weekend. Momentum could take him far if he lets it.

Click below for some semi-gossip-y notes:

More…

LAS VEGAS–Just like old times … I’ve got so many super-fascinating browser tabs open I can’t keep up with them all. So please, allow me to unload:

The major tournament action underway is the LEGENDS of POKER at the BIKE in CALIFORNIA. Perhaps we’ll swing by …

MIKE MATUSOW, with his second-place finish in the main event of the BELLAGIO CUP III, is no longer broke. Apparently his $670k payday left him with 50 grand all to himself. In the real world this means he now qualifies for a loan. In the poker world it means he no longer does, unless he goes broke again.

DANIEL NEGREANU’s got a pretty good skill column this week, talking about manipulating table image to better reap the rewards of shifting gears. Hmm, something to think about?

From the Dept. of: Awesome … PHIL HELLMUTH will appear on The Surreal Life. Might an ass-kicking be inevitable, as he moves into a house with RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE, MISS CLEO, NANCY MCKIBBEN (who?), DABNEY COLEMAN, and the uber-pumped CARROT TOP.

BILL RINI, whom I consider an expert in matters of online cheating, has up a video that I thought was informational warning about a new form of MARKED CARDS circulating. But upon closer look, turns out to be just an ad hawking the illicit poker gear (compliments of GOOGLE).

Interesting (biased?) article here on what Google supposedly does to keep online poker seekers away from the bad poker sites.

Speaking of cheating … has anyone heard word of who might have been the high-stakes players allegedly swindled in major cheating scam at the BORGATA? Famed cheating consultant STEVE FORTE, of course, was one of the guys busted, even though he uses the journalist’s beloved excuse of “I was just working on a story!” Suddenly scary: the notion of tapping into hole-card cams.

Suddenly needed: a big-time poker security accreditation system?

Check it out … DUGGLEBOGEY is back to his old tricks sticks:

Glad to see the return of some more friendly faces.

Here’s a great article on the rise and fall of an ONLINE PRO — how you can go from $10k to $1.5 million and back down again. It coincides with a semi-related story about KaiBuxxe / RealAndyBeal — a 22-year-old Austrian and former MAGIC player who is tearing up the world of POT-LIMIT OMAHA.

And BRIAN TOWNSEND (aka “sbrugby”) — an online superstar turning to live games — is in the midst of a $3 million downswing. This according to his own blog. [via PokerKingBlog]

Dude, tell me about it … I’ve been running similarly bad:

POKER IS HARD!

Looks kinda like a PARTYGAMING stock chart, no?

SHANNON ELIZABETH was unable to play in the Victoria Poker Championships in AUSTRALIA … because she got carded at the door and didn’t have her ID. The male contingent of Pokerati has always wondered why ladies go anywhere without their license/passport/prescription.

Speaking of Australia, it may have slipped under your radar that the AUSSIES, along with CANADA and MACAU, have joined the WTO dispute against the UNITED STATES over the UIGEA. The beef started by ANTIGUA and BARBUDA seems to be growing some teeth, as others fighting against the chief enemy of AL QAEDA include COSTA RICA, INDIA, and … the EUROPEAN UNION. Think this fight isn’t about the future of international online economies as much as it is about poker?

A group called IMEGA continues to challenge the controversial internet law in court, and have their fingers crossed that a federal judge in New Jersey will issue a TEMPORARY RESTRAINING ORDER in September.

Speaking of lawsuits and court actions in September, attorney and PPA representative LEE ROUSSO has a hearing set for his suit, which challenges the Constitutionality of WASHINGTON STATE’s law that makes playing online poker a felony on par with CHILD MOLESTATION.

A CARIBBEAN BUSINESS CONGLOMERATE will be entertaining a bunch of AMERICAN CONGRESSPEOPLE in November to explain Antigua’s WTO stance, among other things. In attendance will be CHARLIE RANGEL (D-NY-Taxes) and BENNIE THOMPSON (D-MS-Homeland Security),

AMERICA ONLINE wants in on online poker. Or at least online SPORTS BETTING, as AOL has entered into an internet bookmaking contract with a GERMAN company, FLUXX, which will target punters in the UK.

