Hottest Boys of Poker

by , Aug 28, 2009 | 5:31 pm

Boys will be boys, and those of us in poker’s minority know this. The Wicked Chops entities made “hot girls” the norm for poker media, and the PokerListings guys have jumped on board with this gem, including comments about how their telephoto lenses are always “extended and ready.” Seriously, guys? Argh! But I’ve gotta be honest… The other side of that coin is that girls will be girls.

Believe it or not, there are some hot boys in poker who, with just a glance across the table, can make us drop our, ummm, chips. It is true that many of them, while looking good with their rock-hard abs and chiseled upper arms, do have poker “performance issues” (most of my hot boy picks didn’t exactly show positive results at the WSOP), but sometimes poker is hard! Even without final tables or gold bracelets, they still to stand out from the masses – at least 6 to 8 inches, I assume. Here are a few:

Chad Brown
Now that is what the gym is for. Not only is he in shape but he shows it off with his tight-fitting shirts. And he’s well-spoken and intelligent. Go on witcha bad self. Turn-ons: playing poker and traveling the world with wife Vanessa Rousso, donating to various charities, and working out.

Erick Lindgren
Not sure if he has rock-hard abs because his shirts aren’t tight enough, but he is athletic and good-looking. Best of all, he’s got a fantastic dry sense of humor. Turn-ons: playing poker tournaments, engaging in a little one-on-one on his home (basketball) court, and remembering reporters’ names (hi, Erick!).

Patrik Antonius
A list of hot boys would not be complete without Patrik, who likely was just born looking so amazing. His model good looks make everyone’s heads turn when he enters a room. Turn-ons: playing the highest stakes poker games in the world, living in Monte Carlo with wife Maya, and being a hot dad to his baby.

Luca Pagano & Marco Traniello
This one is a tie of the Italian kind. Luca knows how to dress like he’s straight out of a Euro fashion magazine, and Marco has more muscle, not to mention an adorable family, but the two are equally Italian and deserve a spot on this list. Turn-ons: playing poker in far-off lands, speaking English with a heavy Italian accent, and enjoying soccer games.

Like this one is a surprise? He raps, dances, works out, and knows how to rock a concert and rock those diamond earrings. And he’s from my hometown of St. Louis. E.I., E.I. – uh-oh! Turn-ons: learning to play poker, reppin’ his hometown, and wearing a wifebeater like nobody’s business.

Honorable mentions: Paul Wasicka, Phil Ivey, Nenad Medic, Brian Townsend, Gus Hansen, Joe Sebok, David Singer, Scott Clements, and most men who know how to use their, er, thick wallets. No matter what men like to think, the size of the roll really does matter; am I right ladies?

(This post was more fun to write than I thought! I’m starting to see why my adorably beastly male colleagues spend so much time championing the lowest common denominator.)

4 Comments to “Hottest Boys of Poker”

  1. DanM

    ***No matter what men like to think, the size of the roll really does matter;***

    LOL, so if one were to carry their roll in a big violin case, is that extra attractive?

  2. California Jen

    I’d have to see the roll to properly determine its attractiveness. (I can already see this comment section deteriorating, but I guess I asked for it, eh? Haha.)

  3. DanM

    Gross …

  4. Poker Shrink

    Some rolls are larger because they contain more small denomination assets and others go for quality over quantity. Or as I have heard said: It’s not the size of the wand that puts the rabbit in the hat; it’s the skill of the magician.