I feel a sincere need to speak on this.

For the first time, I listened to the NWP Radio show last night because it was a tribute to Brandi Hawbaker. Her suicide has deeply affected me, and I hoped to hear some interesting perspective on her life and death. Almost two hours into the show, I did hear those things from Brandi’s ex-boyfriend Brandon and friend Jenn, though they were abruptly cut off in the midst of a very interesting discussion at the show’s end.

Dan Druff, who I know didn’t mean his comments in any sort of malicious way, exemplified many of the opinions I’ve heard since the news of Brandi’s suicide became public. People who have no personal, family, or friend history with mental illness have a rather narrow-minded and simplistic view of most types of mental difficulties. Brandon and Jenn did their best to dispel myths and shed some light on the complexities of people inflicted with such a disease, but it seems to be very difficult for outsiders like Druff to comprehend it.

Over the past week, I’ve had numerous conversations with people in the poker community about Brandi’s suicide. Most of their comments are rooted in pure shock at the thought of someone taking her own life. “It’s the most selfish thing someone can do,” someone said. “She must have done it to get back at the people who were mean to her,” another commented. “How does life get so bad that you want to die?”

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Serious news.

It has been confirmed by the guys at NeverWin Poker that Brandi Hawbaker took her own life on Sunday. She was 26-years old.

Brandi’s relationship with the poker community was a rocky one, to say the least. She certainly battled various inner demons for years, and it seems that the struggle was too rough. Anyone who has experienced that kind of severe mental instability knows that this may have seemed to her like the best way to end the battle, and it is sad that the illness won.

Rest in peace, Brandi.

LAS VEGAS – Last night I avoided the Rio (in fear of being accused of hooking) and joined some friends for the $200 NL Hold’em tournament at the Venetian. Arriving on time I was disappointed to learn I would be alternate 25ish. Deciding to wait until the end of level two, my name was quickly called and I soon found myself seated in the ten-seat (perfect, since I forgot my glasses in the midst of changing handbags).

The Lowdown…It was card dead with a big stack going all-in every hand so NO MOVES were allowed. I did managed to flop an ace against this guy who passed over a few chips but I was still stuck with an infamous alternate short stack. After a table move, things proved to be better when I made the decision to move in with the next decent hand, oops I looked down at aces and tripled up. Long, boring story short…I proudly took home 20th with money going to the top 18 places. I nursed my growling stomach with a warm slice of pizza and went home. Although a couple of women cashed…my friends were disappointed there was no sign of Brandi Hawbaker nor Vinnie Vinh.

BTW – The noon tournament with 700 players started a shouting match about a 40-person chop. They argued for an hour until they convinced the chip leaders to make a bad decision (first place was 100k) finally settling on a 30-way chop. Roughly 8k went to the field with the top five taking 11k-ish.

It was good times, fun poker but a late night in Vegas.

LAS VEGAS – The Pot Limit Omaha Event started today at high noon. Notable players in the Amazon room – Devilfish, James Van Alstyne, Chris Ferguson, Freddie Deeb and Jeff Madsen. Fellow Houstonian and a Pot Limit Omaha fan, Sammy Farha, lost his chance at another bracelet in this event after an early elimination. Brandi Hawbaker was also eliminated early but not before her presence created a buzz.

The 5pm Stud Hi/Lo event has more pros at every table than Seattle has coffee (not per capita). Marcel Luske, Mel Judah, Todd Brunson, Annie Duke, Bill Chen, Mike Sexton, Steve Wong, Barney Boatman and Chip Reese are just a few pros. And I mean few in the sense that I only named a few because there are really more than a few. And did I mention TOM SCHNEIDER?

More on Pokernews.

LAS VEGAS–Shuttergypsy sends word of an ado brewing yesterday between Clonie Gowen and Brandi Hawbacker, seated to her left. According to Gutshot (scroll all the way to the bottom) Clonie wasn’t too appreciative of the apparent coaching being given to Brandi (dubbed the Lindsay Lohan of Poker by Pauly) by master game theorist (and young-girl lover) David Sklansky.

