RE: Banks Prepping for Kibosh

by , Nov 5, 2009 | 4:29 pm

Another example suggesting that change is afoot unless Barney Frank & Friends can save American-friendly online poker sites in 25 days or fewer when you count Thanksgiving:

Click above to see the full letter, and click below for my Google translation from corporate bank-speak to poker English:

Dear Donkeybomber,

We really enjoy having you as a customer, because boy, you sure have been making a lot of deposits lately! My assistant Janna’s boyfriend plays a lot of online poker, and he tried to explain something to me about AQ losing to AJ? Anyhow, damnit-all, that government is telling us we can’t keep letting you fund your PokerStars sit-n-gos.

Hope you understand. The Feds are on us like hawks these days — and now they’re telling us about this crazy new UIGEA thing — so we can’t be too careful. Bummer! But whatcha gonna do, right? If new payment processors pop up, we’ll have to shut down those transactions, too, and any attempt to circumvent this crackdown Uncle Sam might see as “money laundering” Yikes!

I guess all you online poker pros will either have to find new lines of work or move to another country? Hey, did you watch that show 2 Months 2 Million? Do you know those guys? I saw one episode and really liked that Emil. He’s so funny!

Annyhooo, if you still feel the need to gamble online, we’ll happily let you transfer money playing the games at! Thanks again for being a happy, satisfied, Wells Fargo customer!

4 Comments to “RE: Banks Prepping for Kibosh”

  1. Curt

    That barcode looking thing under Tom’s name is his address. If he doesn’t want that information out, you might want to black bar it.

  2. DanM

    crap, i have been trying and trying with this … and even the PDF file ultimately can give up some goods. But for some reason can’t save as a JPG without the blackout on the PDF disappearing. I must be software challenged on this.

    Any readers with the ability to appropriately redact the PDF file and can send me a JPG … there will be muchas gracias for you.

  3. Gabe

    You’ve got mail

  4. DanM

    Thanks a ton, Pokerdoodler! I will feel much less guilt now should Donkeybomber’s family abode and/or bank records fall under attack.