A good article from the BRITISH PRESS here — describing the UIGEA as a “TROJAN HORSE” given to the European gambling industry.

Meanwhile, British online gaming company WILLIAM HILL says they are having a hard time keeping poker players, because the EUROS really want to take on the AMERICANS (at Bodog, for example).

Over in the PHILLIPINES, they have (finally) opened up a bar-and-grille with amateur Texas Hold’em tourneys (scroll down near the bottom).

The nightly non-wager Hold ‘Em tournaments at the Player’s Den hope to further sharpen the skills of the Pinoys in this ultimate mind game where we can eventually excel worldwide.

Mabuhay!!! Be proud to be a Filipino.

You may notice a lot of linkage today from this PokerKing guy. He has a lot of good stuff to read, including this article on why JERRY YANG is bad for ONLINE poker. Maybe maybe not, but I tend to agree with the wisdom of LOU KRIEGER, who recognizes that poker is a long-term game, and Yang couldn’t have come at a better time.

Here’s one of the more balanced takes on the JERRY YANG FOR PRESIDENT campaign.

The Bodog Lounge is on wheels this year for the 2007 WSOP Main Event. Bodog’s big busty bus came to town yesterday and whisked players from hotels to the felt while enjoying television, sofas, pretty girls and frosty beverages. Who knows, you may get picked up off the street to hang with David Williams, Josh Arieh or Evelyn Ng.

Anyone sporting Bodog’s black & red gear just might have an awaiting carriage ride. The bus driver, John Doe*, drove the bus from Atlanta to Las Vegas and will be parking the monster at the back entrance of the convention center. Yo check it.

*Name changed because I don’t know his name.

You’re in luck as Bodog has announced an open casting call for the sexy reality show “Calvin Ayre Wild Card Poker II.” Twelve lucky individuals will be selected to compete on and off the felt for a cash prize of $1 million and a $1 million Bodog contract.

Hmmmm, this sounds like a pretty good deal if you like money, fame, poker sponsorships and want to live in a mansion for a month.

The open casting call will be held during the WSOP at Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino running from July 5 – 8 on the fabulous Las Vegas Strip.

Hurry and act fast as Pokerati Dan has serious designs on this competition.

For one…sleep. My children were jumping on me at 7:30 this morning after I went to bed at 3am. Literally, they were jumping. I was having a wonderful dream…I was playing strip poker running through a field of flowers wearing a pretty dress when suddenly I felt a sharp blow to my thigh. Not good (insert Debbie Downer sound effect), possibly quite detrimental when heading into the second day of a tournament; However, it’s nothing a little Red Bull or Amazon Room Menergy can’t fix.

Another thing lacking this year are crappy dealers. Yes, you can always find a few bad apples in the bunch but overall they are running the games quite nicely.

Reportedly, alive and kicking but still lacking is…Vinnie Vinh. While it’s hearsay he’s alive…what good is hearsay? After all, technically he’s still MIA and I don’t mean the Miami Airport. Not to mention it was probably heard from a poker player and poker players shouldn’t be trusted.

Not lacking are some funny blogs bodogbeatpoker, drunken stories and as usual the mispelling of my name.

The World Bank is looking for a new leader to replace Paul Wolfowitz … and on the short list are Tony Blair (online-gambling friendly) and Bill Frist (not-so-friendly). Remember him? In case you don’t — and in case The New York Times is starting to figure out this blogging thing and knows about checking their linkbacks — here’s a video to remind you how Frist approaches economics.

If you want to bet online on who gets the job, Bodog is laying odds. They haven’t updated yet to include Frist, but Bono is currently a 50:1 longshot.

And if politics ain’t your thing, Bodog’s also got odds on Michele’s winning her fantasy WSOP poker league at 8:1.