This hedline could refer to thousands of players, of course, but I’m talkin’ bout Pokerati’s own Donkey … who busted out on the near last hand. He re-raised with a broadway open-ender, got called with a flush draw, and a club on the turn did him in. Nice go, though Donk!

By the way, he apparently drove Beth Shak nuts — his K-J suckout against hre A-J really set her off. By the way, fyi Donkey, she gave me some of your tells. You apparently blink your eyes a lot when the flop hits you … and you stack your chips individually when you are about to make a move. Just sayin’ …

Bluffing hasn’t gone well for me lately … just curious if anyone would believe me if I told them I lost a big shirts vs. skins prop bet to Pauly:

THACKERVILLE, Okla.–Damnit, where’s my head? I guess I went on tilt when I folded away a $700 pot. I had K-J (with a jack as the top card on a no-straight, no-flush board) and folded to an all-in from Mr. iPod Hoodie Happy Feet. He showed me Q-J.

Tight is wrong! That or I shoulda thought longer to keep him on the hand I put him on on the flop.

Two questionable all-ins later (one of which fell victim to a three outer) I find myself down about $500 and some change. Have already put a call in to Goldfarb to talk me through this mini-meltdown.

One of the criticisms observations about young-punk online phenoms when they play live tourneys is that they don’t know how to compose themselves when not in front of a computer. Like they struggle when it comes to controlling their physical bodies. Of course plenty don’t really give a shit, either.

Check out this fun video of Hevad Khan gettin’ jiggy with, er, something:

Thanks, Shuttergypsy, for the link!

ALT HED: Automated Tell Machines?

THACKERVILLE, Okla.–North Texas player Abteen Vaziri just said now that I know his name I can delete it. He is out. He wins $2,500 for finishing in 55th place. Much of Abteen’s recent success has come from study of Joe Navarro’s book on tells. But he misread a pulsing neck vain for weakness when in reality it was pocket queens.

Sorry dude.

Looks like it’s up to Josh, Troy, and/or TJ to do the Dallas gamers (whose names Pokerati knows) proud.

UPDATE: Troy “Darling” Phillips is out. He got pocket jacks on the button and raised. The ever-aggressive big blind pushed all-in … Troy called … and would learn the sad news that he was up against aces. Ouch!

50th place. $3,000. Still, nice job by the Batfaces favorite sugar daddy curly haired representative. It’s only a matter of time before he runs out of money makes another final table.

UPDATE: Josh Evans also appears to be out. Turned away for a second and his table was gone … and he couldn’t be found elsewhere in the field.

Interestingly enough, while Kido Pham and Greg Raymer were brought out here (and presumably bought in) by WinStar … TJ Cloutier simply showed up on his own and plunked down $1,100. Definitely not a charity event for him. And to think, they don’t even have craps in Oklahoma. Can we say positive EV?

With 45 players left and blinds at 4k/8k+500, Cloutier has about 165,000 chips. Average stack is 111,000.

UPDATE: Just learned that Cloutier was bought into this event by a heretofore unnamed military-ish backer in Dallas … who has 50 percent of the poker hall-of-famer.

If you’re one of the few men that has difficulty reading women poker players then this video should help explain their verbal tells. As with any game…you need to figure out which ladies like to keep it real (ex. the word nothing means…nothing) and which ladies fall into the category below.

Warning to ladies…you may find this offensive. Watch at your own risk.

If this creates more confusion then feel free to ask questions.

LAS VEGAS–Kinda interesting … I don’t know where this video shot from the rails came from … either I pressed a wrong button on my iPhone (in theory) or an anonymous person emailed it into me/YouTube or it was magic. But still, couldn’t wait for ESPN to get and produce the same, er, footage — though they are absolutely welcome to it if they would like.

Anyhow, legal disclaimers aside … Watch a couple of small stacks well into the money but needing to make moves (including Josh Evans, right, shortly before he goes out) with about 80 players left. I wonder how Joe Navarro would interpret this intense, athletic under-the-table action.

Number 2,

Great minds truly do think alike.

Number 1

Do you ever have times when you are 100 percent sure of something that you shouldn’t possibly know? I had two instances like this in Reno.

For the first few hours of the tournament my radar was working extremely well. This particular hand I was not involved in; however, I made a ridiculous read that was right on the money. Player A made a 3x raise in 4th position. Player B and C, the small and big blinds both called. The flop was Q, 8, 3 rainbow. Check, check check. The turn was a Q. B-checked, C-checked, A-bet 1/3 of the pot, B-folded and C-called. The river was a blank. C-checked and player A bet 1/3rd of the pot, Player B called, and before A turned up his cards, I said, “Quads, no doubt”. Everyone else at the table looked stunned. Sure it was one of the possible hands that he had, but I was 100 percent sure. I wish I knew why.

More…

The WSOP Academy has announced its first all ladies camp, to be held June 8-9 at Caesars Palace. Instructing the camp will be Joe Navarro – FBI agent turned poker tell expert, Alex Outhred (four final tables last year) and Annie Duke (WSOP Jedi Knight). The ladies will finish with a tournament awarding the top ten winners a seat into the WSOP ladies event.

Look for the pink banners with Annie’s new sexy photos like the one here.