For whatever reason, Clonie insisted it was not Sklansky but rather some random old guy — because surely Sklansky would never violate any terms of rules and etiquette, right? With all due respect to the original boom-era poker babe, I am willing to bet, oh, I dunno, how ’bout $250, that Clonie is so wrong. Not about the coaching, but about the identity of the bald and scruffy rail rooster, who looks very similar to this guy, shot by Shuttergyp last year wearing his lucky shirt:

As mentioned below, Tom is doing rather well in the WPT Championship after Day 2. (This could be the tournament my fantasy team needs! Don’t let me down, guys, I got $20 riding on your results!)

Here is some plausibly interesting raw audio of my two Beyond the Table cohorts recapping Day 1 — with intense, hardcore hand histories to boot:

Tom Schneider/Karridy Askenasy – 4/22/07
[display_podcast]

Highlights below:

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It’s snowing outside. If you don’t mind, please bear with me as we shut down about 30 open Firefox tabs that Pokerati has accumulated over the past few days.

First off, happy February 14. If you do a Yahoo! or Google image search for “valentine poker” (quotes excluded) here’s the first thing you see:

HOLLAND has officially legalized online poker, licensing the game to its government-run land-based casino. This development comes shortly after a round of raids on AMSTERDAM home games. (See the connection?)

UTAH has no intentions of legalizing gambling, but the state did amend some recent legislation to ensure that AMATEUR TEXAS HOLD’EM is allowed in bars.

Meanwhile, WYOMING is one step closer to legalizing “social” cash games in bars and restaurants, though big tourney action may still be outlawed.

A lot’s going down in MACAU, which apparently generated more gambling revenue than LAS VEGAS in 2006. This sorta expansion has Virgin pioneer RICHARD BRANSON putting a few billion into the Asian gambling pot.

But Chinese casino mogul STANLEY HO isn’t gonna let the round-eyes gank all his action.

JOHNNY CHAN has plans to eventually open shop in Macau (and elsewhere) — has partnered with the makers of The Block to create “the world’s first poker hotel.” Tourney director extraordinaire MATT SAVAGE is part of his team — we can only hope this doesn’t mean all of China will be taught to do the flop one card at a time.

Here’s a pokery valentine, from CUBA:

Speaking of communism, you probably have heard by now that the US ATTORNEY’S OFFICE has seized $55 million worth of Neteller funds as evidence.

About $520 of that belongs to yours truly. I suppose that makes me COLLATERAL DAMAGE in the [tag]War on Poker[/tag]:

Here is what Neteller has to say about how and when we will get our money.

Amy and the Shrink have an update on the investigation into a seriously BOTCHED COLOR-UP during last year’s WSOP main event.

It coincides with news that HERSHEY’S has been named the Official Chocolate of the 2007 WSOP. Mmmm, two million extra chocolate chips!

POKERTEK, makers of dealerless electronic poker tables, is being sued by TELLIS, a TEXAS-based software company that doesn’t even have a website.

Haley continues to investigate the legal battles between HARRAH’S and FREDERIC SCHIAVO over the rights to WSOP.COM.

This valentine from PKR.com suggests that while a man’s hand may seem stronger than a woman’s … it’s still possible that she’s holding the nuts:

UPDATE: Just re-watched the vid, and the lady actually would need some help on the turn to make her straight-flush.

Did you know the proportion of WOMEN PLAYING POKER continues to grow? The XX-chromosome set reportedly represents 30 percent of online players now.

BRANDI HAWBAKER, cute-as-pie poker girl and Full Tilt nipple-cover model, has reportedly found a new way to fund her bankroll by stripping at SPEARMINT RHINO. (Congrats on the new sponsorship deal!)

Remember, on February 14 and forever …

Michele in Houston sends a link to some more wayward-hottie jimjabber on 2+2 … about Brandi Hawbaker’s latest sessions at Bellagio and the high-drama life story she’s laying out for all to know. Can’t decide if it’s mean-spirited gossip or just observational reporting. This is all kinda sad, right? Or maybe it’s just gloriously salty real-life poker in an uncontrollably public day and age? Juicy.

I have to admit, I kinda avoided weighing in on the story of Brandi’s run-in with an ill-placed pokery penis … in part because I questioned its relevance, and because I would never want to disrespect women preferred to remember her as the cute boppity tournament-trail newcomer with a big innocent smile, extra-healthy chip stacks, and a crazy little sticker on her boobie. But now with Sklansky, and maybe even Amarillo Slim, we have the makings of a trend … or at least a reality-show pilot.

Thanks for the link, Michele … and by the way, big ups on your new pics, but where’s your sticker shot?!?