by , Dec 31, 2006 | 2:53 pm

Pokerati seeks to be more significant, more relevant, more big-picturey with its coverage in 2007 … Here are some pictures I stumbled upon of Paris Hilton playing poker (at the Wynn). Hadn’t seen these before — would be a shame not to include them in the archive.

And in case you forgot what originally made us care whether or not she played poker, click below for a transcript:

Originally posted on The Scrolldown (2003-2005)


November 12, 2003

After watching various pundits moralize on the Paris Hilton sex tape — a ratings grab for sure — I couldn’t help but download the video (for journalistic research purposes, of course). Good stuff … you know, if you enjoy the idea of 30-year-old guys having sex with hot 19-year-old heiresses.

I briefly considered posting the video on the Scrolldown, but decided against it (yeesh, so many difficult news judgments) upon learning that the Hilton family plans to sic the legal hounds on anyone who does. And besides, I don’t know her, I’ve never met her, and she’s never done anything to me. And on top of that, this not-so-poor girl is someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, and perhaps someone’s special naughty fucktoy, so that wouldn’t really be fair or nice.

However, in the interest of free speech, education, and elevating the standards of amateur pornography, here is a transcript of the dialogue:

Paris Hilton: Ahhh. Ahhh.

Rick Salomon: Ohhh. Ohhh.

TV in background: I’m sorry [inaudible].

[Sounds of ball slappage]

RS: Ohhh. Your pussy.


PH (looking at camera): Hi [giggles].

RS: What do you say? I can see it. Come here. Uhhhh.

PH: I don’t wanna do it this way.

RS: How do you wanna do it?

PH: This way.

RS: You’re not gonna be able to see it good from there.

PH: Yeah I can.

RS: Here.

[Phone ringing.]

PH (crawling leftward): Give me that phone.

RS: Fuck your phone [inaudible].

PH: [Giggle] I can’t turn it off.

RS: Fuckin’ broo[inaudible] …

PH: It’s fuckin’ Fred … [dismissive chuckle] … mmmmhhmm.

RS: Turn the other way sweetie, so I can see my cock going in there … ohhhh … ohhh … mmm-ohhhhhhh … oooooh-ahhh. ohhhh, yeah. uhhhhh.

PH: Mmmmmm.

RS: You want it in there or just [inaudible; word has distinctive “oo” sound] …

PH: Ohh-oooh-oooh …

RS: Mmmmm.

PH: Ahh.

RS: Ohhh. Ohhh. Ohhh.

(Penis slips out of vagina)

RS: I want you to get on top of me, face that way. So I can see how pretty you are.

PH: Ehhh-uhhh … Ahhh.

RS: So you get to see what I get to see.

PH: Ahh. Hahh… Haaaaah.

RS: Nuh-uh, you gotta go straight up.

PH: Hee … mmm. Eohhh. Eohhh.

RS (grumbly): Ohhhhhhhh … Oh, look at that … Oohhhh.

PH: Ah. Ahh. Ahhhh.

——- cut to blowjob view ——-

TV (in background): Yo honey’s shot! Proud African black man motherFUCKer!

PH: Ohhh. Mmm. [Sluuurrrp]

TV: Shit! [Laughter]

PH: Mmmm-mmm …

TV: Call me Steve!

PH: [Quick slurp]

TV: Call me Todd! What’s in a mothafuckin’ name? ‘Cause blame will make you forget shit. That’s alright Caucasians, yo time is coming. [Laughter]

PH: Mmm-mmm.

TV: Look around. We ain’t gonna use no whips. We just gonna knock y’all the FUCK out! Bowwww! [Uproarious laughter]

PH: Tee-hee.


Dan Michalski :: 09:12 PM

5 Comments to “Pokerazzi”

  1. jackietrehorn

    Note the cocktails….
    Anybody know the Wynn’s chips?
    How much money does she have.

  2. DanM

    in one pic here she seems to be all-in with a shortish-stacked $3,100. that is operating under the assumption that yellows are $1k, lavenders are $500, and blacks are $100. I know the blacks are 100 for sure.

  3. Cowboy

    Well I wouldn’t mind being all in her. Personally I like my women a little on the slutty side.

  4. DanM

    I know. That’s what your wife tells me. (Rimshot! Boo-yeah!)

  5. Lynsey Casten

    I think Paris is really pretty but sometimes doesn’t show it